Am I the bad guy because I am thinking of divorcing my husband after 5 years of marriage after I found out that he was leading a double life here on the platform and created a porn blog where he left hundreds of dozens of comments every day under porn pictures of women and even posted his hard dick constantly and also posted porn pictures.
My husband and I have had a mutual kink for years that we turn each other on with porn and I am very open. We have also had threesomes with other people and are open with our sexuality in general. I’m not prude in any way, but he has secretly kept this profile throughout our entire (!) marriage and has been online constantly, has written to others and, according to him, has had several hundred chats in all that time without me noticing.
I feel hurt, betrayed, lied to and cheated on and I don’t know if I can ever trust him again.
It was only after I discovered the profile that he claimed he had an addiction problem and needed help. That was never an issue before. He deleted the profile immediately, but I can’t control him permanently and constantly now.
Even when I was pregnant with our daughter and he was in the CTG room with me, he wrote there, exchanged photos and chatted.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
Comments
sounds like you like piña coladas
If you come to Reddit to ask random people about whether you should divorce you’re either a troll or overdue with said divorce
You’re not the bad guy you’re hurt because he betrayed your trust, not because of the kink. It’s not about porn, it’s about years of secrecy and lies. If you can’t rebuild trust, choosing peace isn’t selfish it’s necessary.
you deserve better than someone who can’t even be real with you
Perhaps his kink is pretending to have a secret side hustle, it’s more common that one would think – at least in my experience
This is a massive betrayal, I always ask, if it wasn’t a problem why did he hide it?
The secret and the lies that he told to cover it up are you free problem not the porn it’s self. The chats are wildly inappropriate and the dick pics are cheating. When he was on his phone at the hospital what lies the he tell you?
An unhealthy relationship with porn does not automatically equal a porn addiction.
It is your choice all ok can advise is that trust is essential in any marriage.
I’m so very sorry this happened to you, OP.
Honestly, only you know whether it is the right move for you to divorce him or not. If it were me, I’d be done for sure if my wife was doing this but again, only you can truly make this call.
You’re not wrong for feeling betrayed. This wasn’t just about kink it was deception. If trust feels broken beyond repair it’s okay to choose yourself
I say this constantly, if you open that can of worms you cannot put the genie back in the bottle. You just said you both have an open sexual life. It was a matter of time before it peaked into embarrassment. Its like a drug, you have a threesome here, some kink porn there, now you need more to get that same euphoria you had in the beginning.
My only advice is to set ground rules and try to establish trust again, but its both of you guys fault for having such an open sexual marriage. For better or for worse you need to help him rope in that beast and tame his flesh. Or be a btch and leave when times get tough and you “FELT” like you got cheated on.
You know better than anyone in this world about your relationship. Take your time and analyse in detail how is your life with his presence barring this betrayal why does he maintain privacy even after you being open minded is that something which he doesn’t want you get hurt or his nature of living and take a wise decision after all the possible outcomes you need to face. All the best.