There’s a bar/grill that I have been going to for quite a few months now and I absolutely love it. I’ve met a lot of people there (my ex is one of them) and I’ve built some incredible relationships. So the predicament is that he has very close ties to the place (i’m not going to say how for anonymity sake but he’s not going anywhere is my point). He’s also been going for a decade longer than me. Since our break up, he is trying to turn some of the regulars against me in hopes to run me out. I really have made great friends there and I love the atmosphere and I just feel like I shouldn’t have to leave to make him feel better. Should I stay? Should I go?
Should I stop going to a place that I love because of my ex?
r/Advice
Comments
The important detail you’ve left out is why your ex is an ex. I ask because in my head, an amicable breakup wouldn’t have one person trying to cause trouble for another so that suggests some contention of some kind. If either he still wanted a relationship or someone cheated, then yeah, it’s going to be tough to keep going. And while you might love the place, if he is going to continue with the drama, then it’s a package deal – mostly bar & grill + a side of drama.
Stay! It’s a public place, and you made connections there. And I’ve found that whenever someone tries to turn friends in a breakup, it might work in the short term, but other people really don’t care. Especially if you’re still around, and nice to everyone. That being said, he seems to be territorial about it, so obviously don’t antagonize him by bringing new dates there for a while or by going there specifically knowing he’ll be there. Use your best judgment, and there’s no reason both of you can’t go there.
if the people start acting weird, stop going. otherwise enjoy your spot.
No
Just no! didn’t even have to read the post, don’t stop doing things you love for the sake of someone else
Stand your ground
Go if you feel welcome and comfortable, make a change if you don’t. You can always try someplace entirely new for a fresh start.
Stay put. Any friends that you lose because of what he says weren’t worth keeping anyway.
Besides, if you stop going there, who’s going to warn his next potential gf about him?
If he’s trying to turn the people there against you, and it’s working they were never your friends to begin with.