Should I tell my mom that my dad is cheating again, but this time with men?

r/

He’s 56, has a history of affairs, and even has a kid outside our family. Last year my mom finally left for work abroad after finding out about one of his long-term mistresses. We all hoped that would be the wake-up call, but a few months ago I was helping him with work and, out of curiosity, checked his phone. No women this time instead, messages with multiple men he’s paying for “services.”

No one else knows. We’re not close, so I haven’t confronted him, but part of me thinks my mom should know.

Comments

  1. Salty_Thing3144 Avatar

    You should tell your mom. You have no way of knowing if your dad is using protection against STDs with his paryners, regardless of their gender.

    It is not unusual for a woman to be infected with an STD but experience no symptoms. 

    Some STDs are not curable and can put a person’s life at risk.  

    HIV can morph into AIDS and kill someone. HPV can cause uterine cancer.  Herpes is not curable. Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis can cause infertility, blindness and insanity. 

    Tell your mom. 

  2. roryrosy Avatar

    That’s a really tough situation. If you think your mom would want to know and it could help her make informed decisions, it might be worth telling her but only when you feel ready and in a way that’s gentle and supportive. You’re doing your best in a hard spot.

  3. bass-77 Avatar

    Absolutely if you know it to be true and not just hear-say.

  4. Sneakyboob22 Avatar

    Are you okay with your mom being cheated on and possibly getting STDs?

  5. AnaMyri Avatar

    Like everyone here says. STDs don’t discriminate and can increase your risk for certain cancers later. If you’d like your mom to not have a virtual and shortened life then yes. Not to mention if they decide to split and she gets something permanent from him it may make it really hard for her to find love again and that’s so fucked up because it’s not her fault. If she wants to end things and move on she may be able to. If she finds out too late she may never get the chance.

  6. Ok_Diamond_2319 Avatar

    Yes – he is putting her health and life at risk and she needs to know

  7. slice888 Avatar

    You can’t say anything unless you have proof otherwise you’ll be scapegoat as the bad guy. My dad constantly cheats on my mom and she doesn’t wanna believe it. Because I said something about it now they won’t talk to me either one of them. My dad never really got caught red handed cheating, but I caught him lying big time about talking to someone and other things

  8. CompetitionNo3466 Avatar

    Have they ever considered divorce?

  9. sammac66 Avatar

    Yes, 100% your mother should know. Your mother should also go to a doctor and get checked for STDs

  10. Equivalent_Two7464 Avatar

    Mom should know I think.

  11. g13n4 Avatar

    I am afraid if you catch him this time he will move to animals

  12. firstWithMost Avatar

    Your mother must love being cheated on if she is still with him given his history. Sure, tell her. It seems like flogging a dead horse though.

  13. Conscious_Owl6162 Avatar

    You must tell your mom, because of the STD risk to her. This includes potential HIV infection. You would never forgive yourself if your mom got HIV because you didn’t warn her.

  14. joesmolik Avatar

    Yes, you need to tell your mother. He is putting your mother‘s health at risk by bringing home an STD. Your mother deserve to be treated better and it is up to her if she’s gonna leave them or not. But you need to tell her what he’s doing show her the proof and go from there. I’m so you have a father like this.

    X question is no not all men are like him some of us to have standards and respect, relationships, and boundaries which apparently your father does not you need to tell your mother

  15. Keinix22 Avatar

    If he had a history of affairs she probs should have been doing regular STI testing anyways regardless if he’s Cheating with males or females

  16. NarwhalMysterious303 Avatar

    Omg most definitely tell your mom! She needs to get the hell out of there!!!

  17. Majestic_Beat81 Avatar

    Your mother knows. I can promise you.