I want to make this post super quick because i need genuine advice. So last night me and my boyfriend were in bed together and i was FREEZING. (we were both naked) A blanket wasn’t helping so i decided to get dressed into joggers a knitted jersey and socks. He kept complaining about not wanting to cuddle me because he didn’t want to feel the clothes and then he tried to ask for a compromise. Have 2 blankets on which he usually hates me doing but be naked. I obviously said no because what’s that going to do and when he said why not i told him i’d rather prioritise myself and my warmth than him and he called me a narcissist? I don’t get it i was freezing so i got dressed why can’t he respect that?
should i feel bad for not taking my clothes off?
r/Advice
Comments
Calling you a narcissist for choosing warmth over discomfort is manipulative, your body isn’t a battleground for someone else’s comfort. You have every right to protect yourself, and anyone who loves you should respect that without turning it into a guilt trip.
No you’re absolutely not wrong. Your boyfriend needs to learn about consent and free will (or something like that) I think. It was extremely toxic of him to call you a “narcissist” after that. I hope you have a conversation about this with him. Take care!
Edit: after thinking about it, he doesn’t seem like a good person at all. He’s toxic and manipulative.
No, you shouldn’t. Reevaluate your relationship
That’s just one of the therapy buzzwords people throw around incorrectly these days. He doesn’t understand what he’s saying and it’s not narcissistic. He’s the selfish one for insisting you be uncomfortable for his pleasure.
You were freezing, wanting to stay warm isn’t selfish its just common sense.
“He always makes me feel in the wrong” ….girl….come on. He’s a walking red flag. This guy sees you as a tool for himself.
He was trying to prioritize his want over your need. You don’t need to feel bad.
Your boyfriend got pissy because you were cold and out on sweat pants….
You mush be teenagers that’s ridiculous lol
Turn the heat up?
Think about this: He gave you shit and called you a narcissist because you wouldn’t lay naked in bed with him when you were cold. In what way is this a good guy as you say?
Yeah he’s a sweetheart that makes everything about him and makes you feel like you’re making bad choices.
You will never change him. Leave.
This is just the beginning of his manipulation. It won’t end there. Get out now. Starts out sweet all the time and before you realize it you’re trapped. Get out.
Time to find a new boyfriend
How was being clothed making you more warm than naked bodies together? It’s been proven the latter makes one warmer.
He’s showing you red flag right now, don’t be the cautionary tale where men will tell that you should’ve “picked better”.
Honestly I can see why he would be upset, especially if this was a ground rule from inception.
They are two types of people, those who sleep naked and those who prefer to be clothed.
The calling you a narcissist is going a bit too far and out of pocket.
Having said that what is your agreed nightly routine every couple has them and it is normally stated upfront.
It sounds like your bf is the narcissist. Or simply the man child that wants his way and throws a strop when he doesn’t get it.
You did the right thing. But you shouldn’t tolerate him constantly making you feel bad.
He’s an idiot, that’s why
I love when my bf sleeps without a shirt but sometimes hes not comfortable doing it, I just let him do what he wants because his comfortability matters more than my wants
You are not a narcissist, but also TWO blankets would help…..
I just think you putting clothes on in bed is a weird solution TBH?
What do you mean
>”i Obviously said, no as whats that going to do?”
i guess it depends on the type/thickness of the blanket?
Also shared body heat gets you warm pretty quick?
Your body your choice. Case closed.
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend