Should I please my wife?
I am a 46-year-old man, an architect, with a rather classic style: I wear a suit (no tie) and tassel loafers every day.
My wife would like both of my ears to be pierced with real diamonds, identical to those worn by women. She finds it really sexy and talks to me about it several times a day. She would like me to dare that and for everyone to see me with both ears pierced with diamonds. I know it’s not a whim and that she really wants to see me like this from now on. Should I please my wife and have diamonds put in my ears? Thank you for your advice.
Comments
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.
Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type “!lock” (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won’t be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Do you want to please her?
What do YOU want?
If you thnk it’s something you are supposed to do to
This is an oddly phrased question, which only addresses one side of things – “my wife wants X”. OK, but what do you want? If you’re very against the idea then no, her feelings for your dress/body shouldn’t override your own feelings, which matter just as much. If you’re indifferent or not that bothered, then why not do something that she likes? I don’t really know what advice you’re expecting to get that you couldn’t decide for yourself.
This is entirely up to you and her. Have you tried clip ons first to see how it looks?
Piecing ears is trivial and once healed, you can take them out. If you’re worried about clients or co workers, take them out during work. I know plenty of guys with pierced ears. If it’s enough that she talks about it multiple times a day, maybe with a shot.
Ultimately, it’s up to you and your comfort. Except for you and her; it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
Happy wife, happy life?
Listen, you should only do it if you’re comfortable with it. Because it’s not just a piece of clothing or a hairstyle. It’s a body mod, albeit a very very small one and likely most socially accepted one.
Personally I wouldn’t do it, but I’m not you.
You’re allowed to answer this for yourself. You’re a grown man.
Happy wife, happy life
How do you feel about it? I would not be doing that, but my wife would also never ask me to.
Doing things that will make your wife find you more attractive is not a bad thing, but not if it makes you feel stupid.
As a man with 2 studs on my ears, I’d say it’s up to you, you didn’t need it back then, you don’t need it now, especially at 46 and having a serious profession. How about “i get my ears pierced, you buy me REAL diamonds and I’ll wear it when we’re out but that’s all I will do to make you happy” 😂
Get some magnetic ones and don’t wear them to work.
Tell her to pound sand.
This wins the prize for weirdest Reddit post of the day. And this is Reddit!
On one hand I’m fiercely independent about style. On the other I don’t really care what other people think and I can see myself being able to pull it off so I’d probably run with it if my wife brought it up. But I also tied my hair up with a flashing light up hair tie she gave me as a joke for a Christmas party so 🤷♂️.
You’ve got to do what you’re comfortable with, but it’s also good to know why you’re uncomfortable with things. If you want to do it but you’re afraid of what people will think or something just try it and find out. But if you personally just don’t like the look, have a chat with her and let her know.
I am also a man who has a classic style and since you need someone to tell you what to do, tell her no. You’ll look like a clown and your potential clients might not appreciate your diamond pierced ears.
My wife would also like it If I did this or that and I set boundaries and say no, if I’m not comfortable doing whatever the thing she asks is not reasonable to me.
I find that women respect you more when you learn when to say no to them.
When my wife suggests something to me that she finds “really sexy,” I go ahead and follow that trail of breadcrumbs…..all the way to the gingerbread house. Stick me in that oven, baby!
That’s some weird shit bro. It’s your body. You do with it what you want. Don’t just fold because someone else wants you to alter yourself.
No! Hold some frame!
I’m sorry, it sounds like a stupid idea. Man wearing diamonds in both ears – what? I guarantee you – your surroundings are gonna think you are crazy and have bad taste.
You a grown ass man? You do you.
Sounds gay.
If you want! I pierced my husband’s ears when he was 35 years old. He’s secretly always wanted a piercing or tattoo, he just needed a little extra push. He does look very sexy with them.
Simp.
No
Aren’t there other ways to please a wife?
Brother, you’re asking an important question—because deep down, you want to please your wife without losing your own identity. You want to be loving and true to yourself. That balance isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.
I’ve been there. I’ll share what I did.
Marriage is a bond—it’s meant to be a mutual complement, not a compromise of self. My wife once asked me to cut my long hair. I had been growing it for five years. It became a real point of tension—lots of arguments, and honestly, it almost cracked our marriage. And yeah, it sounds silly… but it wasn’t about the hair.
So I asked her: Why do you want me to cut it? What came out had nothing to do with me. She was raised in a strict European home, and we were about to meet her traditional parents. She was afraid they’d judge her based on my “hippie” hair. It was her own insecurity—not a reflection of who I was.
Now, for you—it’s not about earrings. It’s about staying connected to your authentic self. And it’s also about understanding why your wife wants what she’s asking for.
So ask her: Why is this important to you? Then ask again. And again. Peel back the layers. Maybe it’s about appearances, maybe social image, maybe something deeper—status, attraction, validation, etc. But you can’t navigate it until you understand her why.
Because here’s the truth: If you keep changing to please others, you’ll lose pieces of yourself. And that resentment? It doesn’t go away. It builds.
Stay true to who you are. That’s not selfish—that’s honest.
You can love her fully without losing yourself in the process.
Much love and light to you. You got this. And hey—if you ever need to talk it out, I’m here.
You got this!
(Oh, and FYI—I’ve got a tattoo I didn’t really want… because I ignored my own advice and people-pleased. —learn from my mistake! Haha.)
I would 100% do that for my wife.
It sounds like you don’t want to do this. In this case, I’d say, in general you should always try to please your spouse, but there are things like boundaries and personal preferences that can’t be crossed or should be respected.
I’d say that they have fake magnetic earrings you could buy to try out and see if they satisfy her desire while they aren’t a permanent choice. Not that pierced ears are permanent. I tell my wife no on things she asks me all the time. I had to ask her to stop asking me, because the answer would always be no, and it hurt me to disappoint her but it’s something I physically couldn’t do. I didn’t want to be reminded of my own limitations.
Here’s my take, for you to take or leave.
If this was me in this scenario I would do it. Not as a compromise, mind you. I’d be fucking stoked if my Mrs hit me up with a request like this. If she came to me with something this minor, (minor, here meaning something I can just go down the shop and have done one time, as opposed to some ongoing thing I have to do), and it was something she says she would find sexy? Yeah man I would be all over that shit.
You want to please your wife, as you have stated. This seems like a really easy way for you to please her, which, by the sounds of it, will likely lead to more of her pleasing you 😉.
Besides.. Are you really compromising that much about yourself? If you don’t like the earrings, take em out and the holes will just close over.
Personally I see no downsides to this.
46 year old man with diamond earrings.. people are going to assume you are going through a mid-life crisis or you are immature. Your wife may be going through a midlife crise, or she is immature. You don’t sound like you want to do this. I say don’t do it.
Are you white?
Can you do clip ons? I have had relationships where maybe they want me to have painted nails or whatever. I’m fine with that. But no piercings or tattoos. I have a relationships where they want me to have tattoos and i refused. And I’m glad I did.
Fun thing about piercings. They can be taken out.
If you want to do it…go for it.
If you hate it, you can take them out.
🤷🏾♂️
The mere fact that you ask means that you have some reservations.
So, NO, don’t do it.
With a title like that I thought it was going to be a more interesting story.
It’s your body and she needs to accept that.
You should troll for karma a little less hard.