My oldest brother went no contact with me when I was 15.
Our relationship from early childhood was always distant- he is five years my elder. He ald severe anger issues and violent tendencies. I was his punching bag- literally. I went to school with bruises and the office often called my mom worried.
Fast forward to 15 when he decides to go to college, he stopped talking to everyone except for my mother and my other brother (3 years older) I guess deciding that the trauma he and my alcoholic mother caused me turned me into a person he didn’t want to include in his new life.
At 20 I dabbled in drugs. A boyfriend introduced me to them and it became self medication.
I got arrested immediately and the next 5 years became heavily addicted lifestyle in and out of jail and rehab.
The last 3 month stint I made I decided as I was being transported that I WAS DONE. And I was. Never looked back (7 years ago this August)
I’ve worked. Stopped working to take care of my grandmother who became dementia riddled for 3 years (passed on) Gone back to work, gone to school. Got my class a. Bought a truck. Started a business. Bought a home. Sold that home. Bought 15 acres now building a cabin.
My family all has their own problems.
But still see me as the drug addict I was for five years in my 20s.
They say nasty things about me.
I’m always to blame for anything.
Ranging from the door being left open, to their personal problems, anything broken- she must have done it. The internet not working, oh she was visiting yesterday it was her. Just crazy things. And they don’t hear how crazy they sound.
I feel like I’m held back by them. That they put me in a box and try to make me feel less than. They belittle my accomplishments and no matter what good I do- I’m still a. Drug addict that belongs in jail for life. (Mind you my charges were victimless- petty possession or violation of probation for dirty urines)
I really think it’s time to just go no contact. I honestly don’t know the person I was in my 20s so to be referred to as her is so frustrating and really unproductive. I don’t think they will ever change or take accountability for their own crap.
Comments
You’ve fought hard to become the person you are now and that version of you deserves peace, respect, and recognition. If your family only sees the past and refuses to acknowledge your growth, it’s okay to protect your peace by stepping away. Going no contact isn’t about punishment it’s about choosing yourself when others won’t. You’re not that person anymore, and you don’t have to keep proving it to people who’ve already decided not to see you.
Yeah, go no contact. You’ve done the work, changed your whole life, and they’re still stuck on the past version of you because it’s easier than looking at themselves. You don’t owe anyone access to your peace just because you share DNA. Block, mute, heal, thrive.