Soooo me and my boyfriend chose to go all the way today. He and I have been dating just two days shy of a month. We moved pretty fast, but the both of us are actually pretty sure about each other. I’d never gone that far with anyone before.
My mom got pregnant with me at nineteen, intentionally. She was married and all that beforehand so it wasn’t for lack of being careful or anything. Shes always harped on me that accidents happen and she’s too young to be a grandmother and all that.
When I was with my last partner with that anatomy, she told me she wanted to know if I was active so we could get me on the pill. I don’t really want to keep hearing about how she doesn’t want grandchildren and how hormones make you do crazy things. My boyfriend and I are safe and used protection (a condom if that matters) and talked thoroughly about it beforehand.
So despite my mom preaching to me that she wants to communicate about these things- I feel like I can handle it. Should I tell her anyway? Just to ease any issues down the road? I’m not really sure and I may be overthinking it.
Comments
Tell her only if you want but at 19 it’s not any of her business
You are an adult. You can get your own birth control, and you do not need to tell anyone except your doctor about your sexual activity.
Indulge your mom when she tells you she doesn’t want to be a grandmother. You can tell her you don’t want to make her one yet, joke with her that she’s probably love it, or just ignore her. It’s frustrating for sure, but there are a lot worse things mothers do.
You don’t need her help to get on birth control. You just go to the dr and get it prescribed. If you want to tell her though that’s entirely your choice. Just make sure you are using protection either way because birth control doesn’t protect you from STD/STIs
it sounds like you two were responsible and took precautions, which is really important. if you feel confident and safe, it’s not strictly necessary to tell your mom, especially since you’re already on top of protection. but if you think it might help her trust you more or prevent future misunderstandings (like getting on the pill or talking about sexual health), a short, honest conversation could be good.
Nah, don’t tell her. You’re 19, not 15. Get on birth control quietly if you want extra safety, but your sex life isn’t a group project
you are an adult, you don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to.
No, you don’t have to tell her unless you want to. It’s your business and you can go to the doctor yourself if you want to get on birth control.
Do you live with this person rent free? Believe it or not, they have no obligation to house you and take care of your baby – probably her chief concern. If you do become pregnant and cannot support yourself and a baby, to include housing, that may out a strain on your mothers relationship, which could result in you getting tossed out of the house.
2 words of advisement: birth control. If ur going to be sexually active u need to go on the pill. A condom isn’t good enough protection.
Tell her if you want, but it is your life and you are an adult. If you want to get on the pill, get on the pill yourself.
I would never have dreamed of discussing my sex life or standard (non-emergency) medical stuff with my parents, but that is just me — I never had that kind of relationship with my parents. Even thinking about telling them about my sex life just makes me cringe, lol.
That is good that you used protection. In my opinion……Only a condom is not enough.
>>#Recommend also getting on a 2nd form of birth control too.
If you are in the US then go to Planned Parenthood.
OR schedule your own DR’s appt.
The failure rate of just using condoms alone is too high to risk it
Are you 19 or 14??? “All the way” “never gone that far”
You are an adult and don’t have to tell your mom anything. Although it seems like she would not be upset about it and would help you get on birth control. But regardless of whether you tell her or not you should go to the gynecologist and get some sort of birth control. Pills, IUD, Nexplanon… something You keep commenting that you’ve done research and yet you are relying on condoms. Which are better than nothing and should still be used, but they are not 100% effective
You should back up your birth control with a second method. Sometimes condoms do fail, and I don’t want to be alarmist but it’s also possible for them to be tampered with.
You are 19, so you are an adult. Go to a clinic or doctor and get yourself on birth control. There are a lot of options nowadays, do some research on what might be suitable for you.
As an older father, please don’t be so flippant about a baby. What you think you know, you don’t, not until you have one. We make a good income, and have a well established support network of family, and still it was and still continues to be faaar more difficult and expensive beyond what I could have imagined.
Parenthood has both strengthened and put immense strain on the relationship between my wife and I, and that’s a bond built on near 20 years together.
I am not trying to say that you would be a bad parent, nor that having a child with your partner is a bad idea. I am just asking you to consider the heavy burden of the responsibilities of parenthood seriously.
DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH TOUR MOTHER.
BECAUSE IT’S NOT ABOUT COMMUNICATION IT’S ABOUT RESPECT AND SHE HAS NONE FOR YOU.
GROW A SPINE. IT’S NONE OF HER BUSINESS.
SHE IS PROJECTING HER LACK OF IMPULSE CONTROL ONTO YOU.
Speak to your mother for sure. I only wanted one kid.. I have 3 now. As your mother is saying accidents happen. The major difference between you and me is, I am with my wife for almost a decade while having a more than stable income to carry the burden of housing feeding clothing etc everyone including my wife so she can watch the children. A child isn’t something to take lightly and say “oh yeah he will take care of it”. You don’t know that at all, also I doubt either of you have a clue of the cost involved, to give you a rough idea, my children have so far cost me over 150k and the oldest is just 5