Heyy! Looking for advice
I 23F been dating this guy 26M for a few months and the relationship is still new. I am the type of person who overall know what they want in a relationship, although i still feel like i’m still navigating sometimes. And for me, he checks many boxes in terms of what im looking for in a guy. He’s good looking, and im attracted to him. He’s a really nice, sweet and honest guy. He’s also responsible, studies hard and is setting himself for a good career (and so am i, or at least im trying lol). And most importantly he seems to like me a lot, and he’s serious about getting into a relationship with me, is already planning things around so we can be together for the next months/ even years etc (because both of us live abroad, and will hopefully finish our higher education quite soon and so kind of making plans around moving cities or countries, what career we’ll do but nothing is for sure yet obviously). I don’t know if the fact that he doesn’t have that much dating experience as i do, but i’ve rarely met someone who’s that into me so soon and is set about making things work. I’ve never been in a super long relationship either, but i’ve dated around a lot more than him.
Initially we had some disagreements over some things, like how to plan dates, what should each of us do. He’s also not experienced in bed at all. But the good thing is discovered is that he listens and takes to heart what i tell him. Or at least works around compromises of we dont agree 100%.
Now i know this all might look perfect, but, i have some problems or reservations for the following reasons. First of all, i dont feel like i have a big crush or butterflies when im around him, i like him and i do genuinely care about him, i also like the time we spend together. But for now i have nothing crazy in terms of feelings. I don’t know if this plays a part on this fact, but in our initial dating phase we’ve had some disagreements like i said or small fights. He has the habit of saying stuff that just bothers me. And in a lot of situations we’ve had i wish he’d not saying anything to not ruin the good time we’re having. For example i’ve been to his place two times now, we watch movies together and i prepare something to eat. By the end of the day while going home he told me that we also should start hanging out at mine because he doesn’t want to be the one planning all the time. Ofc i dont mind, but it rubs me off. Because, 1 he makes is it seems as if i didn’t contribute to anything while i did 2 this is so first time that a guy is just set on and is direct about coming to my own house, in my past experiences when the guy likes me enough he doesnt mind me hanging around at his as much as i want to unless i ask him to come to mine, 3 he’s a good planner but makes it look like he doesn’t want to do it all the time, while personally i prefer a guy who leads and chooses stuff with my contribution ofc. This is an example i gave to get an idea of what we disagree about, but it’s not just that, sometimes it’s around me going somewhere but for him that it’s overpriced. Or for him to not spend too much money and go less to restaurants which is understandable cause we’re both students. We reach compromises most of the time tbh. But those disagreements are irritating me, and i dont know if it’s because of those that i cant develop too much feelings for him. Also surprisingly i’m having a bit of trouble to commit to him. I dont know how to explain it, but when someone else gives me attention (which i dont reciprocate ofc) a part of me starts wondering if i’m missing out on some things, or what i wouldve done if i was single. Which is something i never had a problem with in my life.
Im writing all of this so that people can give me advice. He’s a really good person that i know i can have a good future with, but i feel like something is off or missing. I’m catching myself wondering if it’s worth it to choose him , given how shitty the dating scene is and how he has many good things over many guys i dated. Or if i should end it and look elsewhere. I’ve communicated with him that i want to take the relationship slowly and that i still have some reservations so he’s not blindsided.
TLDR: i’ve been seeing this guy for a few months. He’s a good person and i care about him but i feel like something is off or missing, and that we also have to discuss or argue to arrive to compromises instead of having things flowing. Is it worth it?
Thanks in advance