I (F18) have recently been second guessing my relationship with my Boyfriend (M18) I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or overreacting but here is a bulleted list of some things that have been making me doubt our relationship as of lately.
• He had me unfollow every guy on social media but keeps girls on his, when I tried to bring it up he said he “didn’t want to talk about it”
• He didn’t buy me a birthday gift yet he had been talking to me about how my birthday was coming up soon for months (I was out of town but still I personally feel like you could still give someone a gift even if it’s not their birthday anymore)
•One day he randomly decided he didn’t want to keep his location on for me anymore (claims he doesn’t have it on for anyone anymore and he said he just doesn’t want anyone having it) when I told him I thought it was odd he told me I could turn mine off too and it wouldn’t bother him
• He got upset at me because a guy had texted me (I didn’t even reply or see the message yet at all he saw the notification on my phone)
These are just a couple of things I will come back and edit if I can think of more but just from these few things tell me what you guys think please.
Comments
I don’t know why young guys think it’s okay to be so controlling, as an adult I wouldn’t put up with that at all.
If you have to ask, yes. Love does a lot but creating doubt isn’t one of those things. Also controlling. You’re too young to be doing struggle romance
Drop him like a morning turd.
His desire for control is a crimson flag.
He is controlling you need to set boundaries and if he cannot accept them dump him for your own safety and well-being
Super controlling, and very shady too. Everything you’re describing is abusive behavior.
The unfollow thing was pretty f-d up. No one asks their significant others to do that. Let alone have it be a double standard.
I also highly doubt if you turned your location off from him, he would be fine with it.
No sane boyfriend would forget to give you a gift for your birthday. Doesn’t matter where you are, or if it’s passed.
I bet you have a whole list of this garbage that other people would have broken up with on the second bullet point.
If you were thinking about breaking up with him, then all of the replies that you’ll read here will definitely support it.
I stopped at the first “bullet.”
Break up with him.
He’s controlling and dangerous.
Dump him. He sounds shitty. You don’t need a reason. If you aren’t happy and he’s not pulling his weight, end it.
Please leave him. U are so young for this.
As someone who was in the man’s shoes as a young lad, he’s got a LOT of maturing to do. If you’re worried about him and that’s the reason you haven’t yet, just do it. He needs to learn sooner or later that this is inappropriate, one sided, childish behavior, which leaving his ass will do hopefully!
Break up with him
Dump him!
It’s the hypocrisy that annoys me.
Why you asking us though?
You’re gonna do what all females do.
Resent him and look around until you find something better, then dump his ass.
And thus the world goes round.
Find someone who wants to buy you birthday gifts, isn’t monitoring you like government surveillance and isn’t snooping on your phone. You are an adult now. Time to be free.
Break up immediately he’s controlling af!
He is immature and not bf material
Leave him
Sound like a red piller… slowly fade off and leave.
If you can delete every guy off Instagram that’s loyalty. If he can’t appreciate loyalty as a male..not even as a man but a male then he has poor character unless you cheated on him in the past. Usually guys fall for a loyal girl. He must not be a loyal person.
BREAKUP BREAKUP BREAKUP BREAKUP
BREAKUP…. GIRL, BREAKUP TONIGHT!!!! If I was your friend I would do it for you
If this is how he acts now just imagine how much worse he will get if you stay with him. I could sit here and nitpick all the things you said but trust me, I know a cheater when I smell one. Burn this bridge and don’t build another until you understand none of this behavior is acceptable under any circumstances.
I hope you never have to ask reddit if the obviously unwell guy is worth being with ever again.
You’re 18, don’t waste another second of your life on a guy like this
Listen to your gut. If you are second guessing your relationship, move on.
Honestly, he has no right to dictate who your friends are, in person or online. He should have given you a BD gift, being out of town doesn’t mean he gets to ignore you special day. Turning off location services is a red flag.
You are too young to put up with this BS. You deserve better.
Yes immediately
HA! didn’t even read your entire reason. Your first reason is reason enough. Boy bye!!!
Run
Definitely leave , he sound like a narcissist
Girl, run.
Look up the Power and Control wheel. If you see those red flags, don’t continue. Honestly, I’d advise you to not even get in a relationship with someone if you’re friends for a while and notice those red flags. I’m divorcing someone right now who did half of those fairly regularly and it took such a mental toll that I got diagnosed with PTSD (mainly cause something he did that made us leave). It’s. Not. Worth. It. Got kids from it, kids are great, the guy is not.
B’bye
I mean, the first one is enough. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who controls you. Relationships are equal. He’s not your dad and he’s not your boss. He’s your partner. You should break up. You won’t even remember him in a year.
Trust me.
He’s controlling and you shouldn’t be with him. It’s his loss
First bullet is enough to see that he’s controlling and does not respect you. Yes, you should end things with him and learn to respect yourself as you are.
Controlling. These guys have to potential to be violent and abusive as the relationship progresses. They get worse not better. You should be scared. Don’t ignore these very red flags.
So many things wrong here. Secretive. Possessive. Double-Standard. Dishonest? Time to wind this relationship down.
If you make a post about your boyfriend that includes the title “urgent! Please help!” you need to leave. 🙁 you deserve to feel safe.
ETA: not all of this post is weird or severe but enough of it is
Yes. End it.
Yes. End it. He is too controlling, jealous, insecure, manipulative and secretive.
This is the situation you hear about that ends horribly. Get. Out.
I’m 19 years older than you. I’ve been married for 17 years – that’s almost your whole life. I had a five year, and a one year relationship prior to my marriage. I’ve seen a thing or two.
BREAK UP WITH HIM THIS MOMENT. DO NOT FIGHT ABOUT IT, DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT, DO NOT SECOND GUESS IT FOR A SECOND.
Do it, and don’t ever look back.
Drop him he is controlling and immature. Likely he is projecting his cheater mentality. You deserve better
Getting a boyfriend is supposed to be distinct from having a boss or a master. You guys are supposed to be friends. Do things together. Not hide from the world
lol first bullet, he’s toast
One sided stories are the best! And what would his complaints be about you? At 18, relationships are not worth second guessing. End it. Go find something you like.
Oh honey its definitely time to go before he cheats or gets more controlling. Please get out while you can
For the love of God why do you young women put up with controlling disrespectful man child’s? Do not unfollow your male friends on social media because he told you to! Stand up for yourself please 🙏. Yes break up with him.
Please leave. This type of behavior is so concerning and there’s a good chance it may get worse. He’s abusive.
If that’s how it starts… just imagine how it will end… get out while you still have the chance to run. Do not be afraid to be alone, in the end it will be better to be for yourself than to be trained for some asshat of a “man”. Live for you, no one else. The sooner you live by that, the happier and more free you will be.
Yes dump him! And next time someone tries to control your friends or follows, dump them straight away. And don’t do location sharing worth random boyfriends.
This is a boy… not a man. Break up ASAP and talk yo whoever you want!
girl…
Just by reading the first poitn i know he is a hugeeeeee red flag
I think you should end things with your boyfriend. I think you can find other fish in the sea who aren’t so possessive, controlling, and hypocritical.
He sounds wet behind the ears ,you could do much better to move on from this kid. He is too young and controlling. And any one who doesn’t buy a gift for his GF is a bum to me. Refrend all those fellas and walk…👊
You already have the answer, leave him asap if you do not want a miserable life
Break up with him immediately EEW!!!! He doesn’t even seem nice. You’re too young for someone to be so controlling!!!
He has no right to tell you what you can and can’t do. get rid of this guy, end it. and don’t be dramatic about it just end it.
Often times the reason they don’t trust you is because they themselves are cheating. You are so young, try again and you will find a better guy! I know it is hard though. You deserve the best, and this can be a learning experience.
Dump him
Break up…for sure. Trust your gut.
If a guy is even the slightest bit controlling, manipulative, or insecure, I promise it’ll only get worse
Sounds like he’s getting some side ass and controlling you so he doesn’t have karma bite down.
If you’re thinking about breaking off a relationship, it means you’re not in it anymore. It’s a process but this is the first step. People who are in fulfilling relationships don’t contemplate ending it.
You know the answer already. Find someone else who isn’t controlling and manipulative.
>You should leave him. When men act like this, it usually comes down to a few reasons: they are super controlling, insecure, or cheating, and the subconscious guilt ends up being pushed onto the woman. He is probably liking other women’s posts or DMing them, so he worries about you doing the same. If he is not doing anything wrong, there is no reason for the location he has been sharing with you to suddenly be turned off.
>And honestly, if you want to play with his mind for being an absolute jerk, turn your location off too and make sure he knows you did it. The fact that he got you nothing for your birthday is inexcusable. When you are dating someone, it is just an unspoken rule that birthday gifts should be given. It does not matter if it is big or small; flowers would have been the bare minimum. At least that would have shown he cares. Also if he truley cared about you he would have done something as a belated gesture, like taking you out to dinner when you returned.
>But he did not, and that tells you everything. Leave him and do not shed a single tear over that man. He is hunting for another woman, and when he finds her, he will leave without caring one bit about your feelings. Spare yourself now.
Definitely end it. This has all giant red flags of a narcissistic, controlling, uncaring creep. Run far and fast because if you stay it will only get worse. You deserve happiness.
RUN.
that is controlling af and for him to have double standards about what you can do vs what he can is beyond sickening.
its a nope after the first reason. Don’t EVER let a guy do that to you. 🚩🚩🚩
Save yourself the trouble and just end it. There are so many girls your age that put up with that for years and it tears them down. You deserve better.
He sounds very controlling. That should be a warning sign to you. .
At the very first bullet I said NOPE BYE to him. You are smart to realize these things are bad. They are all really bad. Definitely break up with him. Make sure you’re safe.
Why don’t you make a powerpoint style presentation of his good and bad traits. present it to him, and see what he says about the situation.
I think he is a controlling idiot who doesn’t want you to have any say in what he wants to do but he is to have all the say on what you do.
Don’t waste your youth on crap like this .