TLDR: Girlfriend falsely accused me of cheating because I was talking to my sister. She “moved out” and left me in our house with our son.
Last night I had a few drinks and stayed up very late talking to my sister over the phone. My girlfriend hates my family and really hates when I talk to them, especially my sister. (They got on a physical fight in high school). Time flew by and I stopped the conversation to go to bed when I realized that it was about to be 5 AM. My sister has a boring night shift job so I was just chatting with her over face time.
Upon attempting to go to bed, my girlfriend springs up like the exorcist and starts to yell at me about the time and me being a drunk. I was not visibly drunk and was only trying to get to bed. I did nothing to get her upset other than stay up late on a Saturday night.
She accused me of cheating on her and said something along the lines, “You must be cheating on me because the only time you stay up this late on the phone was like when we first got together.”
I snapped back and explained that I was talking to my sister all night. She went on to say that I’m scheming with her or something. I told her she’s insane and is making it up for no reason. She brought out her phone and started taking video of me where ever I was in the house and started saying that she didn’t feel safe because I was drunk. This was completely unwarranted. I did nothing to make her feel that way and wasn’t even yelling at her. She has a tendency to lie and has lied to the police before in an attempt to get me arrested. So….this is nothing new. She eventually went down stairs and slept on the couch.
In the morning, she returned from a long walk and proceeded to put her clothes in trash bags and throw them in her car. She said out loud, and loud enough for our son to hear, “You can have the house, you can have everything, the only thing I want is half of our son.” She also mentioned that she is not going to make payments on her new used car so it can get repossessed….I co-signed on the car. She wanted nothing and just wants shared custody of our son. She said bye to our son and left to go stay somewhere.
Honestly, we’ve been arguing on and off for years so this is no shock to me. She’s not very stable and thrown things at me, hit me and threatened to lie to the police to get me arrested. My own family even saw her attempt to hit me.
My son is 11 and I can’t tell how he’s taking it. He’s calm and quiet most of the time. He is clearly sad but I’ve not seen him shed a tear. He’s just started middle school. I’m only one who takes care of his school work, activities, sports and anything else. We have a strong bond and it hurts me to see him go through this.
My family is telling me two things, one person says to lock her out and call the police for abandonment.
Another family member is telling me to do nothing , let her move out, and let her come to the house to work. Also, we live over 1000 miles from any relative.
I’m so confused and paralyzed. I can easily manage the house, I pretty much did everything anyway. She just cooked more often because well….she’s better at it.
What do I need to do now?
UPDATE: She just called my son and said that she’s going to come back and sleep here when everyone’s asleep. I’m so confused.
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You need to leave her for your son’s sake. She’s toxic and probably suffering from mental health problems and or substance abuse. Please get therapy for both you and your son and boot her back 1000 miles.
I think your priority needs to be your child. Did your girlfriend discuss anything with him before she left? Did she assure him that she would be back? When these abusive outburst occur, does he witness them? Regardless, I’m sure he can feel the attention between his parents, but also between his mother and members of his extended family. For the sake of your son, I hope that both you and your girlfriend can manage your businessin respectful ways that don’t make him feel vulnerable or torn in half.
Please, for your and your son’s sake, call the police, document everything , call a lawyer. You may have a very clear chance of winning custody. She is clearly unstable and violent. Please, protect your son.
Get off reddit right now, and call a lawyer.
She called the cops on your before. That was a practice run. The only way to stay safe iwith her is to install cameras in the public areas of the house for the next time the cops arrive.