I have been holding this horrible thing to myself for a while now. My father is cheating on my mother. I found out around a month ago when my father asked me to help him with something on his phone. When i opened the messenger app, i saw his texts with another woman. At first i did not want to believe what i saw, but i decided to make sure of it when i checked his phone again a couple of days later. Now, i do not know how i will reveal this to my mother or whether i should or not. I want the family to not be broken and there is another problem too. My father looks after almost all the financial things of the house and he is the sole financial source in the house and telling this to my mother might affect the livelihood of the family.
I am really struggling with this guys. I hope you can help me.
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That’s a really tough situation to be in, and I can see why you’re struggling with it. There’s no easy answer here, but I’ll try to help you think through your options. First, take a step back and consider what you want to achieve. It sounds like you love your mother and don’t want to see her hurt, but you also don’t want your family to fall apart financially. Those are both valid concerns. Before making any decisions, you might want to gather more information:Do you know if your mother already suspects something?How do you think she would react if she found out?If you decide to tell her, think about the best way to do it. It might be helpful to have support—maybe a trusted family member or close friend who can help your mother process the information.On the other hand, if you choose not to tell her right away, you could still encourage her to be more financially independent so that she’s in a stronger position if she ever needs to make a difficult decision.This isn’t something you should have to carry alone. If you have a sibling, relative, or even a therapist to talk to, that might help you figure out the best course of action. Whatever you choose, just know that this isn’t your fault, and you’re not responsible for your father’s actions.
I would never forgive my child if they knew and didn’t tell me.
try making your father to rectify his actions and end the affair and start giving your mother some hints like you can casually ask her that one of your friend is going through the same situation you are in, so what should she do and boom you got your answer
Talk to your father and tell him what you know. Tell him how this makes you feel and ask him what is going on.
You should not have to get in the middle of this and tell your mother – that is your father’s mess and he should have to clean it up. But tell him how much it bothers you that you know and your mother does not. If he does not step up and deal with this situation, then you will have to be the bad guy and tell your mother.
I wouldn’t throw a hand grenade into my own life like this.
I know this sounds weird but you’re making the assumption your mom doesn’t know.
Marriages can be complicated and I had a friend growing up and her mom knew of her dads affairs and didn’t seem to care until it was brought forth publicly then she reacted and the family split up etc.
Such a bad spot you’re in. I want to tell you to leave it alone and stay out of it but realistically that would weigh on you and if your mom found out you knew and didn’t tell her that’s awful too.
I would start with your dad and make him have the conversation with your mom. Not you. If your dad has any sort of moral compass he’ll leave your part out of the conversations.
I bet she suspects or knows already! Women usually get that unmistaken vibe! I’d talk to my dad and maybe he’ll rectify things, I hope.
It’s a horrible secret to keep. You need to tell her despite the consequences. She deserves to know.