I have a friend who won the lottery. I am not going to say how much, but let’s just say he won. And he admitted to me that the biggest mistake that he made when he won the lottery was telling his family. Do you think that that is right?
Should you tell your family that you won the lottery?
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I have a friend who won the lottery. I am not going to say how much, but let’s just say he won. And he admitted to me that the biggest mistake that he made when he won the lottery was telling his family. Do you think that that is right?
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Finally i can be the first one to post this legendary comment:
This comment explains beautifully everything you could want to know about winning big
I wouldn’t tell them, but there would be signs.
Yeah, I don’t think I’d tell anyone, some would shortly notice but I’d never tell them I got much
The moment you do, you suddenly have a HUGE Family and TONS of friends.
Even I might be your family, who knows….
Yes. Never say to anyone. Once that’s done everyone seems to feel entitled to some just because.
Depends how much it is, 25+ million I’m disappearing!
If I won more than a million my family is getting a split. I love my family. Like at least a nice gift.
If I win like a huge lottery they’re getting a lot too.
No only tell the least number of people you can. Give yourself time to get your head around the win first. In the long run it is better than people don’t know how you got the money
I wouldn’t tell anyone because unfortunately it will create drama.
Family or not, who you tell depends on how well you trust them. I have family members I’d tell absolutely and those I wouldn’t absolutely, friends as well. The good ones would be happy for me and not ask for a thing. The bad ones would be insisting I share the wealth.
There is a really funny Dave Ramsey video about this.
I think it’s totally fine to be private about it if it’s for a small amount of time and it’s for a reason. Like until your kids are through school and find a career.
Here is the link
https://youtu.be/GO1TYP6Fd5Y?feature=shared
Sometimes the people who are close to you could be the one to bring you down.
Hell no! Family just means entitlement. They expect handouts because we share the same blood. Wanna test this theory out, joke that you came into an influx of money, watch the calls jump up.
My mother in law did in the millions of dollars here in Japan. I was the last to know about it. It’s a kept secret.
I would only tell my parents, cause if I won enough id settle their debts and help em out.
I would tell my mum and dad especially if I won the euro millions. That could be like £250 millions. But also have no issue not seeing people because they are there just for the money
Nope…
They might notice a change, but the confirmation would never come…
Hell! No!
I wouldn’t tell them, because they’d expect money.
Keep it quiet for as long as possible. But be generous without being flashy.
No, I wouldn’t.
I didnt
Depending how much it was I wouldn’t tell them
Id just surprise them with a holiday or cash gift.
And my friends too
If people tried to get scabby Id just tell them no sorry its all tied up in investments or I donated it to worthy charities!
not even my mother. I know what white trash looks like. I have a mirror.
Do you tell them when you get paid?
I would tell them and presuming it would be a large amount of money, I would share some of it. However I would also make this statement repeatedly until they got sick of hearing it. “I’m sharing some of this wealth here today, however I will tell you with 100% conviction that beyond this I won’t be covering anyone’s expenses or fueling their financial dreams.
This is a one time event. If you come to me for money for any reason at all you will get a flat NO! At that point you will try to claim I am a bad person. I won’t hear those words. If that upsets you then you should refuse this gift I am giving you today. If you accept the money, you will also be accepting the fact that this is where it ends no matter what the circumstances you find yourself in, so make the most of what I am giving you today.”
I would also include that in writing with the check I send them.
Of course some will come back regardless and explain why I should give more. They would be stonewalled immediately and then try to cry how evil I am being. That’s OK. That’s more on them than on me. If a family member did that after the prior statement, they have no goodness for you regardless.
It’s gonna be hard to hide the 570S weekend wagon, so there might not be a lot of hiding it.
It is. Folks on the fringes of your bloodline that you’ve never met will be trying for a piece.
“Family” can mean my mom and also my third cousin that I haven’t spoken to since Obama’s first term
OP, please DM me your friend’s number. I am his/her/their long lost brother and would love to speak to them right now
Really depends on your family. I’d let my immediate family know, but I understand why a lot of people wouldn’t.
My family is more than well off. And my friends I all respect. I’d try and find a way to sneak money to them all to give them surprise cash. I guess I’d label it something as a gift and do whatever you want with it. But I’d definitely not tell anybody.
I’d go and claim it anonymously. Then I’d tell my sister that I won 20 million and give her 5 to her and 5 to my dad.
I got a settlement from a car accident and it wasnt a month later my parents who kicked me out BTW asked me for 10k
I never even told them how much I got they just assumed it was alot because of how serious the accident was
So no dont tell people about windfalls
I probably wouldn’t
Mom dad sister, thats it. After that im disappearing
Absolutely not. He shouldn’t have told anyone except for a lawyer.
It’s one thing if you won medium money, like 100k to say 800k. But once you start getting into the kind of money that allows you to retire immediately and spend on luxury items and expensive vacations, how are you going to hide it?
I wouldn’t, no. I would tell my wife and get a small team that consists of a lawyer, cpa, and financial planner. You want to learn the best way for collecting it that will give you the most privacy, you want to choose the right method of collection that makes the most financial sense AND fits with your personality type, you want to PAY YOUR TAXES as accurately as you can upfront, and you want to redo your wills/trusts. Will the family eventually find out when you upgrade houses/cars, and have lifestyle creep? Likely. But by taking some common-sense steps in the beginning, you can save yourself a lot of trouble. Remember, most abuse comes from family.
I wouldn’t.
Apart from family members coming to expect you’ll pay, showing off, breeding resentment, encouraging entitlement… why would you?
I see ZERO positives.
I can count on one hand the number of people that I would tell and still have fingers left over. To everyone else, I started my own freelance business. That’s where my money comes from, that’s why I have all this flexibility, etc.
But I also have no desire to live extravagantly. And after my future and immediate family are taken care of and things are in place for my nieces’ futures, my attention would turn to quietly finding ways to give it away for the maximum impact.
I would, I have a loving family and would love to help them and my close friends.
I wouldn’t but there would be signs
The only people who would know right away would be my spouse, my children, and my lawyer. I’ll take the advice of the latter in regard to informing others.
he needs to get a lawyer and make it so he can’t get the money out, but it works for him. It’s how such things are done.
I have good family and would split it with them, tbh, but not everyone has a good family.
It really depends on your family.
If your family has never been in the money before, it might be good to shut up.
You should definitely not tell them before you’ve spoken in detail to a financial advisor and have made a plan for how to allocate the money. After that, when you’ve decided that for example you have 10% available for helping friends and family, you can tell them in direct ways such as “Mom & dad, I’ve gotten lucky and I’ve decided to help pay your mortgage down by 100k, thanks for all you did”. As long as you have the conviction not to budge on those principles.
u/Top_Decision_6718 You gotta tell us more about your friend! What happened to him? Whats he spending the money on? What’s his family saying to him?
I would live poorly in front of them
I wouldn’t tell a soul.
Yes and I’ll share it with them. But I’ll be telling my exes first. Probably run tv and radio ads too.
No, but there’ll be signs that indicate it
Depends on whether you’re okay sharing the money with them
Really the only people you should tell (other than those you’re comfortable sharing the money with) are an accountant, a financial advisor, and potentially a lawyer
No you shouldnt. You should go on living your life like before with a few low key upgrades, and invest most of it.
I wouldn’t tell anyone at all. I would help people out and all that but I would never tell them I won the lottery.
Wife yes. Nobody else
I wouldn’t want to tell them, but I live in a state where they love outing people lol!
I wouldn’t want to tell them but I would like to think that I would send my family money gifts to help them with small debts or purchases… but then people start to take advantage if you do too much :/
My folks took care of me, I’d take care of my family. That’s just how I am. That said, I don’t have a huge extended family to worry about. My mom’s brothers never had kids, and my dad’s only brother sadly passed before I was born, so no cousins or anything on my side.
Depends on your relationship. My mom and sister would know since one of the first things I would do if I won big is pay off their houses and my salary ain’t doing that. My wife would obviously know too, if I couldn’t trust her enough to tell her then why would I be in a long term relationship with her.
Probably depends on your family.
I would not. I would even request that I remain anonymous if its available to do so. After its all settled i would give me family members money. But they wouldn’t know I won.
Oh God yeah…. Tell no one.
Money does not change you, money changes every one else’s perception of you
So say nothing pay off stuff say you doing well on stock market or something just don’t tell them you’re now newly minted
Only if you trust & have a good rapport with your family. Especially immediate family. I wouldn’t bother telling extended family unless you trust them more.
Hell naaaaaaaaaaaah! All of a sudden your 14th cousin from a different continent will show up. Family can truly be sometimes the greediest and most judgemental people in your life. They would tell you how to spend it, who to help out etc etc etc.
Be smart don’t blow it all on cocaine and hookers…… Only 5%…. Maybe 6%
Tell your closest family member maybe. But not the whole gang. If you tell em, either they’ll shame you for not helping them or be dead in a week.
If i won something crazy like 300 mil after taxes i’d prob break off 30-40mil for them and not tell them the full amount. or say I won like 50-60 and let them think im giving them 10ish mil each.
if it was a smaller jackpot like 10 mil after taxes I’d give away 1-2mil and not tell them the full amount
No, absolutely not. You need a plan on how to explore your new found wealth without alerting others.
You’ll always be ‘a flash show off’ or ‘a tight git’. You’ll never be able to do the right thing. Just because family doesn’t mean they are good people or have your best interests at heart.
I’m not sure I could hide it from my family and impove my life in any significant way.
Yes. If I won the Lotto, I wouldn’t tell anyone. There might be signs, but I would never admit it outright. Anyone who knows would come begging for money.
I wouldn’t tell them, but I’d handle their bills/debts and take care of whatever else they need as anonymously as I could.
He told you so he can’t keep a secret in any case.
Broadly speaking as a general rule: tell nobody who doesn’t have a need to know. Get legal and financial advice before telling anyone that isn’t your spouse. Telling anyone risks a lot of interpersonal issues, financial risk, and violence risk.
Your SPOUSE, fiancée, or life partner has a need to know.
Your boyfriend/girlfriend does not need to know unless they are already your life partner. You really want them to make major decisions to be with you based on you, not your money.
Your friends do not need to know.
Your extended family do not need to know.
Your kids do not need to know.
Your parents do not need to know.
Your siblings do not need to know.
If you want more detailed/personalized advice, DM me. I don’t want your money but I do want you to keep your money safe. Most people who win the lottery go bankrupt within 10 years. Having money does NOT make you good at managing money if you were not good with money before. It is remarkably easy to drain your finances.
Fuck no – never tell anyone in your immediate circle.
I wouldn’t tell mine. Set up a shell company to give them all some money or whatever
Back when I was married my wife was the absolute last person on Earth I would tell. She would have told 100 people the first day
No , I’ll do my best to hide it and tell them I’m moving to Switzerland, I live in Europe.
Honestly I’d be okay with telling people. But mostly because all the crap in my life has been filtered out at this point and barely anybody has any notion of how to find me or even contact me these days.
The family I still speak to are all financially more sensible than me so would probably do me some good to share the news. The friends I have kept around aren’t much of a concern either.
Depends on who you are and who your family is. I have no issue setting boundaries and my family is small, close, and supportive. I would tell my family because I would be giving them some money (assuming it’s a significant amount) and I have no concerns over it causing strife or major issues.
They will look at you differently as soon as you do, expectations, a lot of things. You will have less headaches if you stfu, but if you win a 100mil that’d be hard to keep a lid on
Let’s say I win $50 mill in Canada, it won’t get taxed so I keep it all.
$2mill goes to each of my direct family. 2 brothers and parents, I want them to be a little comfortable and own a property of sorts.
Besides that I have no family on my Dad’s side, literally, he was 49 when I was born and he has 1 older sister who never had kids, who is in her 80’s now in New Zealand.
On the other side I have 3 cousins who I see once every two or three years, and they all make 6 digits in good jobs in Boston I’m not worried about them.
I have an Aunt and Uncle who I see maybe every 3 years if I’m lucky, they’re amazing, such fun, it’s actually a shame I don’t get to see them more but they live an 18 hour drive away. Also very wealthy at this point and their kids live in Dubai so I never see them. That’s it. I wouldn’t even mind sending $1mil to each of those families so they take roughly 200000 each.
Im very lucky to of come from a middle class lifestyle, the rest of my family is doing much better than mine so I don’t think money would be a big issue. All in all out of the $50 mil I’d be left with $40 which to me is still comfortable living.
I’ve read a few stories about lottery winners losing everything because of predatory family members demanding more and more and more until it’s all gone.
In one sad case, a woman was left broke after her family all squeezed her for houses and cars and huge cash handouts. Once her account was drained, her family didn’t even believe that her money had run out. She spent everything on them, and they suddenly accused her of being greedy and refusing to share, so she was then left broke and exiled from her own family.
So unless you won enough that everyone can have several million, I’d recommend pretending you got a well-paying job out of state. You can take good care of your family without letting on that you’re a millionaire. Even if you believe your family is good people, you don’t need to know what they can turn into certain circumstances.
If we’re talking like… enough that I am personally set for life but not so much that I have enough to be giving away millions to other people? I would tell my spouse (if applicable) and that’s it.
Create a plausible cover story for friends/other family members like taking a buyout at my job and going into semi-retirement.
If the winnings were more like the hundreds of millions of dollars range, I’d give 1-time gifts to my closest friends, parents, and siblings. And be very, very explicit that this is a one time thing just to thank them for being in my life. Then hire a money manager that I can direct any future requests to and his job will be telling everyone no. In this scenario I’d also go dark on social media and get a new phone #.
No, I wouldn’t tell family. I would either move to another city and tell family that you are moving for work. Or, I’d set up trust funds and stock investments and live 100% off of the dividends
Family ? What family ?
Arguably, you don’t really have much choice. Unless you are in one of those cool states that lets you claim it anonymously or that win is just a scratcher, someone will tell them for you. That’s why your cousin that you haven’t seen in a decade suddenly wants your phone number.
Even if you do claim it anonymously, they’ll notice something changed. How did the guy who worked in the old glue factory suddenly afford to buy that house and that truck?
Should doesn’t really come into the picture.
hell no!!!!!
If they value their continued existence, they shouldn’t tell ANYONE!
Go read the wiki in r/personalfinance about Windfalls.
I would give each of my close family 20k in stocks and a few k of cash and see how they spent it first. Wouldn’t tell much.
Yes, your friend is right. Nobody except you, your lawyer and God should know you won the lottery.
Yeah that was a bad mistake, unfortunately once it’s known you won the lottery everyone is gonna come out of the woodwork begging you for some of that money.
I would invest it, talk to a planner and then see how I feel. I know if I have $ people know that. That’s how I was scammed.
I wouldn’t tell a soul. But if I heard a friend or family member was struggling for money they would get an anonymous brown envelope posted through their door with a certain amount to help them out.
No.
I wouldn’t. If i was married, I’d eventually tell the spouse, but I’d have already been to an attorney and talked to them about the options for protecting the money, or at least half of it, and setting up trusts for the people we’d plan on giving money to.
The problem being once people find out you won money, since you lucked into it, some people think they deserve it just as much as you do, and you should “share” it with them. So, not telling anyone will just prevent you from them constantly hitting you up for a handout.
Then theres the fact that some people lose their mind when they come into a lot of money like that. That’s why you can find stories of people winning the lottery and then ending up broke and bankrupt not long after winning.
So you want to do what you can to protect that money from as much stupidity as possible. Or at least half of it on the off chance that it ruins the marriage.
I would hire a finacial advisor to help me give my immediate family and very close cousins and friends a share and then set up a debt free life with more than enough investments/passive income to have my generational family happy
Nope. Keep that circle very, very small.
You do not tell anyone you’re not married to.
No. Don’t tell anyone other than an attorney and financial advisor . Set up a trust and get a representative to accept the award. Support your family and legacy as you please, after all is secured and accounts are in place.
You don’t
Yes I would. But only my immediate family : parents & sister. I trust them and would share the money with them
No, keep secrets
I wouldnt tell anyone but my significant other. But they would know lol
No.
Depends on the family.
I’d tell the missus/my mum – I wouldn’t tell anyone else (and I don’t talk to them anyway) but if they knew I had that kind of money they’d definitely pop out of the woodwork.
Of course I’d have to play the lottery to win it and I can do basic probability math so I never have (which isn’t a criticism of anyone who does play – if it’s fun and not hurting anyone you do you).
I think it depends on your family. My family I would easily tell my mom and my sister but probably wouldn’t tell my brother or my dad. Granted I know my sister and my mom are incredibly supportive and they would be getting a cut. My dad I would want to help but he can’t keep a secret to save his life. As for my brother I would also want to help him but I know his personality and he would constantly be asking for money if he knew. Also he has horrible spending habits so if I were to help him financially it would have to be with a ton of guardrails in place to make sure he doesn’t blow all the money at once.
I imagine that would depend heavily on your family and your relationship with them, how big it is etc
To me no it’s not a mistake telling them. However it would be a mistake not making it clear its your money and you won’t share with anyone who asks for money. If i want to help i will but not because u keep asking me for money or trying to guilt trip me.
But i guess it depends on your family i know my family at least the people who i care about enough to tell them, wouldn’t ask for money nor tell others about it
I’m a woman, but no I wouldn’t tell them.
My sister died unexpectedly and named me in her life insurance policy (I knew this, she told me exactly why she chose me). Small potatoes, only $25k. I felt guilty that my parents didn’t know so I chose to tell them. The first thing my mom said was to give it to her to “divide it up”. I politely said no and that I wasn’t making any decisions for a while, then she insists I split it with my brother.
She ended up cutting me and my family out of the estate since she was, by default, the executor.
I wish SO HARD that I could go back and not tell anyone about it. Like not a single person, even my partner.
I’d certainly make sure my parents were taken care of. I’d probably throw the sibling a new car. Beyond that, no one other than my wife and kids will be getting a dime out of me.
it 100% depends on your family.
I probably wouldn’t tell anyone.
Your finances – whatever they look like – are your business, no one else’s. If you don’t have conversations with family members about personal finances before the win, you don’t owe them that information after the win. If you want to give family members money, you can explain that you won or “came into a windfall” and you want to gift them some money, but that future conversations about finances or requests are off the table. It’s simply a matter of boundary-setting and sticking to it.
I wouldn’t.
They will eventually find out anyway. What you should do is get a lawyer and accountant. Have the accountant set you up based on your goals. The lawyer files preemptive restraining orders on everyone you know.
Then you should buy a business doing something a bit extravagant and let it fail and sell it off. Don’t hide this, let it be known you lost all your money.
Of course you didn’t lose it all, but everyone thinks you did and leaves you alone now.
I don’t really talk money with my family. If I was in this position and someone in my family needed help I of course would help them. Otherwise I’d treat them to vacations and stuff like that if I could afford it.
I won 10 grand from the lottery and told my parents. “10k? are you buying RP Cards? save the moneh and don’t be an idiot” is what they told me
I’d tell mine, but my family is kind of great. For some of y’alls families though, hell no.
shouldn’t be playing, but if you win, you say nothing nothing nothing, never tell anyone
My family, yeah. I like them and we’re all quite frugal. If give them a little bit if they wanted but be especially clear that they may ask for money at any time if they don’t want a lump sum.
Immediate family. Extended family can fuck right off with one of my new guards.
I wouldn’t tell anyone on my side of the family, but I’m pretty sure we’d help out my wife’s sister’s family.
I would tell only the people in my life who I know would give me the shirt off their back if I was in some shit and also probably downplay the amount won by a bit.
Sure, as I would split it evenly among them, what happens after that, is up to them.
Why did he say that it was a mistake? Family begging?
Absolutely. Never tell anyone about windfalls aside from your spouse, and only if they can keep their own mouth shut. And I’m speaking from similar personal experience, here.
Was in IT from 1990 onwards. Ended up in a company that – right before the DotCom bust – was sold off for an absolutely gob-smaking amount of money. By that time I was one of the most senior developers there, more in an architect role than anything more hands-on.
Somehow, when the list of “investors” were curated for payouts from that sale, my name managed to work its way onto that list. None of the other developers were on that list, so IDK how that happened. By the time someone realized I shouldn’t have been there, the sale had been conducted, disbursement contracts had been signed, and everything was being redistributed. I wasn’t privy to the discussions that happened, but I can only imagine it would have been more of a headache to remove me from that list than to just pay me the slice that had been allocated.
It amounted to quite a few zeroes in my bank account. More than I had expected to ever make in my entire career, TBH. Yes, Canadian IT tends to be paid absolutely shite, almost as bad as Europe, unless you are employed by an American company or a Canadian subsidiary of an American company.
I told only my wife about it. She had already been making well into the six figures for a number of years by that point, being well above and beyond my own paycheque and being the de-facto “primary wage earner” of our family. So I pulled a bit for some celebratory purchases, stuck the other 98+% of it into an investment account – mainly index-tracked DRIP funds that automatically balanced themselves – and promptly forgot about it. Because hey, wife’s income alone was more than enough, and we had no problem living relatively frugally.
I became a widower about six years later.
In the legal aftermath, when I had to re-evaluate my finances for my new situation, I discovered to my shock that I had become even more wealthy thanks to those investments and the DRIP status of the account. And while my extended family knew about my late wife’s income, and kinda knew I was “not poor”, none of them knew anything more than the amount I was using to dote on nieces and nephews, and the occasional no-strings-attached financial assistance I was giving to them.
Two years later, I decided to start trying to date. This was now in my very late 30s, and I was “showing off” just a little bit. Clothes that were absolutely top-notch. A high-end Mercedes I certainly did not need. The ability to just drop into a restaurant that would normally need reservations months in advance.
And whooo, boy, did that ever bring out the gold diggers. Or at least, women who were far more financially mercenary than my late wife, with the Machiavellian personalities to match.
Everything changed for the better once I learned my lesson — I disposed of those trappings of wealth and re-worked myself into a working-class everyman. For example, I went back to driving my late-80s VW Jetta Carat, which I keep very close to being factory-pristine condition. I wore completely normal clothes. Clean and in excellent repair, but completely bog-standard Levis and Denver Hayes and Wind River stuff. I still live in the small 2,200ft² house I bought with my late wife before her career went totally nutso.
Sure, the attention I got from women dropped by a good 90+%. Many of them started looking down their noses at me, as if they – deep in negative equity with tens of thousands in CC debt – deserved better than an ostensibly hard-working guy who was clearly paying for everything in cold hard cash. But I had far fewer headaches and interpersonal conflicts of values playing a working-class everyman than I did when I was actually displaying my wealth such that people knew I was wealthy.
So don’t tell anyone. It’s for the best. Your cortisol levels will thank you.
Tell no one.
When money is involved, people become vultures.