My girlfriend 24f and me 23m have been together for about 6 months now… I just recently found out that she’s bisexual which is fine but she lied to me about it for a little bit… found out she’s for sure attracted to girls & guys just recently & it bothered me a lot at first but I’ve come to terms with a majority of it… the only thing that I can’t shake is the “I’ve made out with all of my friends before”… sure, this is normal party girl stuff and she doesn’t really go out and party anymore, but it’s party girl stuff for a straight girl, not a girl that’s attracted to girls. I’m just curious as to if there’s a double standard here… what if I were to constantly surround myself with chicks that I’ve made out with before, me being attracted to chicks… should I break up with her? Clearly she’s going to have friends but if it makes me uncomfortable when she’s around them I don’t know what to do here
Should we break up
r/Advice
Comments
If the roles were reversed and you were still hanging with girls you’ve made out with, she’d probably be uncomfortable too. If you can’t feel secure or trust her around them, that’s not something you can just ignore long-term.
Do not build your life with a girl who doesn’t even know which team she plays for.
You need to do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. Regardless of your beliefs on sexuality, if you aren’t happy or if you feel off about the relationship it’ll only hurt you and her for you to stay with these doubts.
it’s not about orientation, it’s about boundaries and trust. If you’re uncomfortable and you can’t discuss it openly it might be worth breaking up. Not because she’s bad, but because you don’t match expectations.
I don’t know why people always assume bisexuals are twice as likely to cheat. Just probability?
A couple of things one lesbians like to play like they’re one of the girls but they’re really one of the guys and you have to treat it that way they love to play both sides of the fence and that’s BS her quote unquote quotation mark fingers in the air girlfriends are guys you got to look at it like that because they are they’re going after her just like a guy would go after her but they play like they’re not that’s the first thing second thing she could share if you play it right give me lots of fun for you lots of threesomes if that happens to happen just remember you’re just there to assist LOL
Girl on girl cheating is still cheating. You are still young. You should move on.
Dump her
She’s a whore, enjoy the ride, just don’t buy it.
She probably lied to you about it for a bit because she was scared of your reaction or she wasn’t comfortable coming out to you yet.
Is she still making out with her friends? If so, that’s cheating. However, if this was a long time ago, I don’t think you should weaponize it – especially if it happened before you came into the picture.
Just because she is bisexual doesn’t mean she’s jumping at every opportunity to make out with guys and girls. If you have trust issues, it’ll be worse because now you have to worry about men and women. It doesn’t sound like you are ready to be in that kind of relationship.
This is a delicate line to walk, because then what? Should she not associate with men or women at all because potentially she may be attracted to them? I know that not the issue here but that’s where these thoughts lead. If she has boundaries in place now, there’s no reason for you not to trust her if she hasn’t given you those reasons.
And by lying is it safe to assume that she didn’t divulge her sexuality, not actually claim to be straight? There’s a big difference imo.
It’s not normal to “make out with all my friends before”. Bisexual or not, she’s promiscuous.
You do you. I don’t think I’d be comfortable being with somebody that has 69’d with everybody else in the room at a friendly party.
Yup
Better luck with your next girlfriend
It’s pretty rare for a person to trust anybody with their sexual identity right away, that’s privileged information that you aren’t entitled to know, and likely wouldn’t know until such time as she felt safe sharing that info with you, don’t make her regret it.
On the “party girl” stuff, it’s just that; party girl stuff. She’s not going around having sex with her girlfriends behind your back, and believing that her sexuality somehow disqualifies her from party girl antics is the double standard. Look, I would understand it if she seemed like she was having an emotional affair with one of the subjects of her party girl antics, but this sounds a lot more like you have some biases about sexuality to work through, I mean this with no disrespect.
So the big issue is clearly this new information about your girlfriend is stressing you out enough to make you come to reddit about it, I believe the most important question here is this; can you take enough solace in what you learned to exhale that stress out, relax your shoulders, feel any possible pit in your stomach disappear, and consider the matter resolved? Because if it’s still too much then you’d be doing both yourself and your partner a disservice to stay together if you’re going to be giving her friends suspicious side-eye every time they’re around.
Best of luck.
>this is normal party girl stuff
You can choose not to settle down with those sorts of people. I’d actually highly recommend it.
The issue is her making out with all her friends, not her being bisexual. I wouldn’t want to start a long term relationship with someone like that, but you do you.
Sounds like it’s an insecurity on your part, my ex wife was BI and lets just say, it played to my advantage.
Fucking grow up already she chose you. The only important part is do you have a good partner? I mean, she could cheat with a man a woman is there really a difference. Being bisexual doesn’t make you unfaithful or un loyal.
Making out with all your friends is not normal bisexual behavior. It’s crossing boundaries and having poor impulse control. On top of that she already lied to you.
This is not a good relationship or a good person to be in one with.
If you going to stay with her, which I would advise against, get regularly tested for STDs.
Sexual preferences are on a continuum and it is normal to explore a bit. Private information is given out as trust forms. Six months of dating! Six months and you want to throw it back. As you have been given the honour of her private past I would say that you should break up. You are an immature little child and she deserves better. I would say more but I don’t want to be banned.
So you were fine knowing she had made out with a bunch of her friends she still spends time with before knowing she was bisexual and it only became an issue for you when you figured out she was bisexual?
>but it’s party girl stuff for a straight girl, not a girl that’s attracted to girls. I’m just curious as to if there’s a double standard here…
Ya think? You assume when it’s a party and you like to see it, those are straight girls who just want to perform for you. Now you are ready to break up with a girl for doing it because she enjoyed it and didn’t do it for the entertainment of boys?
Go ahead and let her go, because she doesn’t need you trying to fit her inhe box of your preconceived notions.
Dude: you are dating (you label her as your girlfriend) and she lied to you. Forget her curiosity or bisexuality- doesn’t matter. Untruthful is the problem not sexual preferences. Move on young man, move on!
My dude, this right here is an opportunity. If you play your cards right, you can disappoint 2 girls at the same time
Her past matters.
You’re young and 6 months is nothing. If you’re uncomfortable you should leave.
If she is saying shes bisexual but only wants to be with you, and you only want to be with her then there’s no problem here.
But if she’s saying that because she’s bisexual then aside from you she needs to also have sex with women -and you can have sex with whoever else you want? Then it’s only a problem if you don’t want a polyamourous situation and just want the two of you to be one on one with each other.
If she is saying that she should be able to have sex with women because she is bisexual but you aren’t allowed to have sex with women (but she’d let you do it with men if you were bisexual) then that also is a problem.
As far as you being uncomfortable with the idea that she hangs out with people she made out with before I think you have every reason to be. Because yeah, like you said there is no difference between that and you hanging around with a bunch of girls you have made out with before.
I think that her being bisexual and the fact that she’s made out with all her friends are two different things. Personally if my boyfriend was friends with a group of girls and he’s kissed them I defintely would not want him hanging around them but in this situation, I think it’s important you let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and why, and her reaction will tell you everything that you need to know. Best of luck !