I’m a very open, vulgar person. I love making my friends laugh with my various sexual exploits, especially the ones that make me look like an idiot.
However, I have never told anybody this.
I was in a situationship with this girl from Donegal. She was an absolute FREAK. Loves everything and anything you can imagine EXCEPT P in the V. Some religious bollocks. I literally fucked this girl in the arse, elbow, knee, mouth, feet, just no P in V.
Anyway, we went home for the summer and on day one when I came back in second year we bumped into each other.
Few drinks, quick catch up and before you know it we’re back at mine.
I’m going down on her and slightly confused. I could normally make her cum within a few minutes with oral but I’m doing all my usual stuff and she’s barely reacting.
Next thing, humiliations of all humiliations she says “it’s fine, just fuck me.”
I felt like an awful failure but when I pulled my head back I realised I wasn’t licking her clit, I was licking……a genital wart!!!!!!
I don’t know how I never got anything myself but it has always haunted me
Comments
Ha amazing !
Well that’s unfortunate for all involved.
You still finished didn’t you? 😂
What the fuck, she didn’t even tell you?
That’s horrific.😳
So give us an update… do you still talk to her lol 😆
Why didn’t she say anything- it obv didn’t feel good for her (and also just basic human decency to let people know when there’s the possibility of having a wart in their mouth beforehand)😭😭
rotflamao, This is the funniest thing Ive read on Reddit today. I hope you got tested.
Oh my god
I wish I could go back in time to before I read this, holy shit
You got what you got. Stop ! It ain’t worth talking about it. You could however write this in a story…pretty funny!
Hahahahaha!!!
Fake af. Try better next time. This is corny.
Smooched the wrong cooch…you had me at hello 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Omfg 🙀
gagging uncontrollably
Im dying 😂😂😂
I was 19 and horny dude
Just nasty 🤢
Anyone who has any kind of knowledge about a clitoris would never mistake a wart for one. Just the size alone isn’t even remotely close.
Bro I literally just gagged! Holy shit that’s fucked up she didn’t tell you!
Ffs, I just ate.
Tell me you don’t know where the clit is or what it looks and feels like without telling me
The genital wart had a blissful time and thanks you for your service.
O. M. G.
Jesus, Mary, mother of god! 1. Did you really have to tell us? 2. How fucking blind are you? 3. What did it taste like?
Definitely a wart? Maybe it was a skin tag? Just trying to give you peace of mind 😂
Not all vulvar bumps are warts. It might have been a benign cyst. Harmless!
where can I send the invoice for the therapy I need after reading that? 😭 I was just trying to chill before I go to sleep and BAM! now I have to become a nun
It may have been a skin tag, I got one removed but it freaked me out when it cropped up.
Maybe that’s why there was no P in the V before 😂
I don’t want to alarm you, but when I was in my twenties I hung out and had sexual relationships with a group of girls that all had genital warts. At that time, they blamed sharing undergarments as the reason they likewise shared their warts problem. Fast forward to my mid-fifties, when I was diagnosed with throat cancer – never a tobacco user, but had developed a malignant tumor at the base of my tongue. I had two surgeries at MD Anderson Cancer Hospital in Houston, and my doctors determined that my cancer was the result of HPV, the human papilloma virus spread by sexual contact, and especially by mouth-to-genital interaction.
Keep an eye on any abnormalities in your mouth and throat, and seek medical advice quickly if any are detected.
Good luck.
Fucking hell bro
Did you still do the deed after you saw that????
I am holleringggggg please 😩😩😩🤣🤣🤣
Are you traumatized now? Like wtf.
I would probably never go down on someone ever again 😿
what a terrible day to have eyes
Ahhhhhhhhhhh I’m laughing so hard I’m crying
Perhaps that’s enough internet for the night.
Well, did you finish?
Now I’ll never do this with someone in dark
I hate having eyes
OMG! What did my eyes read. I’m gonna have nightmares now for next wk….
This can’t be real.
I gasped..
Unfortunately this is going to be a thread I occasionally think about for years
Don’t lick the wart. Nibble it. Freakin amateurs. I swear
Or cld this be yet another sexploit tale meant for shock value to frame OP (to use his words) as vulgar or an idiot. Kinda like how people with frotteurism just happen to bump into ppl in public. -lol. Well played.
But what happened after??
What the actual fuck
And…….time for me to close my tablet and touch grass.
Did you still fuck her?
Can I go back a few minutes before I read this?
Gonna go vom now
I was young
Why