So much shame around my body.

I’m a woman who has a hormonal imbalance that makes me grow hair in a male pattern. I basically have thick black hair covering my whole body, and it’s always made me feel disgusting and unfeminine. It’s on my legs, butt, back, chest, breasts etc. I have always said no to relationships and intimacy because I’ve simply been bullied and called gross for my body hair for so long that I just will not let anyone see or touch my body. I want to accept myself and be free but when society wants women to be hairless all the time it’s really hard. All the men I’ve talked to have a big preference for women without body hair and think having it, especially in excess, is disgusting or dirty. I spend thousands on laser and still have so much hair everywhere because, well, hormones. I’m really worried I’ll die never having someone to connect with and have intimacy with. I genuinely feel so disgusting in my body. I know I’m not the only women with this issue so I don’t know, guess I just wanted to rant somewhere where maybe another woman would understand what I’m dealing with. I’ve missed out on so much in my life and continue to do so all because of damn body hair. It sounds so superficial but I’m ridiculed if hair is visible on my body. I feel so trapped and unlovable. I don’t think I’ll ever feel feminine or beautiful.