sis made fun of my assault, i feel its done irreparable damage to our relationship.

gonna keep this short nd sweet. back in february my sis (21f) was drunk and saying some insensitive things abt my (17f) situation. so, i told her, “just because you handle your trauma differently doesnt mean you have to be rude and gossip about me.”

then she was like, “bitch fuck you. go get fucked. just like ur man did u.” talking abt my rapist literally.

that made me feel so angry & hurt because i would never fix my mouth to say something like that. that’s how much respect i have for her. even drunk, i know that’s just a disgusting immoral thing to say. i had been there for her through literally everything. . so yeah. ended up falling out with her for months because me speaking up against my assaulter resulted in that big blowout.

she ended up apologizing couple months ago. we rekindled. we talk here and there. but, she keeps saying i “dont open up to her”, as if she literally didnt throw that back in my face? am i overreacting? like how am i supposed to feel comfortable opening up to her about anything serious after that? esp since she has a tendency of doing that. who WOULDNT be hesitant after that, yk???

plus, she never even asks. “how are you? you doing okay?” literally never. its always me checking in. and i get that you’re supposed to have this unspoken respect for your sister, but fuck man. she doesn’t even know how to reciprocate and it hurts. she can talk to me about anything, i can hardly talk to her abt anything. when do i, she hardly even responds, or she just doesn’t really care or continue engaging.

i always let her use my belongings. the second i ask for hers, shes practically yelling at me. shes usually doing xans, getting drunk, and with her abusive “bf”, i feel like ive lost my sister to the whole baddie lifestyle, i feel like what she said has caused irreparable damage to our relationship.

i want her to understand me better. i want us to have a better relationship. but she has severe accountability issues, constantly is diminishing my point, surrounds herself with people who don’t give a shit about her well being, treats those who DO give a shit about her well being like crap. i have no idea what to do.