For context, I work with my BIL and have known him for about 20 years (went to high school together). He and my sister (who I’m very close with) have been married about 11 years and have 2 children together.
This morning, BIL was chatting to me about social media, and how Instagram is just a bunch of hot chicks trying to get attention (his opinion). Then he casually mentions how OnlyFans is basically Instagram… He said he signed up for OF to follow “some random hot chick”, but it turned out to be all the same stuff that was on her IG and he was disappointed he would have to pay for more, so he deleted it. I straight up told him “I find it really odd that you’re looking at other women and OF at all when you’re married to my sister.” He responded that it was only the one time out of curiosity and that he didn’t plan to do it again, and that in hindsight he “should have used a burner account because of all the OF spam I get now”…
I got back to work and have been going about my day, but this conversation just isn’t sitting right with me. I’m wondering if I should talk to my sister about it, but I also don’t want to cause her any anxiety or hurt if it really was just this one instance of curiosity on his side. Any advice or different viewpoints could help me figure out what, if anything, I should do. Thank you!
Comments
Yes tell her that’s super weird
I agree with your viewpoint. It is weird and offensive. I’d let your sister know. She deserves the truth
She still has the right to know, even if it was just one instance. He’s obviously searching for “hot girls” so it’s not like it was an accident. Very immature for someone who is married anyways. You should definitely let her know what he is/was up to.
Honestly, trust your gut if the conversation isn’t sitting right with you, there’s a reason. You did the right thing by calling him out in the moment, but his response (“should’ve used a burner”) shows more concern about not getting caught than about respecting your sister. You don’t have to run and tell her immediately, but keep this in mind and watch his behavior. If you ever see more red flags or patterns, it might be time to have that hard conversation. Your loyalty to your sister is valid, and her emotional well-being matters but so does the truth. You’re in a tough spot, and you’re handling it with a lot of thoughtfulness.
He was trying to bond with you, you prude.
Yes involve yourself in their marriage that way it can blow up in your face at work and in your personal life
literally nothing can go wrong
Do not tell her, it’s not your place and you dont wan to be the person causing a huge fight, if he wants to pay for OF thats their business, if it was cheating or some serious offence i would say something else.
Heres an idea!
Why dont you mind your own business?
Tell her. Period.
Dude just told you he likes to look at hot girls, not that he’s cheating. Weird thing to tell your brother in-law but not something you be a snitch about.
Honestly, men are very visual. I don’t like it and I consider it cheating, but it’s very common. I don’t think I would share that with your sister because it would just hurt her and it would blow up your relationship with her as well because if she stays with him, he will not want you to be around him.
Just pray for them. Like I said, what he did is very common, unfortunately. But now that you know that he struggles you can pray specifically about that.
Tell your sister.
Be prepared she might not believe you at first.
She’ll figure it out on her own eventually. You don’t want her to figure out you knew too. That’ll end worse.
I always tell people your gut matters!!! Humans access things all day and everyday. Your senses are constantly going …you didnt feel that out of the blue. Plus, why does he want temptation? Temptation doesnt always ruin marriages but he sure is risking a lot
Minding one’s own business seldom gets you in trouble.
Mind your business. People look at crap all the time.
I almost ruined a friendship by not telling a friend that I saw her fiancé with someone else. This is your sister tell her.
Ahaha get a life ..
Questions like this are so tough, because all of it depends on your friendship with him, if he’s ever said anything else that made you uncomfortable, etc. Like you, I’m very close to my BIL and my sister, and if he said something like this, it wouldn’t be odd to me. They both like porn and so do my husband and I. Also, I fully trust him where my sis is concerned.
HOWEVER…none of this means you’re wrong to be uncomfortable! If it’s really bothering you, and otherwise the 2 of you are really close, why not just tell him the truth (like you did here) and ask him to tell your sister? Just say it’s bothering you but you didn’t want to go behind his back.