I (23F) met this guy (23M) on Hinge, and we’ve been talking for 4 months. We’re both looking for long-term relationships, and he’s told me multiple times that he likes me—which I feel the same way about. We’ve gone on several dates, had deep conversations, and even talked about the future. He’s told his family about me, so I felt like things were heading somewhere serious.
He’s about to leave for a 6-month internship out of state, and I’ve been clear with him that I want to be in a relationship before he leaves. I don’t think it’s fair to keep talking and doing relationship things without a label. Back in May, he said he’d prefer to start a relationship when he returns but also said he understood where I was coming from.
In early July, I brought it up again, and he said he’s scared of being in a relationship and losing me—this would be his first relationship. I told him that ultimately, it’s his choice whether he wants to continue in a relationship or end things now.
Then in mid-July, I randomly asked if he was losing feelings. He said, “I don’t know,” and that things just feel off lately, and even suggested maybe I was losing feelings too (I told him I wasn’t). He mentioned maybe it’s because we haven’t seen each other in 3 weeks, but in my opinion, he hasn’t made much effort to plan anything (though we’ve both been a bit busy). He said he cares about me a lot—but then a couple of hours later just said good night and left the conversation hanging. I replied, “Are you serious?” and he basically said he didn’t know what to say and that he just wanted to go to bed. I’m feeling really confused and hurt.
From everything I’ve mentioned, do you think I should invest more time in this possible relationship?
TL;DR
I (23F) met a guy (23M) on Hinge and we’ve been talking for 4 months. We’ve gone on dates, talked about the future, and he’s even told his family about me. We both want long-term relationships, but he’s leaving soon for a 6-month internship. I told him I want to be official before he leaves because it feels unfair to keep doing relationship things without a label. He says he likes me and cares about me but is scared to be in a relationship and lose me—this would be his first relationship. Recently, he said things felt different and wasn’t sure if he was losing feelings. I feel like he hasn’t made much effort lately, and after a half-finished emotional convo, he just said goodnight and went to bed. I’m confused and hurt. Should I invest more time in this or walk away?