Link to my first post (i made a new account) https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/jo546xNxso . Update on that situation, husband moved home, found a new and better job, things have been good, and I was putting in a lot of effort to mend my relationship with MIL. It seemed to be going well…Without further ado, the current situation:
So, recently somebody called child services on my mother-in-law. She has two younger teenage kids in her care. Out of nowhere, she calls my husband and asks if I was the one who made the call. Asked if we were arguing and I made the call out of spite. Spoiler: I did not, and we were not fighting (haven’t argued since he moved home, shocker)
She specifically asked him not to tell me, but of course, he did. The next day, I texted her basically saying, “Hey, I heard you think I called CPS on you. I didn’t, and I never would. I don’t even know what’s going on in your family or how you run things.” I have met them twice and they seem like adequate parents to the younger ones, her husband is a dick to everyone but whatever. I have nothing to report on, I don’t think CPS cares if someone’s a benign jerk.
She replied something like, “Oh, I’m not worried, it’s just weird.”
I sat with that for a while, feeling upset. Like, if she’s really not worried, then why call my husband and accuse me like that? It felt like triangulating.
So the next day, I checked her facebook to see if she posted about any drama/I wanted to check in on her happenings, as we do have several shared hobbies and stuff. I realized she had blocked me from seeing any of her posts, confirmed with my husband as he could see them all.
I texted again, telling her that she had accused me of something serious, didn’t acknowledge she was wrong or apologize, and that it hurt. That I saw she blocked me from seeing her posts as if Im spying on her? I said I’ve kept my distance, and this kind of behaviour only confirms why.
She responded, “I didn’t accuse you. I just asked if it was you. Big difference.” Then I deleted her on facebook because F you, lady. I just added her back a week before this, at her request. Shes of a generation that facebook is very important to, so she didnt take that well.
The next morning, she messaged my husband calling me all kinds of names, “crazy,” “high and mighty,” etc. She said she loves him and our kids but “done with her [my] crazy”
That night, we get a barrage of Amazon packages from her to my husband and our two daughters…fidget toys, stress balls, which felt very passive-aggressive, like a way of saying I’m a stressful person to live with. Keep in mind, she’s not a gift giver at all, so this was totally out of character and felt like a jab.
Husband called her and she made herself out to be the victim. Poor Husband has had to deal with this his entire life, apparently.
Just feeling drained and frustrated by this whole situation.
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Soooo, your MIL isn’t too smart. Perhaps she needs a refresher course of what an accusation actually means? I mean, she literally repeated herself. Asking if it was you and accusing you are the same damn thing. Way to insufficiently wiggle out of accountability. Otherwise, why did she block you? She keeps telling on herself and it makes her look ridiculous. Maybe you haven’t been making the headway with her you think you have if her FIRST thought is to accuse you without evidence.
I mean, my advice is to disengage. Don’t text or call her to ask her why she’s doing things. Don’t check her FB. She sounds horrible, but every time you reach out, you’re just inviting more horrible into your life.
Your husband did it right. Support him in continuing to do so (e.g. telling you about her contacting him). Let him manage the relationship and support him in doing that.