So am a 21 year old male.
Currently a student.
And I love my career so much.
I think I’m too in love with education.
Because from here I want to quickly get my masters and soon after my PhD. Then apart from the current profession I’ve ventured in, I want to explore other careers like acting and maybe doing a bit of music.
I mostly see myself spending most of my life in the professional world.
And as I grow older, my desire for having a family and settling down keeps on dying. What I mean is I don’t see myself to be someone who will marry and maybe have kids.
I want to spend most of my life working and traveling the world.
Is that a bad thing?
Also I’d love to hear from people older than me who have decided not to have kids, how is life like?
Also to those who have kids, how is life like?
Am I making a mistake by choosing now and manifesting this upon my?
I’d love to have an idea on both.
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You’re too young to even be worried about this kind of thing, live your life, enjoy every minute, and when the time comes, if it’s right, then you can consider
It’s not bad to work on your career while having fun. However doing this in my 20s, I did not realize how bad the dating pool is in your 30s. Just something to think about. If you want a SO, start thinking about it now. Never hit desperation though. Family with kids can come later and needs to be a joint decision.
Brother you’re 21. You have plenty of time to figure this out and by no means have to decide today. The right woman might change your mind, or you may be exactly right.
I’m 35, no kids and I have to say I love the freedom. I get to spend times with my friends/family kids and scratches the itch. But if the right woman comes along I may just want to pursue a family.
I have a couple of great friends that had kids at 40 and they have beautiful healthy children. It’s doable.
There is no right answer here
Don’t have kids.
You will spend your whole life for them. You will fight with your significant other, you will be vulnerable to them and through them in ways you cannot imagine. Just about EVERYTHING in life will be harder because you have kids. Ask yourself is it worth it?
Because for me it was. I was quite certain that kids is what I wanted to sign up for in life, and that the advice of anyone else to not have them would not discourage me from what I wanted out of life, which was to raise kids.
If you have any fraction of doubt, do not spend your entire life for kids and potentially resent the sacrifices you may have to make.
Only have kids with a pure woman.
Otherwise don’t.
Wait 7 years… work your ass off and climb for the next 5-7 before you start thinking about kids.
Find some mentors. If you need some free ones join f3nation
Why get a PhD? Unless you plan on teaching it’s just hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt that will take 30 years to pay off.
The absolute LAST thing in my head at 21 was to get married and have kids. I was fresh out of college, starting my career, living a fairly carefree life, traveling, and just having fun.
But around the age of 26, a switch flipped and I felt ready to get serious about my life. I met the woman that I’d eventually marry and we married when I was 30. We then had kids when I was 35.
Don’t rush into anything that you’re not ready for. Over time, priorities change. You at 21 will be very different than you at 31. And if you choose you never want to have kids, that’s perfectly fine too.
You should be skeptical about having kids.
Signed,
A loving father of 2
Personally, I don’t know any fathers that thought they ever wanted kids until 30+. Myself included. Not to deter you but you sound like most 21 yr olds minus maybe the PHD. Pretty much nobody cares if you have kids or not besides your parents. Its not wrong, its even normal to not want a wife and kids at your age. Go live your life. You may get hit with an overwhelming desire for children and a wife at 35, you may not. Don’t worry about it this early.
If you are adamant about not having children be sure to invest well for retirement, without children everything falls on your wallet when you get old.
As for what is it like having kids? Its the worst and best. There are times you wanna go drive your car of a cliff. There are many times where you cant help but tear up in joy and pride. The best and worst moments of your life will be defined by your children. No, pets do not come anywhere close to these feelings.
This is the path I’ve taken. I have worked on my career and have a great relationship with no kids. If we want to travel or go out somewhere nice to eat or have a few drinks or play games all day in our underwear, there’s nothing holding us back.
It helps that we have a bunch of nieces and nephews, so if we feel the need to take kids to an amusement park or buy a bunch of Christmas presents, we have willing volunteers.
Science, religion, and the entire history of the world (until about five minutes ago) has agreed on one universal truth about humans: we’re designed to love our careers and focus our energy on work.
Wait… no… we are designed to mate and have children.
You can believe and do what you want, but there’s a part of you that can only be unlocked one way. You can absolutely be happy without kids—I was—but there is a different level of fulfillment you’ll only achieve one way. Take it from a guy who wanted kids and then didn’t and resigned himself to the fact that he never would but then did have kids: it’s challenging but beautiful and life-changing and fucking amazing.
Never wanted any; never had any. Happy as hell in my mid-late 50s.
Bish you’re 21. You are the kid. I know you’re super smart and grown but trust when i say no you’re not and put that thing back where it came from our so help me.
You do you man. I couldn’t imagine my life without my wife and kid, but I knew that’s what I wanted decades ago. I also know plenty of guys who are happy single, and even more who are divorced but wish they didn’t get married.
If you already know you don’t want a wife and kids, definitely don’t break some poor girl’s heart ring trying to make other people happy.
Get the fuck off reddit
>as I grow older
I know that feeling. At 21, despite my youth, I already felt like a grizzled and cynical old man. I still feel that way at 33. I’ve done some study, plenty of work and seen a good amount of the world. I’ve not had children but I still hope it might happen for me. The reality is you are young and I know its a cliche but the world is your oyster.
As for children you don’t need to decide now. My advice is to pursue your goals to the best of your ability. Study, work, travel, be active in hobbies and pursue dreams. Don’t get bogged down by thoughts of settling down with a wife and children. But if it happens for you along the way then don’t shy away from it either. For many people it is the greatest reward for living.
Then don’t do it. We weighed the pros and cons and didn’t do it. We definitely made the right choice for us.
The only thing less advisable than spending your 20s raising kids is spending it in a PHD. After undergrad go see the world and work in your field for a while before even thinking of grad school.
To your q. My brother and I are about the same age, he had kids and I didn’t; our lives couldn’t have been any different, in particular because I have been able to change jobs and refocus on things without much hassle.
These two statements struck me
“So am a 21 year old male.”
“And as I grow older, my desire for having a family and settling down keeps on dying.”
You’ve got time. Spend the next few years on your career.
At 21, I felt like you. I couldn’t imagine having a family. Talk to me again in ten years.
21 is probably about ten years premature for a fella to be worrying about such nonsense.
It’s not law. You didn’t have to make needless additional humans if you didn’t want to.
If you’re able to do what you want with your existence and it harms no one, then what could possibly be wrong with that and how could it ever be a bad thing.
Do whatever suits you until it doesn’t anymore👍🏻
Honestly I didn’t want kids until I met my wife. I will say though it’s ok not to want them. If asked by a future girlfriend just be honest. I didn’t have kids until I was in my early 30s. My wife and I make a good team.
Just understand your priorities completely change when you have kids. So if your hobbies and life style are important I would not advise kids. You have 1 life to live and do it to the best of your ability.
For me however the feeling I get when my young kids wake up and they run up to me is something I can’t describe. I enjoy showing them things and try to introduce that world. My kids always want to know what I’m eating and drinking and love trying stuff. They like watching videos on my phone. Do I miss my car hobby? Yes I do. When they get out of daycare I plan to start back up and take them with me while they still like hanging out with Dad. Kids have their moments and it really tests you. My kids are 18 months apart so there were A LOT of sleepless nights. But once they start sleeping through the night it’s a huge shift.
Don’t put pressure on yourself. I have friends with brothers that make great uncles and they will never have kids. Nothing wrong with that. Do what makes you happy
Since you’re skeptical, allow me to represent Team Childfree Vasectomy. 38, male, the Netherlands if any of that matters to you for comparison’s sake.
What is the upside of being childfree (contrasted with childless as that is involuntary)?
The only cars you want have two seats. In all seriousness, you get: unlimited freedom, cheaper travel, no crotchgoblin that is basically a screaming annoying potato for 2 years, better quantity and quality of sleep, longer lasting furniture, no risk of spawning something half-baked that then torpedoes your marriage/relationship because you secretly (because society will judge you for it because they are not in your shoes) hate having to take care of it and it drains you both, no risk of lasting damage to your wife (read up on preeclampsia and 4th degree vaginal tears, aka when one’s vagoo merges with one’s rectum), bother others’ snotgoblins and get rid of them whenever you want so they don’t tire you and you get to be cool in their eyes, not feeling a sense of “I gambled, you lost” when they get seriously hurt, etcetera etcetera.
What are the downsides?
Others are going to have kids and not be in your enviable position and therefore not be as available, they will tire you out with stories about their kids to which you cannot relate which makes them incredibly boring because their life revolves around their ambulant oopsies, no heirs so you can blow everything you saved prior to dying.
What is my position?
I feel I am not arrogant or selfish enough to risk my wife’s health to put something on this planet that did not consent. I feel, as Aldous Huxley would say, “maybe this world is another planet’s Hell” and inflicting being on something is irresponsible and cruel.
My views were further reinforced by my mother passing away 2 years ago. This was traumatic to such an extent that I feel it is impossible for any parent to ‘take responsibility’ for procreating as the odds are the parent passes away first, thereby making taking responsibility practically impossible.
My brother has a PhD and his wife is due to crap out number 3, so it is doable to combine them.
Does that help?
Listen. Everyone is different. No one here can tell you what you SHOULD do.
They can just give you their experiences.
Myself. I knew from an early age I wanted a family and kids. Like middle school age. I’ve always been great with kids. My wife said she knew she was gonna marry me when we were dating when she saw my playing with my cousins 6 month old.
My wife and I dated through college. Married the summer after. I turned down a great job that required me to be in the road WAY to much to be home with my wife more.
Coming up on 13 years married this summer. We have FOUR boys. 9, 7, 3, and 2 months.
I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. Sure the kids can be stressful daily. Sure we don’t have nearly the money we would without them. Yeah we eat nuggets and Mac and cheese more than we would if we didn’t have them. But my wife and I love our life.
My advice to you is never say never. Don’t set yourself in stone one way or the way. Go about life the way you want to at this moment. If a certain woman comes along she may completely detour your world. If not then you may never go down that path.
If you don’t have kids I don’t know who you expect to work the fields.
As a guy who’s almost 40 I felt like you did and still feel that way. So you’re in good company.
I will say relationships are good. You should be open to them if they come your way. You don’t have to have kids though.
We don’t have kids , there is a prospect of perhaps adopting in the years to come a kid that needs a home who is 4+yo . This wouldn’t be any international adopt BTW, ethical state based adoption etc.
Don’t put any expectation on yourself unless it’s a big goal on you. There is time when you get older if you so choose to go down that path .
Additionally the world economy and culture would make me very hesitant to have kids. I certainly wouldn’t in a country without universal health care too.
Married and child-free here. My suggestion would be to keep an open mind, but it sounds like you know what makes you happy. That’s rare at your age, and insanely valuable.
Had my first just before I turned 40, so you’ve got a while to decide.
It’s your own decision, people online will try to gaslight the fuck out of you, especially if you think you might want kids.
Keep an open mind and go with your gut. You don’t need some golden ticket justification if your gut says yes.
It’s ok to not want kids. I didn’t when I was 21. Now that I’m 33, the idea of sewing my seed gets more appealing to me every day.
If you don’t want kids, please don’t have them. We’ve got too many unwanted kids running around already, and we’re all paying the price for it.
Oh boy, life hasn’t smacked you in the face and fucked your perception of the adult world yet. Your opinion of whether you want kids or not will likely change. Not saying you will go from yes to no or no to yes, but your reasoning will.
First of all you have a lot of time to change your mind on whatever direction you want direction you want. Second societal norms like getting married and having children aren’t for everyone and you’re allowed to do what you want. You can still be a good person if you don’t have kids. You can still be a good person without a spouse. You can live a full life without many things. Only you can decide what you want out of your life.
I also didn’t want kids at 21. I didn’t really want kids until I was about 32 and now I’m a stay at home parent to my kids and I love it. You never know who you will become. Just keep on living your life and see how it unfolds. You can’t plan everything.
You’re on the right track but don’t overthink too much about what the future will be like
I (37M) can see a lot of my younger self in your desire for many things. When I was 20, I also had a lot of ambitions like you, the only difference being that I hated academics. My current job isn’t what I envisioned, but I’m competent and dedicated because it provides for my family.
I once yearned to see the world and be a professional musician, however, those passions have dimmed. After visiting over 20 countries, living in 2 countries outside of my birth country, and becoming a dual citizen, I don’t feel excited about traveling anymore. As for music, now I just enjoy listening to it, many times, I’ve picked up my guitar or saxophone intending to practice, but I put them down right away because I don’t find joy in it anymore.
I never planned not to have a family, btw I used to think being childfree would give me more time for my own goals. Funny enough, now with a wife and kids, I’ve realized they are my true purpose in life.
You’re doing well because at such a young age, you have a clear roadmap and plan to develop yourself, instead of being lost and directionless like many people. But you don’t know who you’ll meet in the future, it could be someone who makes you feel that starting a family is important. So, take your time, be open to what comes, and don’t chain yourself to one path, whether it’s having a family or staying single.
Don’t. One of the Best ideas I’ve ever had,
your going to be a completely different human at 25,30 35,40. take it as it comes. when I was 21 there was no way. Im 44 with 2 boys now I can’t imagine having made a different choice.
Its not for everyone but what I got was exactly what I needed. pause and reflect as you’re approaching 30. If your with someone at that point in time maybe she will help you decide.
your doing good. just focus on development now and the rest will come when its time
My man! You’ve got alot of time! Go live life first!
Only have kids if you are going to devote your entire rest of your life to them.
I think most people feel that way at 21. I was also entirely focussed on my own success, wanted to travel, drink, etc. and that didn’t change until I’d achieved much of what I set out to do and met my wife. I graduated, moved abroad, started my career, and got married. My kid was born when I was in my early 30’s. One of the best things to ever happen to me, which doesn’t feel like a possibility beforehand when you’re mulling over the freedom you’ll lose, but priorities naturally change when it becomes a reality.
I enjoyed my 20’s, focussing on myself and working things out. I fucked up numerous times without having to worry about it impacting anyone else. Now I’m enjoying my 30’s, my family and my career. I was never the most career driven person tbh, but having a child changed that and I’ve been more successful than I ever would have expected.
So, you’re feelings may change as you become content with your own situation. But then, maybe they won’t, and maybe you decide you never want kids. Either way, I think most people find a way to live happily with their decisions.
Okay wow. PhD here who also does acting and music on the side. Double your age or so. Had many different careers. May these words of caution help you avoid my regrets. I dont mean to be rude or discouraging. Just you asked about mistakes. I want to help you. Of course your story may turn out different. But I’ve seen this narrative countless times and I’ve lived it.
Slow down. Take care of yourself. Stop and smell the roses. If no one has said it yet, your self-worth does not have to be determined by productivity. Make sure your health and happiness are being prioritized.
You’re still very young. The light of your career still shines brightly. Eventually it will fade. Do not base your life’s value on a job. Loving your career is great. Love what’s outside your career too. One day that’s all you will have.
Academically / financially. Why do you need graduate degrees? Don’t rush into it. If you need it for a career advancement that you are within reach of, go for it. But if that’s the case, is your company paying for it? This is the probably the worst time in the last 75 years to get a graduate degree. The Return on Investment for them is abysmal and the future outlook is bleak. Student loans are a life sentence. Dont make a deal with the devil. I did and it’s caused me so much pain and hardship. If you think getting more degrees will get you a better paying job, it really won’t work out that way.
Go ahead and get a therapist that your insurance covers. You’re okay right now. But ten years from now you’re going to need one. It will be one or a combination of these things; burnout, adhd, autism, anxiety, depression, or ocd. And you’ll reflect on it alot and make a bunch of self-discoveries that will have you somewhat infuriated at yourself at this age for not knowing and for setting you up on this trajectory.
You’ll settle into dating more in your late 20s. Relationships get more serious. Your brain and body arent even fully cooked until at least 25. You may very well get married afterall. Or maybe you’ll really embrace the single life. Push that back to your 30s if repressed gay / bi is an issue for you.
Your mid 30s will be weird. Your family is getting older and smaller. Simple joys like holidays start to lose their magic. Your friends having kids in high school will suddenly resurface because their kids are grown now. And you’ll start to think differently. Am I behind? Should I propogate my family legacy? Am I getting too old to have kids? Will my sperm even work anymore? Is my wife getting too old to have kids? (perimenopause comes early). You might feel like something is missing. Who is going to take care of me when I’m old? And you’ll wrestle those questions for years. And you who said you never wanted kids, may opt to do it afterall. Or you may get there and say hell no, my life style does not support that. Maybe you would be great parent. Maybe you realize you would be a terrible one.
The point of the story is, don’t live life too fast, you’ll pay for it later. The way you feel now, is probably going to change or evolve years from now. Don’t make decisions that would base your whole life off of who you are at this moment. Give your future self some opportunity to make some of these decisions. Maybe wait a few years and see if 25 year old you still thinks you need a masters degree. Maybe wait a few years and see if 30 year old you has opted to marry someone. Maybe wait a decade and see if you still feel the same way about kids. I made alot of decisions fast and early that trapped me into a future I regret. Give your trajectory time to grow. Nourish and flourish. Find value in things you love that are not tied to generating productivity or academic outcomes. Take care of yourself. Keep the door of skepticism open and revisit these ideas every now and then. Otherwise, you might wake up one day wondering how it all went wrong with fewer options to fix it.
At 21 I knew I didn’t want kids, the whole idea wasn’t my idea of a good time. Now 53 and married for 20 years with an amazing life and… no kids.
Apparently 5% of the population is choosing to be childfree now (in the US anyway) so it’s rare but not unheard of.
People will tell you not to worry about it and you can have kids later, but if you’re investing a lot of time and effort into designing a life you want to lead without kids and then change your mind you’re going to have to accept a ‘pivot’ and throwing out a lot of the work you’ve done.
I got married at 19 and had kids until my 13th anniversary. I didn’t want kids to interfere with my career.
I love being a dad. I also loved being happily married. Life comes in stages. In this stage of your life, just do the thing you want to do. When the next stage is upon you, it’ll be obvious, probably. It was for me.
32
I don’t regret not getting married and not having kids, nor do I plan on doing so. I absolutely see the appeal as many if not most of my friends have young families. I love them, their spouses, and their children dearly. Couldn’t be happier for all of them.
However it’s enforced the idea that it’s not for me. I focused on my career and am now able to do whatever I want whenever I want, without having to worry about anything else, and I love that too.
Time will tell what the right move for you is. There is no right or wrong answer. You’ll grow into your path, you don’t choose it.
My partner and I probably won’t get married or have kids. He’s divorced and I never wanted to get married, unless we absolutely need to for some legal reason. Neither of us want kids.
We are both mid 30s. We like traveling and doing our own thing. You don’t have to give up having a long term relationship if you don’t want to just because you don’t want marriage or kids.
Dude – you’re still studying but you’ve decided you want to spend your whole life working? Spend a couple of years working before you get too set in your decisions.
Dont have kids while novelty is still exciting. Party, travel and experience New things
Eventually the rush of New experiences Will diminish
You Will Get more satisfaction from building stuff
Building a business, a house, a family.
Have a kid when you decide that building is more important than novelty in your life
You’re too young to know what you’ll want in 10 years at any age. Let alone in your twenties. You have time to decide what you want and change your mind about 5 times from where you’re at.
You’re too young to even worry about this, spend more time thinking about how you’re going to actually make some money out of some of all this effort and expense.
My life is on my time and I couldn’t be happier about it.
EDIT: Seeing how my buddies from college lives are now with kids/family has also been reassuring in my decision.
Well for me, I am kind of mentally ill, I don’t have a lot of money, and I don’t even have a girlfriend or wife. I seriously have no desire to have kids. Most people i know who have kids wanted kids. I just have no desire. Also my life has been a struggle already thus far at age 32. I can’t imagine finally getting over the struggle of life and then having kids. I don’t think it’s for me. I can see how it’s awesome, but it’s just not for me at this time.
You’ve got plenty of time to decide on this one and there’s no strictly right or wrong answer on this one.
I love my kids, but I am not doing all the stuff some of my childless friends are. This works for me, that works for them and I dont think any of us would be as happy if we traded places.
Do what you find fulfilling and you’ll be alright.
I’ve always knew I wanted a kid, but it really struck me at around 30. I had a blast through 20 to 30 though.
I’m 36 now with a 2y little princess
I have a kid and wouldn’t change it for the world. If you find someone who makes you happy and will make a good parent, it is worth it.
Certain career sacrifices are worth it. Yeah you might be professional right now, but what about 10 years from now? Is your career going to be what defines you? Are you just gonna work 30 years then die? Who will you share your life passions and accomplishments with?
You love your career? What career? You mean having instructors feed you information and pre-solved tasks to complete for grades? This is not a career. You are experiencing life in easy mode.
You should do whatever you want.
You should do whatever you want (as long as it doesn’t hurt others).
Be aware that all your beliefs, even your absolutist strongly held ones are subject to change over the course of your life. Not saying they all will change, but every single thing could change.
Don’t shut doors on yourself too early. You really don’t have to decide whether you want kids now.
Hold the path you are on for the next 20 years. When you turn 40 then reconsider. Not a moment earlier than 40.
Once you feel satisfied and secure about your life, you’ll want kids. You’re a young guy, not finished school, don’t own a home, no wife. If you wanted kids now, I would put you on a watch list.
When I was your age, or perhaps even a bit younger, I was sure I was going to have kids someday. The older I get the less I want to have any. Now I’m close to 40 and soon it will be too late (my gf is the same age). I don’t regret my decision. So it can be the other way around for some.
31 m, decided not to have kids and got steralised at 29. At your age I thought it was something “I’d do eventually” but as I got older the desire never really came, but the desire to travel, do more hobbies etc got more intense. I really thought about it and realised I couldn’t find any positive (for me) in having kids, there was just no reason I could find that would get me excited to have one, everything that comes with having kids would be a downside and I didn’t want to (in my opinion) ruin my life by that. So decided not to.
Lifes good, I’ve spent this weekend out most of the time walking with my dog, seeing friends and doing other hobbies. I’m not stressed out with trying to afford everything for a child like i know a few of my friends who have kids are. Im looking to move into a much smaller house and save some money as I don’t need all the space I have for non-existent kids. I’ve just got back from spending the UK winter backpacking Australia and New Zealand, just because I could and I don’t have the ties of children to worry about.
One bit of advice: If you want to go travel the world, I’d do it while you are younger. I wish I’d gone and travelled more when I had less responsibilites (house, dog, good paying job etc), its not impossible as my winter trip shows but its easier when you’re younger and have less ties.
Pretty much no guy at 21 thinks of ever having children and family.
You also are not in a profession. If you’re still studying. You’re learning something and you hope it’ll lead to something you will be able to live on.
As for acting and music, the chances you can make a living out of it are non zero, but close. So in the vast majority of cases is delusional.
The one thing you haven’t got yet (and rightly so, nothing wrong or unusual in that at 21) is that life isn’t a videogame – you don’t plan and ifyou push the right buttons, things happens according to your master plan or a fixes career path.
Randomness reign supreme – for the good and the bad, mind me.
You need to have a compass for sure, and a few principles, but the actual development is something right now you can’t even conceive. If you have a strong drive towards some field (which btw is not “education” unless you’re really interested in methods for learning, but something very concrete you wake up wanting to do l) absolutely you will push in that direction, but there’s no guarantees.
Not too sure why every single person think they should have a kid.
Had mine at 36, you have plenty of time to do whatever you want.
You don’t have to decide now. Do the things you want to do. Maybe later on you’ll feel differently, maybe you won’t. You can change your mind later – or not.
If you’re ambivalent though, make it clear to any woman you do get close to. It wouldn’t be fair to spend a decade of a woman’s prime child-bearing years basically wasting her time. But if she knows you may never want kids, she is informed and can choose to stay or leave if she really wants them.
Man you are 21. I had my first in my mid 30s. Enjoy your life for now. You might meet that special lady on your travels or adventures and suddenly yohr whole perspective changes.
I’ve had my first child, coming up on her first birthday soon, and I’m tired, poorer, more stressed, and I have little time for myself or for my partner…but I’ve never been happier, or more proud of myself since I’ve become a father.
I work in higher education. Those of us with advanced degrees are having kids later in life, if at all. It’s usually due to having goals that take longer to accomplish. By the time I got done with my education, I was not compelled to have children and committed to a life without them (10/10 for me, love it).
You’re not in any rush so just relax. Just be careful in your 20s. Babies are a huge responsibility and could derail your life goals if there is an accidental pregnancy.
21 you’re too young. Wait 10 or more years. When you’re ready you’ll be ready.
The cool thing about being a dude is you can have kids pretty old without fearing awful complications. So do you and don’t stress about it
Regardless of what you want, you’ll likely find a life partner that you want to stick with you through life. This life partners gets a vote as well. Depending how important kids are to them determines how much your vote counts
You say ‘as I grow older…’ but you’re 21. I didn’t have my daughter until I was nearly 40. Don’t overthink it, your career, life, partners, are all ahead of you. I didn’t think for a moment in my early 20s I would be a school teacher but I retrained for that as I hit 30. I never imagined I would work overseas, but here I am five years out. It’s perfectly normal to not be interested in marriage and children at 21, your life may change and shape that, or it may not, in the next decade or more.
You’re right to be skeptical. Children should be wanted, not something you do because it’s getting to be that time.
My wife f39 and I m37 aren’t having kids. I got a vasectomy a few years ago. We get to travel and go to concerts and buy season tickets. We get to sleep in on weekends and holidays. I like being an uncle because we get to do the fun stuff and then return the kids to their parents.
I assumed I would have kids. In a previous relationship I couldn’t have kids naturally and there was no sense of loss when I thought about it.
Don’t have kids man.. you are just condemning that person to suffer and die, out of personal selfish desires.
Adopt an orphan if you absolutely need a child to full-fill your life. (no people rather their own blood, out of selfishness)
You are a 21yo male. You have plenty of time before you decide whether or not to settle down with kids. Anatomically speaking, men do not have a biological clock similar to women. Pursue your career ambitions and see how they go. Five or ten years from now or whenever you choose, you are free to reassess your priorities.
Your 21.