CONTEXT: My bf (31) and I (24) met while travelling last October before we both returned to our home countries in april (within europe) The plan is to go back to our travels in September. We are both working in hospitality and see each other 1-2x a month. When we are together irl he tells me how afraid he is of losing me cus hes never loved like this before and that Im his main motivation to work so hard, all he wants is to be together indefinitely
The problem is since April he sometimes goes a whole two days without answering me and doesn’t feel the need to check in on me or share stuff about his day w me. I tried to bring this up for him and he cant seem to understand. The month of July is particularly tricky cus theres a festival in his town so ik hes working like 12 hours a day and I get that cause Im also pulling 50-60 hours a week but the other day we (finally) had a call and he kept bragging to me how much his customers (hes a waiter) love him and how he has a glass of wine with them every night and after every shift he goes out with his team (his “family) until 4am This genuinely shattered me because he has time for these strangers and his coworkers but sometimes wont reply to me for two days so much so that I feel too embarrassed to ask him how hes doing bc ik he wont reply for a looong time and I see hes active. It makes me feel needy and pathetic. Feels like he values their attention more than mine.I tried to explain this to him in a voice msg yesterday and all he said was “maybe im not good for you” I’m pretty sick of this drama and I dont know what to do.. i love him so much but I’m not happy… am i being unreasonable?
TLDR: met while travelling, started an intense and beautiful relationship, willing to do long distance for 5 months so we can be together again and travel but since we came back bf is more and more distant and chooses to spend any free time he has with other people
Comments
Yes. Yes you should call it quits with your bf who doesn’t make time for you and says things like, “Maybe I’m not good for you.”
This is easy. No brainer. You can do better. He’s just not that in to you.
This isn’t an insult. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out, but you really need to stand up and decide what you want for yourself because there is someone out there who will treat you the way you want and you aren’t going to meet that person if you’re wasting your time with someone who clearly doesn’t want to be him.