Context: Me (40ishF) am married to husband and our two teen sons. We both have full time professional jobs at good incomes but I’m the higher earner. I say this only to show that I’m not a SAHM or work part time, that I have the same amount of non-work hours as my husband.
Like 99% of women it seems I’m always the one who has to lead the charge on cleaning, home maintenance, yard maintenance. I have to still remind our two sons to shower and put on deodorant, etc. I have to remind my husband to put water softener salt in, to take the recycling out, to do the pots and pans.
I have said time and time and time again to them that you don’t do chores because mom says so, you do them because you live in a home and it’s part of living in a home. That you don’t “help” me clean the house, YOU ALSO live here and are responsible for the house.
It’s a recurring argument that never is resolved. We’ve tried chore charts, Alexa reminders, the fair play system, etc. NOTHING WORKS. And then when I finally get mad and lose my temper “whoa mom is crabby!” Or “well why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
Does anyone have any suggestions that isn’t me just letting us all live in filth or isn’t me running away to live in the forest?