She had 4 years to choose, now it’s my turn.

I met my partner 9 months into his divorce. His ex wife was physically abusive towards him and he still experiences night terror like situations where he wakes up in a panic, sometimes he has even stood up and looked around, before laying down and going back to sleep (he never remembers waking up). There are times where he has nightmares about her, and if we run into her or her family in public it leaves him shaking. I’ve even noticed his skin becomes clammy.

We have been together for a year and a half and now have a 2 month old. His family was never supportive of his marriage to her and never retained a relationship with his ex wife, except one.

His oldest sister has remained in contact with her and is even friends with her. Towards the end of my pregnancy my partner and her decided to sit down and talk about it.

He told her it felt like a betrayal and he was very uncomfortable with their friendship. He told her it made him afraid of coming over to visit her kids (his niece and nephews) because he didn’t want to risk running into her there. His sisters responded with a bunch of excuses as to why she is still going to keep contact with her (she barely comes by, she just comes over on her own).

Eventually they agreed that If she was going to be somewhere that his sister would text him or let him know ahead of time.
My partners co-worker informed him that his nephew had a football game(they’re on the same team) a day before the game and his sister still didn’t tell him about it so he called and asked. She basically just confirmed there was a game but gave no information and no location.

When me and my partner showed up, we were greeted by the image of his sister sitting hip to hip with my partners ex wife.
We came to the game with my partners other sister and took a seat at the bottom of the bleachers, them at the top (my partner DOES NOT want our baby around his ex wife) his older sister did not come down to say hi to any
of us or to see my baby or her sisters baby.

After the game she came down and chatted with us like nothing happened and said she didn’t tell the ex wife about the game, she must of looked it up herself somehow. (Doubtful bc my partner looked it up and couldn’t find info on it anywhere) she was there about an hour before us, and neglected to inform my partner that his ex wife was there and sitting with her.

All this to say I do not want me or my child around her anymore. I will be civil at family events but I have no intention of being friends or family with her. She is not aloud to watch or hold my child. Not only bc I feel she disrespected the father of my child but I also feel unsafe around her.

She has told my partner to his face that she knew the ex wife would beat and abuse him and when they broke up during they’re engagement, his sister helped the ex wife kick him out of their home and he had to sleep on other family members couches. She even told her kids (his niece and nephews) not to talk to him during that time.

I do not feel comfortable letting my baby around someone who protected an abuser rather than supported their own brother, and I refuse to tolerate a family member that ignores my partners boundaries.

The first time she prioritized the ex wife over him was 4 years ago(many family members have chastised her decisions since then), so I feel like that has been enough time to realize her mistake and cut contact with the ex wife. They never had kids and his sister only met her because he was dating her.