So I (19) have been talking to this boy (18). I have Hypoglycaemia and my sugar crashed yesterday. I was alone but I was texting the boy. I haven’t told him about it yet, so I called my brother. I’m afraid to tell him honestly, I don’t want him to constantly be worried about it, he’s a little bit of a worrier. We’re a bit more than friends but not exactly together. We do a lot of things together, we’re on the same fishing team and we go on long walks occasionally. My friends think I should wait until we’re dating to tell him. My mother thinks I should go ahead and tell him since we hang out so much already. I’ve always been a bit embarrassed about this, only tell close friends. I’m just torn about whether I should wait to tell him or not.
Should I tell the boy I’m talking to about my medical condition?
r/Advice
Comments
My advice would be to tell him in a way that isn’t a huge deal. You could just mention in passing, sorry I went awol last night, my blood sugar crashed. Stupid hypoglycemia.
Then later on you could have a more in-depth conversation about it, if you want.
Since you spend a lot of time together, it might be a good idea to let him know sooner rather than later. You don’t have to go into huge details just explain the basics so he’s not caught off guard if it ever happens while you’re with him. If you frame it calmly, he’ll probably just appreciate your honesty
Mention that you have occasional bouts with low sugar, and sometimes it makes you dizzy and/or sleepy. Say to him that you are telling him this so he doesn’t think you are not interested in him or a situation if you start to look drowsy. Then, let him ask all the questions he wants. You’d be surprised what a great conversation could result.
They have an epi-pen type gadget that will raise your sugar to 350 with a dose. Get one of those or start carrying a sprite with you at all times. I’ve lived with it for 59 years. It sucks but if you are prepared it is a non-issue.
Ok, so I’m saying this as a disabled person who has been in a power wheelchair for 20 years. So, I’m no stranger to the anxiety or unease that you’re feeling.
Thing is, everyone and I do mean EVERYONE, deals with something. It could be a physical thing, or mental, or emotional, but we all have a thing that weighs on us. Those who say they do not, are lucky that they haven’t found it yet, or maybe unlucky, depending on how you look at it.
I’d tell him. Make it like it’s no big deal because it’s not. It could wreak havoc with you, sure, but it is manageable, so no need to really freak out. It’s less about the issue and more about how you address it. If he wants to be with you in any capacity, he will not let an issue like that get in the way. If he does let it become a problem, you don’t need those kind of “friends” anyway.
Are you afraid he’ll back off wanting to date you if you tell him? How are you monitoring your blood sugar? Apple Watch? If he asks, “What’s that?,” you could explain your condition, but it would also show you’ve got it under control.
Usually hypoglycemia is the result of diabetic meds. The non diabetic type is quite rare. Is this the kind you have?
If so are there other organs involved? It would have been very difficult for me to manage this at your age. I imagine that you have to monitor your diet closely… and your activity as well. I have no clue how serious this is. I know how dangerous low blood sugar is just by itself. Does this happen often or have you been able to stay on top of it for the most part?
As to your question, for me it would be dependant on other factors. If you guys become very close he should definitely know. But if you are still in the very beginning stages, I would wait. You don’t know where the relationship will go and I wouldn’t want my personal medical information known by someone I’m not close to. On the other hand, if you are spending time with him and it happens, he could be freaked out. Either monitor yourself very closely, or let him know so he can do the responsible thing.
Do you have a diabetic alert dog? It would be invaluable for you.. especially if this gets away from you often.
Id go ahead and tell him now so he can understand what you are going through maybe he can help you find ways to deal with it if he knows you have it. If you think you will be something serious waiting is not going to help anything
I have extreme hypo since I was about 7 I’m 33 now. Everyone in my life knows knew as it’s not caused my meds or anything and it happens often.
I’m quick in picking up my low signs and normally deal with it. When I met my now husband we were just getting to know each other and sleeping together I mentioned it in passing and he asked a few questions and we left it at that.
Lucky I did and he listened and apparently did his own research because about a week later it happened while we were watching a movie on the couch and I couldn’t catch it only had enough to tap him. He shot up and did what he had to and got me back. He was worried but adrenaline kicked in and he was quick.
I’m happy he listened to my passing comment and was prepared we have been married 7 years now together 9 and even my in-laws are all well trained now too. I had a low episode at there house earlier on and they were about to cry and panicked but my husband took care of it and later we had an in depth conversation with his family too
Hypoglycemia is manageable. What’s the issue? So you need some more attention to diet and eating. Some young people have diabetes and others food allergies making it difficult to eat what others eat. That’s just the way the world is. If he loves you it won’t make a difference. Over time he’ll get use to your needs.
Just be open and honest with him , tell him you have a medical condition it may happen when you’re hiking or fishing. So he don’t know what proper actions to take to save your life
You have hypoglycemia you’re not dying. I don’t know how you casually bring it up but maybe if you’re somewhere together and go oh I need to eat something cuz my blood sugar sometimes drops way too low and I’ve got to get something in me I don’t want to pass out on you. Or whatever it does to you.
The deepest and most powerful relationships are those where you truly know each other.
You may or may not be looking for a deep and powerful relationship at 19. Will you someday? If so, do you think it would be helpful to gain experience and understanding of that type of relationship?
If so, tell this fellow about your hypglycaemia and do it in a light, honest, and positive way.
Examples:
“I have hypoglycemia, which means my blood sugar sometimes crashes like a bad Wi-Fi signal. I’ve got snacks, though—so I’m always ready for a snack attack.”
“So… my body’s idea of drama is low blood sugar. It’s not a big deal, but sometimes I need snacks like it’s an emergency. I promise I’m not just obsessed with gummy bears.”
“So, I have hypoglycemia. If we ever hang out and I start acting weird, it probably means I need sugar. You could be my snack hero.”
PS: Deep and powerful relationships can be incredibly sexy.
i always tell others about my medical conditions especially if we are close or meeting up somewhat regularly and i give them solutions on how to accommodate. sometimes i also give them this paper with step by step solutions on what to do in case of an emergency
“Sometimes I’m not sweet enough and need a sugar boost, If I am ever acting a little off give me some candy”
You’re nervous about telling him, I get that, you don’t want him to reject you because of it. However, if you have an incident when you are with him, that would probably freak him out. Best tell him now, calmly explaining how to deal with it why you trust him enough to tell him.
I would say tell him. You don’t have to go into major detail, but it would be good for him to know in case something happened while you were together. It’s always good to tell friends or even just people you are doing activities with if you have some kind of health issue that could cause an emergency situation, like passing out or having a seizure. For example, a friend in high school told me at some point that he was epileptic. He had a seizure during lunch and I happened to be the only person who knew and was able to tell people nearby what was happening and keep people from touching him. He didn’t even know what happened when it stopped, so I filled him in then walk him to the office, which was thankfully nearby since he got up before I could stop him, and let the staff know what happened. If he hadn’t casually mentioned it one day, it definitely could have been much worse. To this day if someone mentions a health problem or allergy, I can somehow remember that probably better than their name.
I’d mention it and add a quick “there’s no need to worry unless you see x, y, or z. If you do it’s just a matter of getting me to do a or b”
You weren’t born with a tail, and you’re not secretly married. Hypoglycemia is small potatoes. Just let him know that you crash sometimes. It’s really no biggie.
As someone with a lot of physical and mental illnesses, yes.
Things I would tell a friend or anyone I spent a lot of time with:
Lupus, including the conditions that I may pass out under. I need them to not freak out if it happens. I also need them to be cognizant of the pain and fatigue so they don’t get hurt if I’m not up to doing much in a flare up.
Endometriosis, the pain would often land me in the er. So yes, people again needed to know not to freak.
Food allergies and sensitivities for safety reasons.
Wait until we are dating: bipolar
Anxiety if it didn’t come out during the getting to know you stage
The other fun autoimmune issues I have, if it didn’t come out in the getting to know you. Including the early heart attack from them and the small heart issue found during that heart attack. Rn it’s not a worry, but I may need surgery for it one day.
Infertility from endometriosis, once it looked like it was getting serious. A person who a kid is a dealbreaker for deserves to know it before it gets to the life planning stages. When the discussion of what we see in our futures comes up to see if they align, that’s a good time to say so.
Things I don’t care who knows when:
Migraines
Super sensitive to all senses
Thyroid issues
Concussion history and small things like that.
Basically, if it is something that may happen when I’m with them, I want them to be prepared and not be scared. If it’s something that isn’t their business unless if we’re planning to start dating long term, it can wait.
I’ve had hypoglycemia on a first date. It’s no big deal. People understand.
You tell him because: what if you had a hypoglycemic crash? He wouldn’t know what to do and it would be very scary. Tell him. Tell him what to do in a situation.
Are you type one or type two?
Honestly, if someone isn’t safe enough to tell this to, you don’t need that negativity in your life. Know your worth as a human being.
I have blood sugar sensitivity and as selfish as it sounds people need to ‘accommodate’ it. As in you better plan in or allow me to take a ‘sugar’ break or don’t expect me to enjoy our time together when I feel dizzy. (I’m also on seizure meds and I require my friends and family to know how to handle a seizure.)
GL and wish you good health!
I would say that when you get together that sometimes you have hypoglycemia and your blood sugar get slow so if that happens, you always have juice with you and make sure you drink it and that’s all
diabetic type 1 here, think i get what you get when my blood sugar drops. nobody i’ve dated has had any issues with it and have always been supportive towards my illnesse, even helping me when i’ve passed out. i don’t think he will negatively react
Type 1 diabetic here.
It’s a good idea for the people you spend time with to know. If you start to crash while you are hanging out with them and need their assistance, that is not a very convenient time to have to explain.
For worriers, advance information can be power. If you tell him about it in a non-scary moment, and explain to him what he can do to help if necessary, he will hopefully be less worried because he will know what to do. Potentially scary situations will be less scary if he’s prepared.
Also the more confidence you project about it, the less he will worry. If you act like it’s something to be afraid of, he’ll be afraid. If you act like you handle it well, and are prepared for issues, and it’s just an occasional inconvenience to address, he will follow your lead.
I have never been embarrassed for people to know. It’s part of my real life, it has shaped me as a person, and life’s too short to be embarrassed by the things that make you who you are. Far more embarrassing would be for something to happen and have it get far more serious than necessary because no one knows what’s going on or how to help.
Just be honest up front, you will save so much time and aggravation that way. If he has a problem, he wasn’t for you anyway
Since your condition could be life threatening I would tell him. Be honest. Tell him the signs to look out for and what to do if he’s there when it happens.
Why not tell him, it’s fairly common, and if the 2 of you are some place together and you crash he’d maybe have an idea what was going on rather than really freaking out
I would suggest telling him if you spend time alone. Just give him enough information to know what to do if something happens and you can’t tell him in the moment. If he is worth your time he handle it if he runs away you get a good look at his character.
Added note if by chance he is on the spectrum be prepared for him to want to know everything.
Why are you making such a big deal abt this, its not like youre dying from it, right? Mandy Moore, is that you?
Before my wife and I were dating. We hung out a lot. Watched movies and tv together. Went for walks. I was worried she would find out about my condition and I wasn’t sure when I should tell her. You see, I am an idiot. She was bound to find out at some point. So i had to just tell her. If my then friend now wife could handle that you will be alright. It is okay if he worries about you. We should worry about friends and family we care about. It sounds like you are both to a great start, hanging out, fishing taking walks. My wife and I are growing old together. There are various obstacles we have gone through with health issues and I struggle with afflictions but that is life. We worry of course but that is love.
Info: why does he need to know?
please tell him. i was on a 2nd date with an epileptic and didn’t know it until he had a massive seizure in the middle of the street. i had no idea what was happening or what to do and it gave me nightmares after. had he let me know i could’ve done some research and reacted much better.
Diabetes is not a deal breaker. You get hypoglycemic and y’all can get ice cream. If he thinks it’s weird then you shouldn’t be with him anyway