Hi Reddit, this might be a little long so I’m sorry in advance.
So a little bit of back story, my mom (45f) is a single mom to us three kids, (me 20f) (brother 16m) (little brother 9m). She doesn’t have a lot of friends and we don’t have a lot of close family having to cut them off due to some crazy situations in my childhood. In one of those situations my brother (16m) suffered some pretty serious brain injuries leaving him with some lasting affects. He has come so far since his accident happened, from dead to fully living, just a tad socially unaware.
Today is the Fourth of July and I have plans to go to the beach with a group of friends and my boyfriend. My brother’s “friends” all ghosting him in their plans today so I told him he was totally free to come hangout with me and my friends.
This morning I was talking to my mom, only to find out that my brother had been up all night throwing up, moms plans were canceled with her friends, and not even my 9 year old brother will be doing anything fun today. I feel horrible.
As the oldest and the only girl, I feel such a pressure to be there with them today. I know that me being home probably wouldn’t help much, but I feel so guilty going and having fun while my family is stuck at home. I feel like I could brighten their day and find ways to make today fun if I was home, but then I have fomo thinking about not going to the beach.
What would you do?
Thank you!
Comments
This is very sweet of you!! Your family is one of the most important aspects of your life. The more time you can give them the better imo. If you feel like you wanna spend some time with them, then 100p you should
you will regret not going with your friends, sometimes there’s hard situations like this. Do it for yourself!
How about you take your little brother to go see how to train your dragon at the movies? And then join your friends.
It’s sweet that you are thinking of this!
Personally I would follow through with my plans, taking your brother along if he still wanted to go and then spend some time with the whole family when you return.
No reason you can’t do both
Go and have fun with your friends. You don’t owe it to your family to stay in and be miserable just because someone is sick. It was kind of you to offer your brother the chance to hang out with you and your friends. I hope you go and have a great time.
Go to the beach and cut it short. Then go home and spend time with family.
If you staying home to look after your little brother would let your mom go out with her friends, then that’s a good reason to stay home and give her a break.
Maybe pick up some sparklers and do them at home so they still feel festive and then go out? Might help alleviate some guilt. But really you should go have fun with your friends. You’re only 20 once 🤷♀️
I think if your brother sick you being around is not gonna be helpful and not helpful to him… go have fun with your friends
That’s so sweet. Go with your friends.
Stay home! Fourth of July parties, always disappointed anyway. And then you have to drive home with all the drunks on the road.
I would want my daughter to live and have fun. You’re not your mother’s parent.
Just go.
If you were home sick, would you want them to miss out on an annual event to keep you company?
We can’t stay home until things are perfect or we’d never go anywhere.
No, go live your life. Your Mom should want that too.
If your brother was throwing up all night, what would your staying home with the family accomplish?
You already made plans affecting other people. They are relying on you, and this came up later. You can keep your committed plans with your friends and also plan something nice for your family afterwards since you missed them and want to do something nice with them also. You won’t be doing them any service if you don’t really want to be there and doing it out of guilt. We should do things out of love so plan something with them that you are sincerely enjoying your time and relations with each other.
I think you should go with your friends, and if I were your mom, that’s what I would want you to do. You sound like a very thoughtful, caring, conscientious person. I’m sure you provide a lot of support for your family. You need to take some time to enjoy life so that your batteries can be fully charged for when they really need you. Otherwise, you might start to regret being a thoughtful, caring, and conscientious person.
Try to give both places some of your time but don’t not go to the beach!
Your children at all different levels of maturity in life situations you should do the ones that are best for you. You’ll never be able to replace these years. You will ever be able to spend more time with your brothers and your mom.
Don’t guilt trip yourself