I’m sorry if this post is all over the place. FYI I’m not trying to generalize South Asian women’s experiences or imply that the following cannot pertain to other communities.
There are a few things that I have seen in how South Asian women exist on the internet. I have seen people make fun of SA women for being proud of their features (saying we stink, are hairy, and manly, and no one wants us) I have seen SA being told to shut up about their experiences with dealing with Western beauty standards “cause it could be worse”, and I have straight up seen people saying SA are the least attractive and desirable to date. Now this is completely from my perspective and from the experiences I have had being on the apps and the internet.
And offline, desi women aren’t the most talked about in terms of desirability and hotness in the circles I’ve been (of course this is my experience and my perspective with the ppl I’ve come across). For reference, I live in a diverse area where white ppl are rare to find. I have yet to meet a man who says SA women are his type.
One of the main things I notice when brown women bring up their struggles with being seen as attractive or desirable, are comments such as (or along the lines of) “I always thought South Asian women were beautiful, that’s crazy” or “I had no idea that South Asian women went through that”.
How do you feel when you get a response like this? Cause I think people are playing in our faces sometimes…I simultaneously see that we get called the most beautiful but the most ugliest depending on the app I’m on, or the ppl I’m around. A lot of SA women don’t ever get that kind of love in their homes, community, and from SA men. On top of coming from cultures that worships patriarchy and misogyny, I have never felt that we have gotten that love and validation.
I mean I agree 😊 we are beautiful and beautiful in our diversity of the women in our community. I wish we all got to experience that love a lot more in places we didn’t growing up. 🫶🏼
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Can’t speak for SA women but I am ‘not attractive’ to 99% of the population and the other 1% have some kind of face blindness and don’t really see people in that way, everyone is just a collection of shapes.
You can deal with it in two ways…
Honestly not very many people live their lives feeling anything other than average… and LOTS of women give themselves a terrible time because of this… it’s a waste. If they put all that energy into anything else that actually made themselves feel good rather than the negative talk that makes them feel yuk… the world would be a different place.
Mean women are normally women who are even meaner to themselves… and have family and all sorts giving them a really hard time too.
I just think ‘wow they’re doing life badly, glad I’m not like that’… and then and go and say some nice things to people to try and fight off that negativity.
Focus on the negative you’ll see the negative… be the person you wish other people were… it’s all you can do.
Many SA women have dark circles and large noses, so I remember being told when I was younger that my dark circles exist because I don’t get enough sleep and am dehydrated, plus my nose was like that because I must have broken it as a child and ought to fix it when I’m older.