Not trying to get too deep, but I was talking with a friend and we realized there’s a weird difference between losing someone because of you wrecking them vs. losing someone because they wrecked you.
So what actually lingers more for you: the one who slipped through your fingers, or the one who left scars?
Comments
no
The one that taught me what I absolutely don’t want in someone lol because I ain’t ever putting up with that level of crap again
I’ve dated a decent amount of people in my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever wrecked anyone, nor have I ever been particularly wrecked by someone. Dating doesn’t have to be dramatic, but you should learn from all of your experiences, good or bad.
It’s nothing that dramatic, as in “wrecking”. But I regret not making more effort in some relationships. However, it isn’t entirely my fault; it takes guys a while to realize that they have to “lead” sometimes or stuff won’t get done. Even if she’s an amiable and capable partner, she ~ most likely ~ will not initiate, in almost all areas it’s up to you to make things happen. So, when you’re not too experienced it’s hard enough to figure yourself out, you have to create experiences for another person as well. Caveat; not all women , not all men, etc. But the tendency if for women to think men are confident in some areas, so men are probably confident in all areas, and if he wanted to be doing something more he would just do it. Not the case. Men often need positive feedback in order to proceed and amplify.
If you don’t reward the behavior you want to see more of, it will eventually disappear.
I’d say the one who slipped through my fingers. There’s one woman I still think about even after a decade and I find that to be funny honestly. Could just be nostalgia of the moment as opposed to the reality of the reasons why it didn’t work out.
I would say it’s very hard to find someone who you understand and understands you back. Someone who you can share your feelings with and be incredibly comfortable around.
When you find someone who treats you very well and has so many redeeming qualities, it’s hard to see it not work out. don’t think I’ve ever felt that same level of chemistry from any other woman in my life. I’ve already accepted that people are different and there are different kinds of relationships to look forward to but it still lingers in my mind.
The one who slipped through my fingers. Personally I have a hard time letting things go if I knew I could have done things differently. It just haunts me. I’ve definitely gotten better at dealing with it tho.
The ones who left scars made me stronger, more compassionate, and very careful for the next time.
The one who left scars.
It sucks knowing that you’ll never love anyone the same way again.
Both
The one who taught me what real love is. This changed my entire life. From how I deal with people, to how I spend my free time.
I don’t know that I’ve ever wrecked anyone. Usually I’m the fixer. I’m not sure anyone has really ever wrecked me either. They’ve just cheated on me, or never dated me in the first place but ended up marrying someone like me. This simply confirms the feeling that something about me isn’t complete or good enough. I’ve always felt that way though.
I have both right now.
I’ve had a couple relationships over the last 10 years that ended badly and left me scarred. And it’s definitely had an impact on how I conduct myself in a relationship. But I have resolved to not hold the next woman responsible for the actions of the last.
I also have a woman with whom I could see sharing a beautiful long-term committed relationship. But she just isn’t able to make space for me in her life in that way. And that sucks and it hurts. And it takes just as long to process that as it has to process a break up. Maybe longer. But I’m also not going to hold the next woman at arms length because of the possibility that she might come around.
Well yeah, if you wreck someone, you’re a horrible person.
Being wrecked, yeah it happens. It happens to a lot of people.
I’ll color outside the lines a little bit here and mention the one you never really got to love at all.
Unrequited love is a unique kind of pain.
The scars never go away, we just get better at hiding them.
The ones that break us are the ones we never forget unfortunately
Probably the one who taught me not to love the same again because the thought of her always comes back when you try to date someone new.
I’ve never wrecked someone so by default it would be the latter.
The latter.