My SO and I planned a vacation back in April for SK for her birthday. It was to be a weeklong vacation. A month afterward, SIL found out and invited herself to the vacation, along with my brother and my two nieces. I invited my mother all expenses paid.
It is important to note that when SIL invited herself I had already planned and paid for most of the activities. Most of the plans were non-refundable. I sent SIL my itinerary in case they wanted to tag along in any of our plans. There was one activity my nieces could not participate in because of their ages. There was another activity my SIL did not deem appropriate for my nieces, and a third she just didn’t want to do.
SIL was pissed that I did not cancel the activity my nieces could not participate in. She was also pissed I would not cancel the ones she did not want to participate in.
My SO and I had a disagreement on our first day there, and SIL leeched onto him all day. SIL and SO knew each other back in highschool as SIL used to date one of my SO’s best friends. SIL spent the WHOLE DAY talking shit to my SO about my family – including my brother (her husband) – and me and trying to get SO to breakup with me. She also told my mom my SO did not want her in our room, and got her to change rooms. Finally, SIL called the rest of the family back home to tell them about my disagreement with SO, attempting to involve the whole family.
When my SO and I sat down to talk and figured out what she was doing, we talked to my mom. We did not kick her out of the room – we invited her! SIL got suspicious that we were telling my mom everything so she proceeded to block both of us and tell us from now on there will be 0 contact. SIL cut me off from my nieces.
The next day, my mom stayed with SIL because she didn’t want to be cut off from her granddaughters. She ended up changing her flight and leaving early. I felt betrayed and asked her not to contact me again.
ALL of my family blames me for telling my mom what SIL said, saying everyone talks shit. They also questioned whether SO was lying and that I had no way of knowing if he was. Even though I trust my SO, I also have proof he wasn’t lying as SIL told him very personal things about my ex-fiancé and I’s breakup ten years ago that only she knew and I had never told SO.
Right now I don’t talk to my family. I feel really awful about my nieces. I miss them.
So, AITAH for telling my mom and for cutting them off?
Comments
If you told the truth and owned your truth respectfully, NTA
You let your family crash your SOs bday trip. That’s on you and it was shitty.
ESH.
This isnt adding up for me.
She invited herself on your trip. But ya know also your brother and your nieces. So was this a family trip and you werent expecting just her to attend? But you then sent them the whole itinerary and planned activities for them?
You had a fight with your SO – she lied about your mom to your SO but your mom believed her? And the whole family does too?
I think she sounds messy but if I had to put money on it, you two hate each other for whatever reason and we’re getting a very unreliable narrator here and youve left out portions, for example what this fight was about.
Of course you’re NTA.
Your Mom feels like she is in a tough spot, and does not want to be cut off from her grandkids.
However, she runs the risk of being cut off from any future grandkids you may provide her in the future.
UpdateMe
Update me
YTA. You let SIL call all the shots and now complain when things go awry. Your brother is not the only “doormat”. You should just go with the flow, create no waves, and enjoy her millions.
NTA – your SIL using her children as a weapon making everyone fall in line is sick. Stand your ground and your family will soon come crawling back when they wake up to what your SIL is doing.
Does SIL want your partner.
NTA! So your mom and family just instantly believed your SIL over you? Wow. They are all AHs.
Honestly, f/ck all of them. It sucks about your nieces, but they’re kids and they can’t make that decision to talk to you. But now SIL needs a new babysitter. They made their choice. I’d block them and continue on with your life with your SO. Tell your brother and mother to enjoy having a backstabbing c/nt like SIL in their lives over you.
Your SO shouldn’t be talking to your SIL anymore either. What does he think of the situation?
NTA. Updateme.