I (m25) have been living in Minnesota for the last 7 years. I moved up here for college and have stuck around for 2 years after graduating for work. I recently quit that job and started working part-time with the mindset that I am going to move out of this state and possibly to another country. To be clear I do not have a solid plan or a job offer anywhere, but I feel a strong pull to travel the world and have adventures while I can. I do not like living in Minnesota anymore and I plan to move out when my lease expires in 2 months. Then, about 6 weeks ago, I make a new acquaintance with this wonderful woman (f28) while rock climbing. I think she’s one of the most brilliant, funny, warm, creative, and driven people that I know. Since then we have met up to climb together several times a week and during our sessions time flies by and I can forget about everything and simply enjoy being around her and doing our shared activity together. We have hung out a few times outside of rock climbing – hiking, outdoor concerts, relaxing in the yard and reading – and when I’m with her I feel completely at peace. I have gone on a couple dates with other women in the last week and went out to the bars and I’m noticing that I do not have eyes for any other woman or find any of them interesting. To me, she is the most beautiful woman in the world and the only woman I want to spend time with. She knows about my goals to live abroad and that I plan on leaving Minnesota soon. Should I tell her I’m in love with her and tell her that if she wanted me to stick around Minnesota longer, that I would for her?
TL;DR – I (m25) fell in love with a woman (f28) that I met 6 weeks ago. Do I profess my love to her and ask her if she wants me to put off moving away so that we can be in a relationship ?
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I would be hesitant to name it love at this stage, it might be limerence it might be love but I know I would freak out to hear that so early.
You don’t know each other well enough, you may be on the path to love.
I would tell her your dreams and ask if she is open to long distance or moving in the future. Delaying a year if you feel very strongly about her isn’t a bad idea.
Have you actually gone on a date with this women or Just hung out as friends? Because randomly telling her you love her despite only knowing her for 6 weeks, possibly not even dating, and putting the pressure on her to decide your next life step is a shit idea.
If you have been on an actual official well communicated it’s romantic and not friendship date then start with a honest conversation about how you really like her, but had planned to travel some once your lease is up. Let her know you’re curious what the next step forward for y’all would be. Is she open to long distance? Will y’all pause and pick things up if you return? Or is she immediately just like yeah have fun sucks you’re moving. Since y’all aren’t in an exclusive relationship.
If you have NOT been on a for sure discussed by both of you romantic date and just hanging out casually then ask her out and start with that being something she’s interested in before you even start talking about the future.
Don’t put your future on her and start going off about how in love you are though. That’s way too much pressure and not fair to her especially when you’ve only known her for a little while and aren’t in a committed relationship. You just like her a lot and are thinking y’all could have a nice future and then maybe a few years from now you can mention how you knew she was the one asap or whatever if yall stay together. OR in another couple of months you’ll be traveling the world and won’t even remember why you thought about stopping all this adventure for some random person. Who knows how it’ll go.
Want to know a great way to lose a new friend?
You declare your love for them and lay responsibility for a major life decision at their feet.
Yeah. That’s how you lose a friend.
You don’t like living in Minnesota. You still wouldn’t like living in Minnesota if you stayed for a chance to be her boyfriend. Continue your intended path. Ask her on a date if that’s something you want to do. Maybe it turns into something.
And side note: consider getting yourself together. Your lease is up in two months and your “plan” is to move … but so far that plan extends no further than “I just don’t want to be here”.