Im 21 and a virgin. Brothels are legal where I am.
I wont lie the main reason i want to do this is because of lust. I dont really care much about ‘losing my virginity’ so much as just wanting to know what it feels like to have sex.
Im also not looking for intimacy as I know you cant buy that stuff with money. For context ive previously dated someone for 2 years (never did the deed for reasons), and since breaking up im in no rush to get back into an intimate relationship with someone. I am however alittle horny and want to experience something new.
With how sex work is viewed though (even though its legal here), i am hesitant to go ahead with it. Would appreciate thoughts or experiences on this.
thanks
Comments
… but if you get addicted, it can ruin your life — and deeply affect your future partner too.
No, don’t.
If sex work is legal, and if the sex workers are their on their own free will, then I feel it is a cultural religious prohibition in the west. If you are okay with it, go ahead.
How much does a brothel visit cost?
Place that amount of money on your head
Wank
Check your head – you still have that money
My answer will most likely not be very satisfactory but it depends.
The ethical problem with brothels usually stems from the context within which they are operated. Sex work, and consequently brothels can easily become a breeding ground for exploitation and unsanitary practices. In some places, the legal system can turn a blind eye to this as well.
I personally would feel extremely uncomfortable if I contribute to a vicious cycle of exploitation and dehumanization.
However, if these are not an issue where you live or the particular brothel you are planning to visit, I don’t think there is any rational reason to feel bad about it. At the core you would be purchasing a service from a professional who offers it consensually. It might even be a very smart thing to do. You would experience sex in a safe environment, with guidance from a professional.
You need to make sure that it’s you in control of your urges in the long run and not the other way around. It’s usually very rare that you get addicted to something in the first go.
No
No, don’t. You are quite young still and I’m quite sure you’d regret it later in life.
I’ll go against the grain on this one. Find someone you like. Go visit her. Find out it’s not that big a deal as you’ve imagined in your head and move one.
It’s also far more common thing to occur than you might imagine. The escort sees clients like you almost every week.
Get laid and move on and focus on different goals. Might even give you some confidence
The cravings for sex are different once you e had the real thing.
Do not recommend.
Pour your energy into building your life and building friendships. The sex will get there in due time.
It sounds like you want to but are worried about what other people will think. You do you my man
I think it will be a big waste of money that will leave you feeling hollow and worse than before.
Do you have something that actually prevents you from meeting an IRL woman?
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Don’t think about it, just go for it and spend some money for your pleasure 😉
You are sad
Just do it, I tell you from experience that you will enjoy it, but will be a bit “meh” after the deed is done. Then, once you have healed from your previous relationship, and you get into a good relationship, you’ll really appreciate how much better sex with intimacy is.
Buy a Fleshlight.
It’s up to you but personally it’s not something I would do….but again that a personal call we can’t speak to your personal opinions and concerns.
I don’t think this is the best option.
Also you could catch a disease there so be careful!
I get virginity isn’t a big deal to you, but I lost mine aged 19 to a one night stand and I regretted it big time when I met my first girlfriend (who was a virgin) a couple years later. It’s not just where you’re at now, it’s where your mind may be in a few years that you need to think about.
Where you at? Asking for a friend
Hi, former SW, so I’ll chime in. If you’re very sure you’re not concerned with intimacy and just want to know what sex is like this is probably going to be fine, but you are very much just going to get the mechanics of sex, which can feel great if you’re with someone who’s there to make sure you’re having a good time. There are positive benefits to sex even without an emotional connection; endorphins, stress relief, practice. I just want you to know that it’s not going to be an earth shattering or life changing experience, it’s going to be an interesting activity that will feel great in the moment and probably a bit meh after. Use protection.
No, most prostitutes are sex trafficked. So you’d be paying for that, and contributing to a horrible practice.
OP, Ik how you feel and you’re saying that you don’t care about intimacy and all that. Eventually though you will, don’t go to a brothel. It’s a waste of money and I promise you you’ll regret it. Using up all your lust and energy on this is gonna drain you mentally and physically, and it would instead be better spent if you worked on other things in life, like going to the gym or pursuing a hobby or other career. Trust me man, resist the temptation. The harder it is to do, the more you need to do it.
Who are we to tell you how to spend your hard earned money?
No, don’t
>With how sex work is viewed though
Just don’t tell anyone you went.
I would.
Sex with a prostitute can be very soulless, it’s just a business transaction to them, so there’s no emotional attachment.
Bear in mind, you are going to remember the first time you have sex for the rest of your life, so maybe make it something a bit better.
My first time (40 odd years ago at this stage) i still remember well, but i mostly remember the excitement leading up to it, and the cuddles after (we were both a bit crap at the actual sex bit), but it was fun and i have no regrets.
I have no issues with sex workers, or availing of their services, but maybe not for the first time, but that’s just me.
I’m going to say yes, but explain why:
An old friend of mines, who is now a 40-year-old virgin, has had these notions of love and sex like it was from a Disney movie. In college there was a girl who was practically throwing herself at him but he was too oblivious to see the signs (they were even “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” and she invited him to sleep in her bed…he did but did not touch her and her roommate who we are all friends with, left the room to give them some time – but he never acted).
If only to not see you in the same situation he’s in I believe now, please go do it. Scratch that itch. He thought it was beneath him, I prefer people get it out of the way so they can see that sex, love and all that jazz isn’t like in a fairytale.
Now, sex WITH intimacy is the best; sex without it is good but nothing tops doing it with someone who WANTS to do it with you (for free at that!). It’s definitely NOT the same.
That being stated, if you don’t have any hang-ups about it, just do it. It’ll feel bland after, but having done it before “just to see what it was like” is just something you can cross off your bucket list (or continue doing, if you want). You don’t have to tell anyone you did it, that’s just for you.
I’d say even if it is legal I would first do some research into what it means for a brothel to be legal in your country. For example in Germany brothels regulated in a manner similar to (or even stricter than) restaurants in other countries; they must obtain a license which is then maintained by passing a variety of annual or biannual inspections. The working prostitutes themselves must also be registered with the government and are subject to rules to maintain/renew that registration.
Countries where sex work is explicitly legalized often have, or are atleast in the process of creating ,laws that protect both the sex workers in the industry and their clients from exploitation. However this does NOT mean that the country doesn’t have any illegal or fraudulent brothels. If you end up being a client at such a place you might find yourself caught up in a raid or investigation.
Countries with legalized sex work differ from counties where sex work is simply not criminalized . While these countries may not have explicit laws against exchanging money for sex , but doing so through brothels may be a weird legal grey area. If your country does not require regulations on brothels you cannot really be sure of your own safety or of how the brothel is treating its workers.
Lastly there are countries where prostitution /operating brothels is almost explicitly illegal but due to culture, local political corruption and/or organized crime influence, authorities turn a blind eye to specific brothels. I’m guessing you are not in such a country, but if so any risks or ethical uncertainty mentioned in the previous 2 paragraphs exist and are 1000 times worse.
Tl;Dr: Even if it’s only to protect yourself, you should do some research into whether the brothel you plan to visit is illegal , and if so , what kind of protections does that guarantee for yourself and the sex worker you may end up sleeping with.
Definitely go
Buy a Fleshlight. Better than your hand, cheaper than a hooker.
Do it, it can be a good time and honestly I don’t know if it’s the fact that there’s no expectations on my part or their expertise but the few times I’ve done it they’ve made me cum so fast when in my regular sex life that’s more of a feat.
it sounds like you want the experience of sex the way a kid wants the experience of smoking. just to say you did it, just to find out if it will make you feel more like a man, more real, more finished.
sex bought is a product. like takeout sushi or a movie ticket. you pay, you consume, you leave. it fills you for a second and then you’re empty again.
that said, if its legal. and ethically run, go ahead and see how it goes.
Don’t fall in love.
Women deserve better than that. Don’t treat them that way even if they treat themselves.
If I were you I would. It’s just sex. But like others have said expect it to be disappointing and expect to feel a little gross after.
If you asked 21 year old me I would say hell yeah do it but if you ask 33 year old me I’d say you only get one first time make it special don’t waste it on a lady of the night
Go for it bro. In fact, go for a threesome. That would be epic
This reminds me of a funny ( and kinda embarrassing) story about me and my late dad.
When the drinking age went down to 18 ( in Alberta) he took myself and a couple of friends out for our first legal drink. One friend offers to go put more money in the parking meter and comes back to sadly report the car is no longer there.
Turns out my dad had parked in a rush hour No Parking zone and car was towed. Back then you had to go to the police station to recover it.
My dad, having had a few, walks up to the desk Sargent, talking about how we ( my friends and I ) have gone through an adult rite of passage.
He finishes it by saying ” back in MY day, the father would take his son to the local Madam and say ‘ I give you a boy, return me a man ‘.
I still remember how hard I wanted to sink under the floor lol.
>With how sex work is viewed though, i am hesitant to go ahead with it.
How do you view it? Because that’s all that matters. You don’t need to tell anyone else you’ve done it, it doesn’t go on your permanent record. It’s a you thing.
If it is legal and on the up and up, why not.
I think it’s good to get it out of your system.
When I was still a virgin I thought sex was this huge deal. I was thinking about it all the time. Once I had it I realized it wasn’t, and I was still thinking about it often it wasn’t taking over my thoughts anymore.
My perspective on things definitely changed.
I know a guy who did that and has regretted it to this day. Just make sure you think it through, as instead of it being with someone who you like and likes you back. You’re doing it with someone who just wants your money. If you’re okay with that, go ahead.
IMO It’s not worth it… You’re paying someone probably 4-800 bucks to ‘care’ about you, and when the money / time runs out, they run to the next dude…
Nah… find another girlfriend and let that come naturally.
Give yourself a nice wank for some post nut clarity
Do it. Like 40 year old virgin ” you got to knock out like 20-30 of these hoodrats then you ready”
Well I’d you want to be with great woman some day, you will have to tell her that, and that might be a deal breaker fot her
Hey bud, I wanted tell you that what you’re going through is valid. You’re young, give it a try for another year to find someone you connect with. You don’t get the first time back again. Sex is not always great, it is often awkward or messy and can be bit different. But its really great to feel it.
If you want to do this, don’t just visit a brothel. Find someone who is a proper sex worker, who can provide you a great first time. Do share details with them about this being your first time, don’t be afraid to tell them what you like and again, if you like what she is doing, do tell her that.
Communication is the key, verbal consent and verbally telling her what you like is important. Also make sure you enjoy it, don’t let the “performance” board hanging on your head. It will only lead to pressure.
Talking to them like a normal person and chitchatting helps build a connection and then you can let things flow…
I hope you have a good first time bud, and that you find someone with whom you can share this experience.
Yes.
do they offer GFE? girlfriend experience. Maybe first try that. make you feel confrotable
Yes
Go, tell the woman you are a virgin and have some fun.
She will treat you so good…./
Scrolled through the comments and saw a bunch about regret and first times.. etc.. The first time anyone has sex is only special if they make it that way or turn it into a big deal.. I barely remember my first time I was drunk on a couch and I was 15. Do I regret it? No. It made me realize that sex isn’t some holy grail type thing and I learned later how awesome sex is but that its not some special event where angels toot horns while you lay on rose petals.
No.
Someone you date in the future might not be comfortable that you have been to a brothel and that might be a deal breaker for them. Some people their partners more about their history. Some don’t want to know. I could see this being a deal breaker for a decent percentage of women. Just something to consider.
No
Detouring around a woman’s consent with financial bribery isn’t going to do you any favors with future partners
No, even if it is legal brothels are still extremely predatory against young women
No
Ethical concerns aside realistically this may put some people off having relationships with you in the future if they find out about it. It might not be fair but that’s the truth. I personally don’t think it’s worth it
Yes
Yes
Sex workers are humans. They are not better or worse than any other human trying to survive in this horrendous world. Use protection. Go to an expensive place. Enjoy.
Stupid decision, i feel you’re doing it for Money and NOT for “just wanting to know what it feels like”.
If you want to know, look for it in the real world, like the mayority of people. When i lost my virginity and didn’t pay or got paid, it was a wonderful experience.
Either it’s for MONEY or LAZY to put time and effort on a VERY IMPORTANT life experience.
At the end of the day, your body you’re choice.
Wish you well and protect yourself
MS
No wait for your wife trust me
I thought I’d be a virgin forever and I met my wife in my late twenties and had blown my virginity months prior to meeting her
Dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever done
Be patient trust me
Sex with women is almost entirely emotional it doesn’t actually feel that good
Sex being amazing is nearly 100% propaganda, jerking off and bringing yourself to orgasm is going to feel about the same the only difference is the emotional connection which is what makes sex good
This is why it’s just not worth having sex for no reason, wait for a partner
If you are super duper curious what vagina feels like buy one of those realistic Pocket pussies, I promise you it does not feel much different
Only read the first sentence but I think I get the gist. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, just do a little research go to a cleaner one. Those girls will love you and times are tough, so they’ll be happy to see you!
Yes, it’ll be fun experience for you. Don’t worry.
I would say yes. And this is the main reason, first timers many times lack of confidence to go outside and “get it” starting as a conversation with people. You will feel more secure of yourself and it will happen to you more easily.
Do you really want your first sex memory to be with a woman who won’t remember you?
Do it. I lost my virginity just to lose it at 17. It was dumb and I really feel bad for what I did to that girl (I had sex but I believe she was under the impression a relationship could come about). It sucked balls. She stank (I’m assuming since it was her first time too she didn’t know about smells etc), I didn’t know how to please a woman and neither of us came (she got dry and I kept trying to shove it in like an idiot and then proceeded to think oh I just didn’t fit (yes I’m stupid)).
What that experience did teach me though is that I was making it a way bigger deal in my head then it actually was. It got me over the hump of avoidance and constantly rejecting people’s advances. It made me take the first move more often and “shoot my shot”. It led to me eventually having a great girlfriend of 2.5 years at this point (I’m 22).
So if it won’t affect you negatively do it and keep it to yourself. Just don’t make it a habit. Don’t think the woman actually cares about you. Don’t think you have the right to do whatever you want because you are paying. Be a good human do ur business and leave.
You can never ever be absolutely 100% certain that you’re not paying for sex trafficking. Better to just masturbate buddy.
It you have money and I mean money to blow that you know for a fact you can get it back and you don’t have bills that have to be urgently paid then I don’t see why not
There is no should. Do you want to or not? That’s all that matters. Deep down, you know what you want to do. Don’t look to others for validation. Make your choice and live your life how you see fit.
Yeh probably