I’m writing this because I need to vent, I need to be heard, I need to survive the next week. But I’ll preface by saying that I do have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and this will definitely be the main subject.
I live with my parents because I have yet to find stable work after gratuating. My sister came home yesterday to spend the week with us.
One hour into her being here, the conversation turned to the holidays planned in 3 weeks or so. Sister booked an AirBnB for 2 weeks, invited her friends the first week, family the next. Mom asked how much she paid, they talked about how much Sister is owed, mom said “so we [parents] need to pay you X” and (I don’t remember exactly) Sister understood she meant to also pay my part. Sister said I was an adult and could pay for my own holidays. My reaction was “?” because I wasn’t really part of the conversation until then. I was just around Mom and Sister because they were around where I work in the home.
(I do pay for my own trips when I (very rarely) go somewhere, but these are much smaller budgets than the hundreds of bucks my share would be here.)
Mom said they’ll pay for me because I’ve only been working full time (freelancing because I haven’t found anything else yet in my 2 years of soul crushing jobhunting 🙃) for a month or so, Sister didn’t understand, said “if you had your own place you would have had to find full time work a lot sooner”, I felt hurt (she knows I’ve been looking, she knows I’m waitressing part time), she kept saying I was misinterpreting her words.
Ok. I cried about it a bit today but nothing too bad, just rethinking whether I should even go on that holiday with the family and her.
Today talking ball games she said we should all play during the holidays. Dad said we don’t have balls because ours at home were for kids. Sister said these should fit me because I have small hands. (She truly, 100% meant well by saying that.) I said “what!”, Dad laughed and said it has nothing to do with finger size and as an adult I need adult balls, Sister said to me there is no need to take it like that, I said I didn’t take badly, she said okay right, I repeated myself very calmy, she rolled her eyes and said yeah right.
I said you’re being unkind and left to my room when I fell apart and cried.
Mom heard and came, Sister heard and came and asked what was wrong, Mom (who is very non confrontational) said you weren’t nice, it escalated again and Sister told me I was misinterpreting, that she never said the word “kid” and never called me one, that I’m overreacting. Meanwhile I’m crying in my room. Mom and Sister took the fight to the hallway briefly and Sister said she might as well leave if it’s gonna be like that.
This all feels so very childish. It has been like that since forever and I keep feeling like a child next to her unable to say how I feel because she’ll dismiss it. It came to tears quickly this time but it’s just always been the same with her. To the point when a coworker of hers said to us (parents and me) that Sister was a ray of sunshine I’ve never seen my parents so surprised, uneasy and out of balance.
I can’t just take a break from her. We have an outing planned tonight that I can’t hardly miss, family dinner this week… How do I survive. How do I deal with this? I’m reconsidering her invitation too.
Comments
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Your not misinterpreting anything she’s just simply treating you like a child and your not one she ask probably holds resentment towards you you live with your parents who are understanding and see how you searched to get a job but haven’t had much luck all she sees is you living with parents and them funding you even though that’s not true you do work part time
Is she jealous?