My Partner of 6 years (F24) went out with her friends on Friday night to a one direction DJ night, which she’s done many times before and it’s never been an issue. But this time she had gotten some messages for a friend (M24) she’s known for 11 years. He lives in USA and we live in Canada.
He messaged her saying he couldn’t go through with a proposal with his current partner because of his strong feelings for my partner… and she responded to him saying she also had feelings for him and has since before we started dating. But she’s been burying them down this whole time because she never thought it would work with the distance and one of them would have to uproot their lives to make it work.
But I ultimately asked her to block him because I don’t want any drama and him having the opportunity to confess his love to her again later down the road. My partner then said to me that she wasn’t sure if she could do it as it’s her longest friendship, even though I’ve been a sure thing in her life and have shown her time and time again that I would do anything for her. How should I go about this situation? Because my heart is breaking at the thought of cutting off this relationship. Does anyone think I’m overreacting?
TL;DR
My partner (F24) I (M25) feel has been emotionally cheating on me with her friend of 11 years (M24). I have asked her to block him and she says she’s unsure if she can. Am I overreacting? What else can I do in this situation? Breaking this relationship is a last resort for me but I’m not sure what else I can do.
Comments
What would you do if an old crush reached out to you to confess? You’d probably tell them that you love your partner and that it’s not happening, right? What would your feelings about the situation have to be to react as your gf is doing?
She’s not making you or your relationship a priority. You’re not overreacting, you’re under-reacting. I’m so sorry.
You are not overracting. She is having an emotional affair.
However, asking her to block him comes across as controlling, will ultimately be fruitless and cause further heartbreak, for you. You should let her go off in search of greener pastures.
You’re not overreacting, you’re just not reacting as most people would.
Your girlfriend is telling you she has feelings for someone else, as does he for her. You supposedly ‘blocking’ him on media isn’t going to make those feelings disappear.
I’m sure you’re crushed, but your relationship seems to be over. Whether your girlfriend gets back with her old friend or not, right now she is not emotionally available to be in a relationship with you or any one else for that matter. She certainly hasn’t given her whole heart to you.
It sounds like she settled for you. She’d be with him if the logistics were right. Save yourself before you waste any more precious youth– trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
Honestly block him or not this isn’t gonna work she admitted to having feelings for another man while together and the whole time I don’t see how you just brush past that so easily.
Break up with her. At best, she can’t sort out her feelings about her friend vs you. At worst, she’s in love with him. Either way, you’re not a priority for her.