I was little when my mom left me to my abusive father, after years of abuse he died then i stayed with some awful relatives for a awhile before my mom came back and took me back in after getting into contact with them learning my situation (and they practically beg her to take me). at this point she had been dating now marred to her new wife ill call jasmine. she’s honestly an amazing person and has my real first mother figure and my biggest supporter with all my trauma and as i still don’t really like or forgive my biological mother, jasmine is the only person i consider my mother. but lately jasmine has been trying to reconcile with her wife because i still don’t forgive her because of my resentment and bitterness. the few memories i have of her were just her ignoring me or yelling at me.
but jasmine has said things that don’t add up to what really happen as she’s makes it sound like my bio mom wanted to take me and tired to get custody of me which i don’t believe for second and that she actually really cares about me (even though i overheard my relatives begging her to take me but her refuting back and i when move back in with her she was distant and cold to me. it took jasmine for her to start treating me like her son) and how terrible my acholic father was and keep my mom from talking to me (which has never been establish and he was never a acholic or addict of any kind as far as i was aware). I’m worried for jasmine that’s she being lied to at least in some compacity by her wife but i im also scared that if tell her the truth it could mean either
1 she doesn’t believe me or 2 she does and it causse a fallout their marriage i could lose her as a mom cause even though she’s treated me really well and lots of love im still not her real kid and so she probably wouldn’t have to much a problem just leaving. maybe its not as big of a deal as I’m making it i should just let go. idk what the right thing to do is.
TL;DR should I told my stepmom that the truth is her wife abandoned me and was a terrible mother before the got together
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Aw, kiddo. It sounds like you (completely validly) have a lot of abandonment issues. I (35f) come from a similar childhood of being passed around because I wasn’t wanted. I really hope that Jasmine won’t abandon you when you tell her the truth, which I believe you should. Your bio mom probably just lied to her to make herself look better. Be open to conversation, discuss that you don’t believe that bio mom ever tried to get custody of you, or even wanted it.
I am of the belief that it is your story to tell. You are allowed to talk to Jasmine and give her your side of the story as well.