our baby was born this year. Every month-aversary she feels the need to invite people to my apartment and show up unannounced and uninvited to celebrate him. she decided to call my mom today, invite her over as well and asked her not to tell me
Am I being a bad person for being so angry? I wish I could have this day just for me and my family. With my husband celebrating our baby in a quiet, calm, and private environment. Especially because we both work and are generally tired and just missing our bubble when we’re not home.
He is also a baby and does not need an event once a month with a bunch of adults in a small apartment drinking wine lol
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A locked door is a firm boundary. She can try to invite herself over, it doesn’t mean she gains entrance.
Stop answering the door for crying out loud. You are not obligated to open the door just because she wants to show up uninvited. It’s not rude, she’s the one being rude.
She asked your mom not to tell you? It seems clear that this isn’t an accident, she is doing this on purpose.
She needs to be told very sternly that this does not happen again.
OP, I truly understand not wanting to rock the boat. But this isn’t a misunderstanding if she is literally telling your mother not to tell you and just wants people to show up. Either you or your partner need to say “if you invite people over for the baby’s month-versary again, I will not answer the door”. Do not fluff it up by saying “this is important to us, this is a boundary, etc”. Keep this short and sweet AND FOLLOW THROUGH. If you need to make an excuse with people standing outside, say the baby is going through a sleep regression or a cold and cannot be disturbed and absolutely do not let them in. If your MIL has a key to your place, do not stay home. Take your little one to a park, to an understanding friend’s house, etc. If your MIL has been told already, then it sounds like they do not care what you want, so you will need to make a peaceful day/evening for yourself.