My best friend and I (22F) have been really close for over a decade. Recently she got diagnosed with ADHD and went through the lengthy process of getting medicated for it. I am really happy for her and I love her so much and I know it’s not her fault, but I’ve noticed since taking the meds she’s become grumpier and a bit meaner and just genuinely seems irritated and it’s kinda hard to be around. Has anyone noticed this as a side effect of Vyvanse? I don’t know if I should politely tell her or bring it up or maybe just wait it out and see if it passes while she gets used to them. I still love her and I genuinely think it is a side effect of the medication and not a reflection of who she is. I think she will feel better without them but she also benefits from them? It’s complicated. I don’t want to come across as I’m attacking her
Should I tell my best friend I think her medication is making her mean?
r/Advice
Comments
Yeah Vyvanse can do that like irritability, mood dips, short fuse. Not uncommon.
But don’t come at her with “your meds are making you mean” That’ll just make her defensive and shut down. Try something softer but real like “Hey I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit on edge lately, are you feeling alright with the new meds?”. That opens the door without blaming her.
If she’s self aware, she might already feel it but not know how to bring it up. Keep it rooted in care, not critique. Just don’t bottle it up cuz it’ll only fester and make things weird.
From someone who has known they have had ADHD their whole life and has been on almost every type of medication under the sun for it, it’s common, Vyvanse may not be for her. I’m currently on mood stabilizers as well because depression and anxiety are commonly mixed with it. It is definitely a touchy subject for some. But who knows, she may just be adjusting and the moods will even out.
>but I’ve noticed since taking the meds she’s become grumpier and a bit meaner and just genuinely seems irritated and it’s kinda hard to be around.
>I think she will feel better without them but she also benefits from them?
Correlation is not causation. Because this came to your attention when she started to take the meds, you are making a connection between the two that might not be there.
You’re not in a position to make that call and it would not be helpful to do so. Medication of any sort needs to be monitored and reevaluated by someone’s medical supports and it takes time and adjustment.
As a friend, what you CAN do is say “I’ve noticed you seem to be struggling lately, you seem irritated by things that I don’t remember bothering you before. Can I help in any way? Do you need something different from me as a friend?”
Vyvanse didn’t do this for me but holy fuck, Concerta turned me into an absolute raging cunt. So I would guess it’s a possibility with any of the stim meds. It may also be because she is forgetting to eat on Vyvanse? It really curbs your appetite and low blood sugar can make people snarky.
I would just ask how taking meds is going/helping and then in casual conversation ask if she’s noticed any side effects. Chances are, she has.
Understand, her entire inner life, her brain, is reorganized for her with this drug assistance and it’s helpful even though there is a period of adjustment. Instead of telling her she’s mean and ornery (smiling) ask her how it’s going on the new meds? Then just listen. Establish that you care about the quality of her life in this change and are someone to whom she can talk about it. If you can do this without prejudice, you’ll be someone she shares more of the info with and then you can feel less alienated. My family member who uses it said that the “noise” calms down in her mind, and she has more “space” to make considered choices. Maybe your friend needs to talk more with the prescriber, or have a different counsellor in this adjustment period. That’s not something to ask about unless she brings it all up, though. Clearly she’s having a rough adjustment. Can you ride it out with her and become softer, or a softer place for her to land without judgement? If not, I get it. You have feelings too. It’s hard to understand, I’ve been in your shoes. I chose to be softer and put up no resistance and also not to “believe” in the transitional time with the new med. maybe you can ask your doc about how you could better understand the effects of the drug on someone you love?
Best wishes on this, however you choose to handle it. It’s not easy for anyone.
Vyvanse can definitely cause irritability but for me, that side effect went away after a couple weeks. It takes time to adjust
ADHD medication is a stimulant so it can absolutely ramp up someone’s anxiety and irritability. You’re right on the money.
I’d bring it up kindly in a way where she won’t get defensive so that you can actually make her aware of what’s going on.
There are different families of meds for adhd and some people react this way on the medicines within those families. I do well on adderall/vyvanse but concerta/ritalin made me like your friend. I was told by my doctor to be aware of this before I tried those meds but if no one gave her the heads up she may not be that aware? I think you could ask her how it’s going on the medicine and just gently mention you’ve noticed she doesn’t seem happy and see where the conversation goes. My boyfriend asked me how long I was trying the meds for (three days) and said okay I’ll see you after that lol
I was definitely more aggressive when I was on Vyvanse.
I personally hate it when people bring up anything about my meds. It’s between me and my provider. But your friend might be different idk.
How long has she been on this medication? Any medication can cause some side effects and will usually go away in a month or two. Have you asked her how she feels? Is she saying she’s moody, grumpy, more angry than usual?
Maybe she needs a different medication, but that’s up to her and the doctor. Vyvanse is a very powerful drug. My mom had to put one of her kids on it, and she said it was tough with the irritability.
Irritability and agitation are two very common side effects. You can also get headaches, dizziness, nausea, and anxiety, which will probably make an irritated person more irritated.
Check in with your friend. Make sure she’s okay. Appreciate her for going through with taking medication and trying to get better. Be there by her side, and gently ask if she’s noticing anything, and if she says “no.” You can share what you’ve noticed and see the conversation from there.
Maybe phrase it in terms of her not seeming very happy while she’s on them. Put the focus on her and her feelings and then if she asks what makes you say that you can say you assumed that’s the reason she’s been irritable with others and that you’re concerned because she’s unhappy rather than you’re concerned for yourself?
You should definitely feed back about the side effect, but also be prepared that if she’s in a grumpy mood she might not take it well. If she takes her mood out on you, you are ALWAYS within your rights to say “i’m stepping back for a bit now because your behaviour is unkind to me”. You can add “I love you and will be here when you’re able to be more gentle with me” if you like – but she’s an adult, she can deal with the consequences of her behaviour.
I’d bring it up in a kind way. I did this with a friend who was taking some shady weight loss medication and became really irritable and mean. “Hey, have you noticed any mood changes? As your friend I feel like you’ve been more on edge and prone to negative moods or outbursts, im still here for you but I wanted to bring it up so i could make sure you’re okay.” Better to bring it up than to distance yourself possibly as a result and have things get worse. Sometimes it takes somebody else pointing something out for the person to realize the changes they’re experiencing 🙂
Meds would change my mood for the worse too and it wasn’t obvious to me. Please communicate it to her, because otherwise she might be deciding on her meds on a bad basis.
Personally I have only the highest respect for the people who did tell me and I have lost a lot of respect for those who were supposed to tell me but didn’t
Hi… oh gosh I read the title and thought I hope it isn’t Vyvanse… my youngest was on it and it made them incredibly mean… they are a sweet loving soul and it made them so cruel… it’s damage is still around a few years later.
Their doc put them on an antipsychotic when they were taking Vyvanse… they were normal weight before we had to switch them to Vyvanse… on it they barely ate and lost so much weight… Concerta was amazing help but we are now on Adderall because pharmacies can’t get generic Concerta in stock.
So yes.. tell your friend and ask them to talk to their doc.. oh and Google Vyvanse and anger.. there is a whole thing on it.
You are an amazing friend!!!