*Throwaway acc, just looking for some advice*
Hi,
The title basically sums it all up. I am hesitating between saving or not saving a photo of me and my girlfriend from my first ever serious relationship. There is a picture that I have in mind, but I got mixed feelings between what I should do.
In some sense it feels right cause maybe one day (might be when I’m really old or whatever, you never know) I might wanna look back at it and remember the good times we had, cause there won’t be any other pictures left of us and what if I forget how she looks like?
On the other hand it feels like I am still hung up on her if I keep one. What would my future girlfriend or my lifelong partner one day feel if they got the information that I’m saving a pic of my first gf on a harddrive?
I’m so not sure what I’m thinking here and I won’t make my decision until I’m totally sure of what I feel, but in the meantime I’d like to know if you guys ever have resonated along these lines and what you guys would have done if you were in my situation?
Comments
Just her or both of yous
This is very personal. I kept all the pics because almost all my relationships ended on friendly terms or where a great lesson i need to remember. Do I ever look at them no.
Do I throw them away no either. It’s part if my history even if some where my biggest mistakes
I’m happily married, I’ve still got photos of ex girlfriends – I keep basically every photo I ever take! Nothing inappropriate obviously. My wife has no issues with it, she’s got photos kicking around with exes in too. I’ve never understood some people’s apparently obsession with purging any and all evidence of all prior relationships. If something ended badly and you don’t ever want to see their face again, that’s fair enough, but I don’t think it’s inherently disrespectful to future relationships just to have some old photos lying around. Hell, my parents have got boxes of old photos and some pics are of past partners – it’s a point of history, it’s interesting to hear about.
There’s a big difference between “I’m keeping this photo of an ex girlfriend and longingly staring at it, night after night” vs. “I don’t deliberately purge all photos of exes”. I realise some people have strong feelings about this, but as with so many things there’s no absolutely right or wrong answer – some people want to delete everything, fair play to them, many don’t. It’s not “wrong” to keep photos of exes around as a digital record of the past. I’d argue any future partner who’s right for you will be the sort of person who doesn’t take issue with it.
Personally I think anyone who tries to lay down the law and insist their partner deletes all photos of exes has insecurity issues they need to work on. They might not love that their partner has ex photos, but they should at least be capable of understanding different viewpoints exist, and that having old photos doesn’t mean “I still long for my ex girlfriend, and my current girlfriend is a pale imitation”.
First think about. What photos would you be comfortable with your new partner to still keep of their ex while with you?
Personally. I think there is nothing wrong with keeping some photos. Likes ones from trips. But its not OK to keep any naughty photos or any of you two hugging or kissing or cuddling to close.
Keep it. One photo isn’t being hung up, it’s a part of your past. It’s normal to want to remember, and a future partner should understand that.
I have every photo I’ve ever had for nearly 50 years, and I’m the keeper of the family tree.
I have never cut or burnt anything.
I have been married and divorced twice, and never was something like a photograph an issue.
I just wouldn’t keep it out in plain site as you go through future relationships.
Yeah just keep it not an issue, just keep it someplace where it’s not easily accessible. When my uncle got married he gave us a whole album of ex girlfriends that he didn’t want to get rid of but didn’t want his wife to see. Which I understand, these were photos and memories of young days, it’s not so much about the person but the memories of who you were at the time.
Yeah it’s not bad at all. Just keep it where it won’t be accessible that’s all. I still have my ex boyfriend pictures. I don’t have issues with this
No harm in keeping until married. Wouldn’t hesitate to dispose if asked at that point.
Keep it, but put it away. Put it somewhere not in your immediate eye line. Ideally somewhere where you’d randomly stumble upon it in five years or more.
Yeah. Sometimes our memories fade for different reasons. I wish I could remember a lot of things.
It’s been 25 years since I’ve seen or spoken to this person but I have a photo that reminds me of the good times.
If memory of her is something important to you or it moves you in some way, keep it.
Do you want to keep it? Then keep it. If you don’t then don’t.
I kept the pictures of my cheating ex husband. We had ten good years together before that. I don’t put them up since we split. I have none on Facebook. I can’t remember the last time I’ve looked at them. I threw away/burned/deleted/unspeakable things to the pictures of the partner of three years who tried to kill me. My DH of ten years who recently died- I will keep his photos displayed/posted til I’m dead.