Using my throwaway account, which can be good, or bad depending on how you look at it
I (M32) love my girlfriend (F28-29) dearly, and she loves me as well. I’ve known her literally over half my life and half of hers, (we met online around 17-18 years ago and started dating 2 years ago, literally on a whim). However I went to a church function last night, as I only recently started going to church again, it was going to watch a soccer game at a couple’s house, they invited a whole group. One of the other members of the church, not their kid, but a recent college graduate from a couple towns over stays with them, and her (F21-22) and I officially met last night at the church get together. This girl is a pretty thing, we hit it off, and she asked me to sit on the floor with her during the game. I stuck around for a bit after the game, and got to know the church members who hosted the get together, and mentioned my girlfriend, and that I intended on bringing her to the church the next time she visited me. Around 15-30mins after i mentioned my girlfriend, the girl I hit it off with ended up going to bed. I don’t know if it was slight jealousy or something else. I honestly found myself thinking about church girl on my way back home last night, and how “quick” it was that she went to bed. Like I said, she’s a pretty thing, and I found myself having a slight attraction towards her, but i don’t want anything right now, obviously with me dating someone. I don’t know if she even has someone. Ultimately I want to pursue a friendship with her, and I want to get to know her a little better. But my feelings are conflicted. Like I would love to be her friend, but I don’t want my feelings to grow more than that right now. Asking here instead of another advice sub, because here i can get a little bit better advice. Again, I love my girlfriend dearly. But I want to get to know church girl. I want to know her likes and dislikes. Advice is greatly appreciated and I want to know if this is normal. I told one of my best friends, she asked if I looked church girl up on Facebook, and I have, but I don’t want to be that weird person who adds someone within hours of meeting and hitting it off. Granted the last time I did that, I was doing some not very church like things. (Under alcohol influence), but last night I was 100% sober. Please, give me your best advice, and tell me what you think I need to hear. I shouldn’t be asking strangers on the Internet, but I want a little guidance. Thanks in advance for whatever I get, even if part of it will make me angry (which im sure part will)
Comments
You’re dancing with temptation while calling it friendship and that’s how good relationships rot from the inside. Shut it down or set clear distance because one spark of curiosity can burn years of trust.
she’s 10 years younger than you. leave her alone.
The amount of times you had to type out that you have no feelings for this new church girl definitely points to you knowing you like her more than a friend but are trying your hardest to convince yourself otherwise.
As a church going man I would resist temptation and stay faithful to your girlfriend, or break up and pursue it. You choosing to become friends with a girl you’re clearly interested in while having a girlfriend as a safety net is just a gross move and I feel like deep down you know that as well.