For context, MIL and I have a great relationship. I love her so much and she is so excited for our LO.
Anyways, MIL is painting a couple walls in her office and is getting a crib. She didn’t ask, but I told her my feelings on the crib. (I am fine with it as long as it’s not used as a guilt trip of “well there’s a crib here that never gets used” I didn’t ask for them to buy a crib, LO will be with me everyday when they’re here 🙂 )
So a couple of weeks ago, MIL and I were out shopping. I was looking at some nursery decorations and saw something super cute that I wanted. I looked at my MIL and said, “omg look at this! I have to have it” and her response was, “oh I wanted that for my house”.
Completely ruined the moment for me. We were spending the rest of the day together so I dropped it and let that comment go. Neither of us got the said decoration. We went about our day and had a great time.
But now, it’s really starting to bother me that she did that. I feel as if she put her feelings first over my feelings and my excitement for my child’s nursery. I understand that this is her first grandchild and she’s excited too, but I personally believe that if I said I wanted something for my nursery that she may have wanted for the room she’s putting together for my child at her house, she shouldn’t have said anything and let me have it.
So, should I say something or just let it go? Are my feelings justified? It’s been about 3 weeks since this happened. SO is on board with me saying something to her.
Thanks for the insight!
Comments
Login here to leave a comment
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as karapeterson posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe karapeterson JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
Just go back and buy the thing. If she says anything like this again, address it. “Sorry, I’m the mom and baby will be using their nursery at home everyday. I’m getting this item.”
Don’t be afraid of hurting her feelings. Those are hers to manage. She needs to realize she’s grandma.
I’m not sure why you didn’t go ahead and the item you wanted. I would have laughed and said “I’m glad you appreciate my good taste.” And then purchase the item. You are almost giving her permission to go back and do so herself.
Imagine how irritated you would nbe when you show up to her house and she has it hanging on her wall or draped over the crib whatever it may be. Don’t let her change your mind about anything that you want for your child. It is your child first and her grandchild second.