There’s a girl that started at the company I’m at a couple months ago that’s the same age as me. She’s generally on the shy/quieter side, but she has gotten pretty comfortable with the group of people I regularly hang out with at work and has become a part of our group. She has invited us out to things outside of work, and most of the group as attended so we’ve seen each other often in group settings. I feel like I’ve tried being a bit flirty/goofy when I’ve texted her and seen her in person, but I can’t get a read on her and if she’s picked on any of it up.
I wanted to try and set up a 1 on 1 hangout that isn’t a date so I could see if we get along when hanging out without the group, because every invite so far has been to everyone to hang. I gave a couple days noticed and asked if she wanted to join me at the farmers market. She gave me a tentative yes cause she likes the farmers market, but was going out drinking with friends the night before so she wouldn’t know if she’d feel well enough to go the next morning. I followed up with her the night of, and she said “I can’t make it, maybe another weekend.” It’s been a couple weeks since then, and I’m debating if I should try again or just leave it be. She didn’t offer another weekend to do it so I’m falling towards the idea that she isn’t interested. What do yall think?
TL;DR – I’m trying to decide on whether I should try to set up a 1 on 1 with my coworker again or just leave it alone
Comments
for me personally, work is too fraught a situation to even risk crossing the boundary. If she’s interested, the onus is on her now.
give it a little more time with group hangs. being flirted with or asked out at work when you’re not into it can be really uncomfortable as a woman. hang out and get to know each other more as friends and in groups and see if something blossoms and if you can tell her vibes. if you ask early and directly, and she’s not into you that way, it’s going to impact your future friendship/work relationship