My Location: Florida
I’m the father of an 11-year-old girl who hasn’t had consistent formal schooling since she was six. Each year, I ask her mother if our daughter is enrolled, and she says yes, but then mid-year, she pulls her out and switches her to online schooling using just an iPad. Her mother isn’t a qualified educator, and I worry this isn’t providing the structure or quality our daughter needs.
I pay child support monthly without fail, yet her mother constantly claims it’s not enough and even says I need to “pay more to get to know our child.” She has impersonated our daughter via texts from her phone, saying things I know aren’t coming from my daughter herself. Whenever my daughter visits (like during a 12-day visit in December), she tells me she wants to live with me. But her mother gaslights me, paints me as the villain, and even calls my monthly support “abuse.”
The mother’s husband is a professional baseball player, and their family moves constantly (Mexico, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Japan, and beyond). My daughter has no stability, struggles to form lasting friendships, and is kept from doing things she enjoys like sports. Her mother believes sports are “for boys,” despite my daughter’s clear interest.
When my daughter was 4, her mother took me to child support court in New York. After the ruling, I tried to pursue visitation rights, but she moved to Puerto Rico. The court said I’d have to subpoena her, but I had no address to do so. The case fell apart. Frankly, I believe if the roles were reversed, they would’ve found me no matter what.
This summer, I’ve tried again and again to make visitation happen, whether by booking a flight or driving from Florida to Texas. But every weekend I’ve been available (I work Monday–Friday), her mother said none of the dates worked. I’ve attempted four separate times, and it’s been radio silence or rejection every time.
I’ve contacted every Florida state agency I can think of. No one can help. I don’t even know if I have legal standing to challenge custody when she’s constantly outside the country.
I want to give my daughter a steady home, proper education, and the chance to enjoy activities she loves. I’m a father trying to do right by his child, and I’m exhausted from being vilified while being shut out of her life.
What legal steps can I take to secure custody, establish visitation, or ensure her wellbeing? Are there interstate or federal legal avenues I haven’t yet explored?
Any advice or direction would mean everything right now. Thank you.