TL;DR: i am in the best relationship of my life, i keep thinking about him before we got together and im not sure how to cope with the emotions.
i (26f) have been with my boyfriend (26m) for 9 months and it’s been incredible. i love him with every inch of my being, and i genuinely feel that reciprocated. i have only had one previous relationship to this which lasted 5 years and he was not kind towards me at the end, my partner is so respectful and understanding of this, and i think this relationship is so passionate and deep because i feel safe.
sometimes i think about him being with other girls before me (he would never cheat, and i have no worries that he will), for example i know he used to kiss a lot of girls in clubs, and it hurts my heart to think about. when he goes out by himself (again, it’s not anxiety or worry) it makes me think about it and it just hurts to the point of making me cry. to the point of panic attacks, and i feel ridiculous.
obviously i have been with other people too, but i just hate the thought of it, and i don’t know how to deal and cope with the emotions when they hit. i don’t know if it’s something to bring up with him, as previously mentioned this is my second relationship so i don’t have too much experience. and if i do bring it up, how do i even do that without sounding psychotic.
any help is appreciated.
Comments
I think the only solution is therapy. It’s a mindset issue so the only one who can help is a certified psychologist
Law of detachment! Learn how to let go and stop stressing out over things out of your control. You have to focus on the present and embrace that there will always be uncertainty in life and it’s okay if things don’t unfold exactly the way you expect. Let go of his past because it happened and he more than likely doesn’t think about it as much as you think… and either trust him or don’t.