I haven’t been diagnosed, but I think I’m deppressed. And sometimes it just gets too much. Like right now. I just wanna go underwater and let the water fill my lungs. And no. I don’t wanna feel fine. I don’t wanna be happy right now. I want to feel the sadness. Because if I don’t feel the sadness. How can I know th happiness is real? But fuck me. Why does it hurt so much. And it’s always the same hurt. Different people, same pain. I’ve tried and tried and tried to be there for everyone. So why can’t even one person just be here with me through my sadness? I’m not asking you to make me feel better or male me happy. I just want to have someone with me while I’m sad. No grand gestures. Just be here. With me. But I’m not good enough for that, am I? So yes. I just wanna disappear. Maybe in that void, I will feel nothing. Maybe in that void no one will know me or care about me. Let me disappear. Please.