I’m 27 years old.
My parents are fantastic people and would 100% try to help the best they can. Mostly just listening to me vent.
However, as a full grown man, I can’t help but think it would be pointless. I should handle it by myself as that’s what men are supposed to do.
My dad was 27 in 1995, I genuinely can’t imagine how my grandfather would react to my dad saying he was depressed. I honestly believe he would be ashamed that his adult son is making “excuses” for why his life is shit.
Personally, I would listen to my future adult son, as I know how horrible depression can be.
Despite knowing this, I can’t help but think that I’m better off keeping it to myself.
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Yes, Talk to your parents. And visit your doctor. Ask about antidepressants. There is no shame in asking for help.
Yes tell.your parents
You can be 78 and be depressed and reach out for help. No shame in admitting you need support.
Yes!
I would hope that my son(s) in their 30’s would come to me if they needed help.
I was deeply depressed during the pandemic. No one can really say, unfortunately. No one knows anyone else’s family. My suggestion would be a little bit of talking to family (without using family as therapists) and a little bit of on your own working on things to help yourself. And if you need extra help then go to a therapist.
Most people don’t have a clue how to help with this type of thing. Which is why I say to talk a little to family. And work a little yourself first. And if that doesn’t help then go to a professional.
We all need support and understanding in life. There’s nothing wrong with that and particularly the 2 people who love you the most in the world.
Part of dealing with depression is understanding that it is depression, and the feelings are not caused by actual circumstances in life. Depression is also hereditary….. don’t assume that because everything looked fine with your parents, that it was.
Yes. My daughter is 26, and I would 100% want to know so I could help. We are trying to do a better job with each generation. Hang in there.
This video helped me feel like less of a freak and might encourage you to not be ashamed.
Talk to your doctor first, then talk to your parents, then get a therapist.
Depression is treatable- it’s not some moral failing or insidious weakness.
You don’t deserve to have untreated depression- your parents who love you to bits wouldn’t want you to suffer unnecessarily- they would want you to be supported in as many ways possible.
I’m not a parent but I’m someone else who has felt the pain of depression. Yes, tell them. You are not a burden. Depression is an illness and it can be treated. You aren’t more or less of a man for acknowledging that you are unwell. I think it is good to be able to admit you are struggling. Things don’t change unless we do. So, open the door to that conversation.
Only if you have good relationship with them. Try telling them something not quite as serious first.
I’m a mom to kids in their 20s, I would definitely hope that if they were depressed, they would talk to me, because I would want to support them.
Depression isn’t a moral failing or something that men shouldn’t feel. For many people it’s a treatable medical condition. Get the support you need- talk to your parents, talk to your doctor, think about therapy or whatever else you think would help. There are ways to feeling better, be open to finding them.
Wishing you all the best.
Social support is crucial in dealing with any mental health challenge, regardless of your age or gender. Getting support (from your parents and/or other loved ones) is part of handling this for yourself. Recognizing when you need support is a key skill for a full-grown adult to have, as is knowing where you can get help when you need it. Reach out to your parents, and consider also talking to your doctor and/or finding a therapist.
If your parents are fantastic, then they want to help you and like being there for you because they love you. A reframing exercise that I sometimes find useful is to consider that letting people help you does also help them because people love feeling like they’re helpful. Nobody is 100% self-sufficient 100% of the time, and that’s okay: we evolved to be social animals, and we succeed by taking care of each other.
Yes! You need a support system now more than ever. That’s what (good) family is for.
Nothing to do with age. My parents talk to me when their mental health is downhill too. We are here for each other. Let your family do that for you.
You know what we call men who handle their mental health by themselves?
Dead.
I am so glad my son told me. He was about your age and in a real mental health crisis. He needed his family and we would have been sad to think he felt we wouldn’t be there for him. You’d tell them if you had diabetes or a broken leg, wouldn’t you?
Grand parents would say. Bend over grad your boot straps. Pulkem up and get going. That’s not bad advice. In reality I have talked to ALOT of people that claim to be depressed, but once they talk things out. That tend to be unhappy, not depressed. Now with that said I realize it’s different for everyone. But try checking out the clinical definitions of depression before condemning yourself as being depressed
If my parents were still around, I’d tell them, and I’m 35. Go for it while you still have the chance. Sometimes, I just want my mom.
It depends on how close you are with them. Like, I’d tell mum but not pops, being unhappy is part of life. Maybe if you tell them, and if you’ve been acting off for a while, it will be comforting to know the reason they’ve been wondering about.
Forget this traditional stuff (“my gpa would have never been like this”) because this is a different era. Some of us need help. Machismo is for the weak. You’re a full grown man but you should also let them know what you’re doing to address it. I think they’d appreciate it. Talk to a Dr – so much help available for this problem.
I would want to know if my child were depressed so I could support him and get him the professional help he needs. I’d be devastated if my child kept a secret that big from me.
Please talk to your parents. I wish my son did 💔
As a dad with two daughters a bit older than you, my response is to talk to your parents.
By opening up to them you could find that they are way more open and supportive than you may now believe.
I often try to find that little silver lining, and this is a golden opportunity to connect. I don’t know maybe I’m just a foolish old man.
Depression is a medical issue and it’s treatable.
You don’t man up and get over it.
Go to a doctor and treat it.
I would probably use different nomenclature, like ‘I’m really feeling down lately’ – but I think it’s acceptable. You know your father a lot better than I do.
My dad was a pretty stoic guy – hell I can only recall hugging him once in my life; we usually shook hands. We loved each other, never said it out loud. This all sounds really negative, but I had a great relationship with him. Even asked him to be part of my wedding.
So if it was my dad, sure I would tell him… not sure what good it’ll do. About all I would get was ‘maybe you should talk to someone, I don’t know’. We weren’t going to sit down and hash out my problems together.
Tell them. And your doctor.
Men often think they need to solve everything for themselves, and it’s not true. It’s the kind of thinking that isolates us when we need help the most. And it’s really easy for depression to make it seem like a good idea.
You have people who love you, and who want to know how you’re doing. Let them in.