I’m conflicted about this one. I hate liars and normally if I catch someone in a lie I cut off all contact with them no questions asked. This man I matched with on Hinge set his profile to four years younger than his actual age. Just to be clear: age is just a number to me so I have zero issue with his real age, the only issue to me is the lying. He did say it’s because he “doesn’t date over 42” which is still not an excuse to me because there are plenty of women out there who prefer older men (including me).
Should I give him the benefit of the doubt or go ahead and write him off? To me, this speaks volumes about his character and he might be the kind of person who just says whatever he thinks will get him the desired outcome (no regard for telling the truth). Plus, I mean COME ON. Only four years?!? What’s the point of lying about something so trivial?
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If he is 80+, sure give him a break. Apps can be tricky when you grew up with radio being the “in thing.” Otherwise, no, he’s a scammy, scammy liar. And not dating over 42? Dumb. The night before her 42nd birthday, love her. The day after, too old 🤨. I quit the apps, but even before I quit them, I stopped giving anyone any benefit of the doubt.
Once my heebies have been jeebied by a dude, they stay that way. Do whatever you think is best, it kinda sounds like you want to see him, but bear in mind he probably has no problem fudging other details if he thinks the lie will be more convenient for him.
Personally I think the lying is gross and the reason is even grosser. He is lying on his profile to intentionally get dates with women who also “don’t date over XX” that happens to include his age. What are your intentions with dating? Whats he going to do when you turn 43? Idk.
The reasoning doesn’t make sense to me. Can’t he set the age range of who he’s looking for?
Separately: Any man who’s not willing to date someone his own age has objectifying and dehumanizing views about women, period. Not exactly someone you can grow old with.
He damn well knows people wouldn’t go out with him if they knew his age. He’s 100% lying because he knows the truth would mean he doesn’t get dates. Telling the truth later doesn’t change that.
If he’s too old for women he wants to swipe the right way he needs to find older women, not lie to young ones.
A hard pass for me. It’s not a white lie that you talk to people in their deadbed so they could have more hope. This one is obviously in his favour.
Yes! 1lie leads to the next.
I would consider it a deal breaker. You haven’t even met up and he started off by deceiving you with his age.
Don’t make exceptions for something you know in your gut is a red flag. 🚩
I dated someone (for years) who did this. Trust me when I say guys like this place an unhealthy emphasis on women’s youth and beauty. Consequently, they’re oftentimes emotionally unavailable and suck in bed because they’re completely focused on the wrong things.
No well-adjusted, happy, emotionally healthy guy would lie about their age on a dating app. It wouldn’t even enter their brain as a possibility.
Lying about anything on something as low stakes as a dating profile is an immediate no for me.
Like, why lie? It just makes the person look desperate as soon as they have to come clean.
He lies to get women who wouldn’t date a man his age to match with him. Then he tells them it’s a lie before they meet, so he can test their boundaries and whether be can push them.
What a catch.
I’ve had guys tell me they lie about their age on profiles so that they “stay visible.” But if I set my parameters to lower than your age, then that means I won’t want to date you when you do tell me the truth.
Gravy.
If you are someone who cuts off liars, why are you asking us? cut him off.