Since I was assaulted, I’ve cut off. Am I overreacting?

I was sexually assaulted by someone I considered a school friend. Ever since, I’ve noticed myself getting triggered more easily—even though I’ve always been a pretty laid-back person.

After the incident, I confided in a few people. Their responses really shifted how I saw them.

Two Hinge dates made subtle “told you so” comments about the guy’s intentions. I didn’t bother defending myself or explaining. They were casual connections, so I just cut them off.

But the one that hurt the most was a close female friend from my bachelor’s. Her reaction was essentially:

“Delhi men are like this only”

“These men don’t understand consent—it was bound to happen.”

I tried to brush off her comments at first, but two more incidents with her really stayed with me:

1. One night, I was reading up on SA law and realized what happened to me could legally be categorized as rape. I texted her, shocked and upset. She didn’t respond at all. A little later, she posted a dance video on social media.
   When I avoided her calls later, she said she was in a meeting and forgot to reply, and that I should’ve called if it was urgent. She sent me cake to say sorry, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her for a month.
   We eventually started interacting in our mutual group chats again, but it was different.

2. Some time later, she posted that she had proposed to a man who had been ignoring her for a month (this was the 3rd or 4th time she had done this with different guys). I messaged her privately, writing a lot about self-worth and boundaries—hoping to be a good friend. She ignored all of it and told me she didn’t want to talk about “all that” and just wanted me to support her. I couldn’t. I ghosted her again.

To be fair—she’s been there for me in many other ways. She’s brought gifts, cooked for me, always initiated conversations, always picked up calls. But emotionally, I’ve always felt like she doesn’t really listen.

Then there was a male friend (who used to like me back in school) who supported me during a rough mental patch. I opened up to him too, but his response was:

“Worse things could’ve happened. Be glad it didn’t. Move on—otherwise this will cost you your happy life.”
He apologized later, but I just couldn’t unhear it. I’ve blocked him too.

And lastly, I cried to my cousin (male, younger) about feeling alone. I said I didn’t feel like anyone really wanted to hear me out—he replied:

“Are you on your periods or what? Why so emotional?”
I cut the call and haven’t spoken to him either.

One thing I’ve noticed is—no one ever brought up what happened again unless I brought it up first. Not once has someone checked in just to ask how I’ve been coping or if I’m okay. They were willing to listen when I talked about it, sure—but no one has ever really been there for me.

Now, I’m unemployed, living in my hometown, just studying. I have a few close friends, but I feel like I can’t talk to people every day. I don’t want to depend on them—and sometimes I feel this intense urge to just cut off everyone and be alone. But then I also feel guilty about it.

I want to be there for people—but at the same time, I don’t want to be around anyone at all.

Am I overreacting? Or just finally drawing boundaries I didn’t know I needed?