Should I (26F) move in with my boyfriend (25M)?

r/

TL;DR: I’m trying to outweigh the pros and cons of moving in with my boyfriend or just go for it and face the consequences of it later.

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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we already don’t spend much time with each other because he has work and I have school and work, so our schedules don’t align. We also live pretty far apart, so it’s not so easy for us to see each other over the week after our shifts are over because we both work early mornings.

I still live with my parents, who have been pretty strict and still continue to insist on their rules being implemented (regular check-ins when I’m out with my boyfriend, curfews, no sleeping over at his place). I still get side eyes and judgmental stares from my parents if I spend the whole day with my boyfriend. I’ve been wanting to move out for a couple years now, but my finances don’t really allow for it.

My boyfriend lives pretty much independently in a separate house on his parents’ property, but pays rent, makes his own living, taking care of himself, things like that. We’ve had talks about moving in together before, but I always feel like it’s too soon for us to move in together, but lately, I’ve been leaning more towards living with him than staying in my own home situation and other conveniences.

I’ll be spending more time with my boyfriend, getting to know him more, maybe even seeing this as compatibility for marriage. There’s also more job opportunities around his area and the school I’m attending is literally only 5 minutes driving distance away than the 30 minutes from my house.

As convenient as it might be for my freedom, privacy, financial situation (I’d still be paying his parents rent and it would be lower than the cost of a studio apartment in the city), and growth in my relationship, I’m still not feeling so certain about this, only because my boyfriend and I hardly see each other much anyway. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m excited to spend more time with my boyfriend and have my own freedom for once, but on the other, I’m nervous about the possibilities that lie ahead for me and him, and the possibility of the relationship with my parents falling apart.

Comments

  1. Brutally_honest_peep Avatar

    I wouldn’t risk it. What happens if you break up? Where would you be able to go?

    You should definitely learn to live alone before living with another person.

    Maybe see if there are all female dorm places looking for roommates.