Should I go no contact with some of my family members?

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Is it time to stop trying with family who clearly don’t care? Hi, I am reaching out to reddit to see if going no contact with some of my family members is a good idea or not. I am a 24f and I have had a complicated history with my dad’s side of the family, specifically my grandma and my aunt. When I was younger everything was great between us, but lots has happened in the past five years. My half brother passed away a few years ago in an accident. He was the son of my dad and his ex-wife. Years ago, their breakup was a little messy and my grandma and aunt took the side of my dad’s ex-wife. Yet, they never asked my dad his side of the story or if he was ok throughout all of it. Even after my dad remarried my mom, my grandma would keep photos of his ex-wife framed throughout her house. When my brother passed away, my gradma and aunt immediately went to my dad’s ex-wife to comfort her and never reached out to my dad. At the funeral they sat with her and didn’t come up to me or my parents. This whole situation was extremely hurtful and the past couple years I have struggled with maintaining contact with them. Especially since they don’t talk to either of my parents much and hardly reach out to me.

This year my grandpa passed away. His health had been declining over the past year and my parents were the only ones that were taking care of him: taking days off of work to take him to his doctor’s appointments and putting him in a nursing home. It was very emotionally and financially difficult. My grandma and aunt did not support my dad in any way, nor did they help my grandpa with anything. (my grandma and grandpa have been divorced since before I was born but were supposedly on good terms) In fact, my aunt actually texted my dad in their sibling group chat that she wouldn’t do anything to help bc she “can’t handle it”. There was no funeral but there was a mass/service and my dad chose not to go because he didn’t want to see his mom and sister. He had also been with my grandpa every day before he passed away and had already said his goodbyes. My mom went to the services and my dad’s side of the family didn’t even acknowledge her even though she did so much for my grandpa.

I’m an adult now and I thought I could be able to continue our family relationship, but everything they have done makes me not want to do it anymore. I bring hommemade christmas cookies to their homes during the holidays and used to try to call my grandma often (although every conversation is about her and she never asks me about my life or how im doing) They dont invite us to any family gatherings that we all used to go to. It just hurts too much to continue to push aside their horrible behavior. TLDR, my grandma and aunt have treated me and my family badly. Should I go no contact with them?

Comments

  1. AsusPrimeM Avatar

    Wow… siento mucho todo lo que has tenido que pasar. Se nota que te duele y que has tratado de mantener esa relación a pesar de todo. Has sido paciente, atenta, has tenido gestos bonitos como llevarles galletas, llamarlas… y aun así, lo único que recibes es frialdad o indiferencia.

    La verdad, no estás exagerando ni siendo mala por pensar en cortar el contacto. A veces, incluso con la familia, toca aceptar que no todos merecen un lugar cercano en nuestra vida. Duele, sí, pero también cansa seguir dando cariño donde no se cuida ni se valora.

    Tu paz mental, tu bienestar y tu corazón importan. Si seguir en contacto solo te lastima, alejarte no es egoísmo. Es amor propio. Es ponerle un alto al dolor que otros no se han preocupado por evitarte.

    No estás sola en esto, y está bien elegirte a tí