My daughter 12(f) said the word “frick” in front of my husband 47(m) and me 45(f) this evening. I told her to watch her language. My husband said something along the lines of “girls shouldn’t speak like that.” It’s my position that no 12 year old should use the word, who cares what gender she is? This sparked a giant debate. My husband thinks the entire world expects boys to cuss, and not that it’s okay, but it’s less okay for girls – much like belching is something girls shouldn’t do and heavy lifting is something boys should do. I told him his views are sexist; I’m pretty sure the world is getting away from traditional gender views. Settle the debate for us.
Sexist husband or wife over-reacting?
r/amiwrong
Comments
So sexist. Tell your kid to hide her swearing. Because she isn’t going to stop.
YANW.
Fuck that kind of thinking.
–a woman
Your husband is sexist.
He has different standards for boys and girls and he’s wrong.
Your husband is sexist if girls can’t boys can’t
Of course it’s sexist. One sex is allowed to curse and the other isn’t.
Utter tripe.
His view on this is sexist. Fuck him.
I would object to that in my house. Maybe overreacting but after years of underreacting I appreciate it.
Yuck. This is so poor form.
Definitely sexist but “frick” isn’t a curse word lmao
You’re not wrong. Your husband is also, unfortunately, not wrong about what ‘the world’ expects of boys and girls, but ‘the world’ is sexist.
Everyone is wrong here.
Frick is imitation swearing. Get over it, Mom.
Whether you have a penis or vulva should not determine behavior. Get wayyyyy over it, Dad, sheesh.
The first time my kid swore in front of me, I told her to "stop fucking swearing." She was so caught off guard that she laughed, then we both laughed.
She rarely swears. I’m the one with the potty mouth.
Swearing is an excellent stress reliever!
Everyone cusses. Everyone belches, farts, can lift weights, and everything in between. It is less likely for women to do that because of the traditional norms. though that is changing, and there’s nothing wrong with that. everyone is human, we all all do these things occasionally.
Lol. though I am going to question why you guys are upset about Frick? I guess I’m weird because I teach my children to say Frick, heck, etc instead of hell, f***, etc. because videos and the outside world have these words everywhere. I don’t want them repeating it, so I teach them something that flows off the tongue the same way those words do but aren’t them.
He’s being sexist. Burping is a natural function of your body. It’s fine to let someone else do the heavy lifting, but everyone should know how to safely lift heavy things & it’s a good thing to be strong enough to lift things. Cursing is neither masculine nor feminine.
It’s absolutely fine to correct her on her language, but what’s not fine is to say that because she’s a girl, that language is unacceptable.
My response to my grandmother complaining that I wasn’t behaving as a lady was to remind her that I wasn’t a lady, I was a very active little girl.
‘What does her anatomy have to do with her language?’
You’re both wrong.
Your husband would have a fucking heart attack at my house.
My 9 yo daughter uses the word "freaking" a lot
I cuss a lot. I am woman.
Your husband is a sexist AH. Please keep your eyes open for more misogynistic crap that he is teaching your kids.
Did she say frick or fuck? I’m in my 50s and my mother still tries to tell me not to swear. But I believe a good swear here and there gets the point across. I told my son (now an adult) to not swear in front of grandma out of respect. There’s a time and a place. For example stub your toe deserves a very loud God dammit or fucking A! Swearing AT people is not ok. Example 2: I may be a fucking bitch but you better not call me that. 🤣 I have no idea why your husband is sexist though. Good luck with that.
Gross. Your husband has boring outdated and SEXIST views. And now he’s pushing them onto your child. He needs to check himself.
He’s sexist coming from a cussing like a sailor man.
His sexism is way more damaging than any curse your daughter may utter.
I hope she takes up burp spelling the word fuck on his behalf.
She didn’t actually curse, so it might help to figure out where she gets a pass with substitute words.
You’re both wrong he’s wronger but frick is not a bad word omg
☠️Girls aren’t supposed to say the secret power words. Those are reserved for certain men. Not all men, since some men are not supposed to be angry in public. You know which ones.
Your husband’s views are antiquated. Does he also expect your daughter to pursue a husband instead of an education? For her goal in life to find a man, settle down, and bear his children while making sure his dinner is ready on time?
I grew up in a super conservative religious home and even my own parents wouldn’t get all bent up over the word “frick”?????
Like tf??
Firstly, frick is not a “bad” word, especially for a 12 year old. Secondly, your husband is absolutely being sexist.
If they can say it on network tv it is NOT a swear. Period.
Your husband wrong.
Your husband would faint in Boston or New York, Frick New England as a whole, F@ck is like every other word from both sexes!
Hate these kind of double-standards. Husband is wrong.
Not wrong, but I’d keep an eye on this as she gets older. My father was a lot like this and would say "Ladies don’t speak that way". He also had very different rules for me became "females" don’t play baseball or kickball, "females" don’t go camping, "females" should be home from dates by 9:30pm, etc.
We have normalized "boys will be boys" for far too long!!!
The psychological consequences of sexism that are imparted onto women’s identities can be long lasting and life changing.
The message that boys are expected to behave badly and girls are not needs to be eradicated. It leads to the belief that men are entitled to certain behaviours that women are not. Meaning women are less than, not equal and that when they behave badly, they are entitled to.
It always starts small, Mom. Glad that you are nipping it in the bud.
I would talk to him about how he wants his daughter to grow up. What kind of partner he wants for her. HE sets the example and has more influence on what her future relationships are going to look like than anyone else. He needs to understand how those comments are interpreted by a young girl.
You’re both wrong.
Frick isn’t fuck, it’s a common replacement like fudge or fiddlesticks but it is still not a swear word.
Twelve is plenty old to start using swear words considering most children pick them up from their own parents by the age of two. If your husband would allow a boy to swear he should be reminded that misogyny isn’t attractive and such double standards for females are harmful and infantilizing.
If she’s big enough for people to be sexist around her, she’s old enough to tell them to fuck off.
It’s sexist, and frick isn’t a swear word. My dad also told me ladies shouldn’t swear. If anything, the sexism encouraged me to swear more out of spite.
As long as your daughter understands that certain words “shouldn’t” be used in certain contexts, and can control how she speaks, I say let it go. It’s going to happen.
Swear words are a part of everyday lexicon. And while swearing and intelligence are often conflated, the fluency a person has with swear words is an indication of their vocabulary can also increase pain tolerance.
https://www.sciencealert.com/swearing-is-a-sign-of-more-intelligence-not-less-say-scientists
Your husband’s a fricking sexist.
Yall both suck, but he sucks more. You’d absolutely faint in my house. I have four kids ranging in age from 2-15, and our only rule is you don’t say unkind things to people. So “goddamn it I stubbed my fucking toe” won’t even get a side eye. But “your makeup looks stupid” will land you in deep shit. But I flat out wouldn’t be married to someone who thinks it’s OK to actively teach misogyny to my children. Why do you think crass behaviors are tolerated for men and not women? Because some men don’t tolerate women no matter what they’re doing. They want us to be objects and play things and servants and seen and not heard. Don’t have opinions or personalities or a sense of humor or take up space in any fashion bc it’s inconvenient for mediocre men. Then again I also probably wouldn’t be married to someone who thinks frick is a cuss word. They would have run screaming on the first date. So I guess YMMV.
Definitely sexist. He wouldn’t like me, I swear a lot and I am a woman.
You’re not wrong. Your husband is being sexist. And yes, you would think in 2025 we would be moving away from those "traditional" views, but we really haven’t come as far as we think we have. Especially with the MAGATs.
In the public school my 10yo niece goes to, the girls can’t wear dresses above the knee, tank tops, skirts (at all), or any shoes that expose their toes. This goes all the way up through the high school. The boys do not have a dress code.
You need to make sure your husband doesn’t force these views on your daughter.
Yes, it’s sexist.
in a world where language policing is becoming ever more prevalent, I feel it’s your child’s solemn duty to have a filthy mouth. I’m team kid on this one. You both can go pound sand.
I don’t even think I would be mad if my toddler said “frick” …. Considering that a curse word for a 12 year old is wild and consider yourself very lucky if that’s your biggest behavior issue.
And Yes your husband is sexist. Women curse.
Your husband is sexist.
Your husband is a dumbass
The entire world does not hold expectations of anyone, it forces norms onto kids, and those norms are sexist. Your husband clearly conforms to those sexist norms, you clearly do not. What’s to debate? You have a difference of opinion based on your separate views. I think your husband is wrong, but I’m not a sexist asshat, so there’s that. Probably some sexist people who think we should all take a time machine back to 1930 or whatever and stop letting women wear pants. The main issue is, what are you going to do about raising a soon-to-be teen girl around/with a sexist asshat?
Husband is wrong. This is a gender neutral thing. Bet he thinks premarital sex is a guys only thing as well.
She said frick 🤣 both of you need to calm down. I can’t even focus on your question.
I would say thanks for saying frick instead of the alternative.
Fuck your misogynistic husband.
well you don’t have to worry about your husband stepping out on you – he obviously doesn’t know many women. He is wrong, women swear, damnit.
Well, I’m a fucking mechanic who can throw other mechanics around and I’m a woman. So your husband can sit down and make me a fucking sandwich.
Your husband is wrong.
I’m a woman, fuck that, he’s sexist.
My EX partner used to say bullshit like “You run like a girl” and stuff like that. It’s these things and the casual racism that keeps me from going back with him in my weak moments.
100% sexist and I don’t even understand how it’s a debate. In what century is he living?
I’m 36 and after having the "girls shouldn’t curse" shoved down my throat, I use every form of curse word in my sentences. Tell me again a girl shouldn’t swear.
Lol, when I read the title, I thought it said, "Sexiest husband!"
Your husband is a moron. Your daughter probably senses this.
I’m a woman & I curse like crazy. I even talk to my mom like that. (Relax, I’m 62, she’s 85 😂). My daughter has some bad language but I blame myself for most of it, but these kids in middle & high school are evil little goblins! If I had spoken like that at that age, I would have gotten back-handed.
Sexist yes, but you can’t ban ‘frick’, it is a non swear word used in places ‘fuck’. It is completely unfair of you to ban her from expressing herself, would you also ban ‘fiddlesticks’?
Frick isn’t a curse word any more than dang or darn are.
But yes it’s sexist.
You are just now finding out the person you married is sexist? All the time you’ve been married he’s been "perfect?" Personally, I think anyone should be able to use whatever word they want that fits the moment. If you don’t want your kids to cuss lead by example.
Yes your husband has expressed a sexist view
Your husband is a sexist idiot.
The guys sexist but frick isn’t even an actual curse. Let her say fuck, it builds character.
Yea it’s sexist. I’m a 60 year old married mother of 4 with 7 grandchildren. I started following my dreams when the youngest went to college. Got a tattoo and a Harley. Learned to play poker.
Husband is retired now. We still always hold hands. I’m the one that swears like a sailor.
But imo 12 is too young for some phrases no matter the gender.
What the fuck is wrong with frick
Girls should not speak like that…they should say F*ck instead of Frick
Maybe that is what your husband meant 🤷🏽
Every 12 year old should be allowed to say frick for fucks sake
100% sexist but good lord what a word to get wound up over.
Reminds me of my (religious and frankly insane) mother telling me off for saying ‘sugar’ because, "that’s just another way of saying shit".
It’s sexist to say that one gender is allowed and one is not. It’s ridiculous that either of you would even raise an eyebrow at her saying "frick".
JFC, you’re going to have real issues with her like any teen. This battle is not worth fighting at all. Get over it, it’s not a swear word.
Holy fucking shit. People are so ridiculously upright it pains me.
I’m a 46 year old father of two. We have never had rules against swear words. My son is 18 and my daughter is 11.
They can cuss around us at home all they want. They are merely words used for emphasis.
We explained to them that some people are ridiculously uptight and get offended, so not to use certain words in certain situations.
Their mother and I both cuss like sailors, so it would be hypocritical to expect them not to.
Neither one has ever been in trouble for cussing. Not in school, not at friend’s house… NOWHERE have they been in trouble. Not once. They are doing great in school both educationally and socially.
My son got accepted to his dream college and is head over heels in love for the first time. His girlfriend is amazing and we adore her.
It’s because we allow it and don’t make a big deal out if it. It’s not exciting for them. There’s no thrill of doing something ‘wrong’ or whatnot.
Humanity is FAR too uptight, and it shows.
Edit. To actually answer your question, YES, he’s being ridiculously sexist.
Yes it’s sexist but also yes you’re over reacting. "Frick" is not a swear word ffs. She’s 12, not 2.
Oh my gods, just let kids express themselves, even when that expression isn’t positive. Kids, especially those within the throes of puberty, should not be required to be happy or neutral at all times. YAW.
Are you serious? You and your husband are arguing about the word frick? Not only that, but gender rolls. There are bigger issues here. You got to be kidding? Gosh I feel for this child.
You are correct. ✌🏽
You should just let your children express themselves at home and in front of you unless you want them to always watch what they say, and withhold their feelings.
My god if your starting arguments over stuff this trivial in your marriage then good luck on the next ten years
Frick isn’t a cuss word. Lord help those kids
There is a unspoken rule in my house. We allow our kids to express their minds around us at home using more temu swear words. Frick instead of fuck, buns instead of ass, itchy bee instead of bitch… you get the idea. Swearing but in a more safe creative way. The kids know if the slip and say the actual words i might give the a “watch it now look” but won’t be a hypocrite because we adults use that language in just normal conversations because it’s what we grew up with. Becomes normal language when raised around roughneck, bikers, farmers, small town bar (i was not my kids since we don’t drink.) The whole “boys lift heavy things and are expected to swear while girls are to be treated like a china doll” is such 1940, 1950’s bs. My youngest daughter can stand toe to toe with her older brother and give back what he dishes out. I raised my kids that social stereotype for male vs female rolls is bs. There are females i’m around daily who are just as stronger if not stronger than me but get look and dress like what a stereotypical female is supposed to be. HOWEVER, she is your child so i won’t lecture or say you both are wrong because i am not you and live your life.
You would be appalled, but my parents allowed us to cuss within reason. I’m talking about the full cuss word, not anything close to it. The only thing we couldn’t do was slur words. This taught us the importance of when to say it, not to use towards someone else (as much as possible), and that it wasn’t "forbidden" therefore we were more likely to want to use it. Also Frick is not a cuss word, and you believe so it then she could be saying a lot worse.
As an adult, now I know when to say it and when not to, how to gauge others’ comfort level of cussing (I refrain if someone doesn’t like it), and make sure it’s not directed at people and more at situations.
Overall, yes, your husband is being sexist. My mom was a big potty mouth, but she was also very smart, ran a business, and was a good mom. It didn’t make less than what she was: a beautiful woman who was a mother, sister, friend, and wife.
yes it’s sexist and he is sexist but you’re both fuckin weird for getting mad at a kid for saying "frick". it ain’t a swear word. do you get mad at her for saying "heck" and "darn" too?
ESH
Hold on, sorry. Just had to fart. Wtf is his fucking problem??
Your poor daughter getting reprimanded for saying a word that isn’t even a curse word.
You’re all fucking weird. (Edited to add fucking.)
I heard my so using language like that at that age. I know that kids speak that way with each other. It’s like a right of passage so to speak. I told him I didn’t care what he said as long as no adults hear it. It’s a respect thing. I never had a problem again.
NTA I’m a woman and I swear (with real swear words) like a sailor sometimes… of course I actually was in the Navy, but it started before that. There is a place and time for everything including calling your husband out on his sexist attitude and warning your daughter that if she sees any more of it from her dad that she should tell you. Also, I’m older than you are, so me swearing in HS as a goody two shoes honor student shows the world got away from enforced stereotypes years ago. Rosie Grier (football player) knitted and did needlepoint in the 1970s fer crissake.
Over reacting
both of yall are dramatic as fuck
Girls/Women/Femmes get to drop the word fuck. It just may not be appropriate to do so infront of your parents but gender should have nothing to do with it.
You both sound like tedious parents in the first place. Maybe focus on that first, unless you want to completely estrange your children once they move out
I was taught that words like frick are inappropriate because they are a stand-in for a bad word. Sort of like a nickname. I have a nickname so I was told that it’s the same concept. I told my cousin I would whoop her "You Know What". I got in trouble because "You know what" is the same as saying I am going to whoop your A$$!
You are not wrong, your husband is sexist.
He let you out of the kitchen long enough to type this?
How about if your daughter says fork instead? Frick isn’t a curse. But it’s all about intent, I guess.
Regarding your better half, I agree with your stance.
My sister burped more than me as kids and taught me how to curse in other languages. I know many women who curse a lot more than I do. Only smart women fucking curse.
However, kids should refrain from cursing, unless if they get paid to do in movies. 🤔🤔🤔
He’s sexist but also frick? You’d hate my house. My 5 year old is taught how, when, and where is appropriate to cuss, not that she can’t.
I have different feelings based on whether or not he believes men should curse in front of women.
It sounds like the only one with a good head on their shoulders in that house is the twelve year old. What on earth
I am in my 30s and to this day both my parents try to tell me not to curse “it’s unlady like” was the first reason. Then as I became an adult “it’s just not professional, I hope you don’t talk like this at work!”
… I am in the service industry. I am 20% more mild than most of my coworkers and staff. So yes. I do curse, cause it’s part of the lingo at this point.
I was also sent to Cotillon when I was like 5th grade and they never made my brother learn where all the fucking forks go, ballroom dancing, etc. 🙄
For me it’s about age, location, and appropriate use.
Age—I don’t like my kids using language or close to foul language. Tell them they need to come up with something more creative
Location—of course the kids try it with each other when I’m not around
Appropriate use—my daughter broke her finger in the car door. Exclamation of pain was allowed
IMO you’re both wrong. Frick isn’t a bad word and gender should play no part in what words are ok to say. You might view frick as a bad word and think you’re ok for enforcing that rule in your home, but you’re setting your kid up for ridicule by her peers. It’s also belies that probably your household in general maybe sheltering and controlling. I employ you to evaluate that you’re enforcing standards and using discipline that make sense for the real world and not an arbitrary ideal that doesn’t exist. Your children need to be able to function when they leave home.
You are right. Sorry your husband is so sexist and hope you can protect your daughter from the fallout
I don’t see why this needs to be such an argument that you post on Reddit about it. It IS unlady like to cuss just like it IS ungentleman like to cuss. I mean I see your point but come on. And frick isn’t a cuss word good lord.
Yeah he’s misogynistic. Big time.
He’s sexist. Plus people use regular words to harm people all the time. What matters is the intent. Is it meant in context or is it meant to harm, that’s what matters.
Y’all are both doing way too much. She’s almost a teenager. Stop worrying about the words she’s saying and focus more on what she’s doing online
potentially unsupervised. Every 12 year old I know is saying much worse because they are viewing much worse online.
You’re both wrong. “Frick” is 21st century “darn.”
Policing your children’s vocabulary to that stringent level will lead them to use the words shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker and tits, almost pathologically as a teenager and adult. Their own children WILL be given freedom of speech in public and home and those kids will be referred to as crotch goblins by their parents.
Frick.. really? Wow.. your kids gonna be really well adjusted under your regime. Jesus.. both of you are off your rocker.
For the record. My daughter is well adjusted and successful. She’s also 25, so my opinion is from a parental stance.
Goodluck. When the rebellion ages kick in, you are gonna be floored.
Not me literally howling over labelling the word “frick” as a curse word