We hired a new college graduate to work in the accounting department. Casey was irritating, and always quoting statistics that agreed with the point he was trying to make. He would frequently say, “Statistics don’t lie.” About a year later his boss resigned. On his first day the new boss called for a meeting to get to know everyone.
Employees in the accounting department dressed up. Men wore suits with ties, the woman wore dresses or nice pants suits. The new boss did not. His attire that day was casual loafers, dockers, and a button down shirt with no tie. He asked questions, and it became clear that he wasn’t interested in people trying to sell themselves to the new boss; he was trying to get his arms around his new job and department. A couple times he interrupted the person speaking and asked for “the short answer”. For one, he said, “Cut the bullshit. Just answer the question.”
When Casey was called upon, the new boss stopped him a couple of times, once to ask about the numbers he was spewing out. When he added ,”Statistics don’t lie”, the boss told him that you can make statistics say what you want them to. When Casey started to correct him, he said, “I can quote you a statistic that is 100% accurate, but totally meaningless. Casey told the boss in a very disrespectful tone, that he would love to hear that one.
The boss replied, “The average person has one testicle. Very accurate, but but meaningless statistically.” There was silence, then laughter. Casey gathered up his papers and walked out of the meeting. The boss, with a straight face, asked us if he was always this testy, to more laughter.
From then on, when Casey started to get out of hand, someone would say something like, “You’re a bit testy today” and that would shut him up.
Comments
Figures don’t lie, but liars figure.
Good story but the new boss seems to be a bit of a prick
We interviewed 1000 people who played Russian roulette! 100% of them survived, therefore, Russian roulette is 100% safe!
We interviewed 1000 people who played Russian roulette! 100% of them survived, therefore, Russian roulette is 100% safe!
My favorite nonsense statistic: 95% of the people diagnosed with cancer wear shoes.
I am going to use that one statistic regularly
That’s nuts!
“Liars, damn liars, and statisticians.” Mark Twain IIRC.
Only that’s not accurate, is it? I understand the conclusion he’s trying to draw, but the way he framed his conclusion is wrong. The average person has either none or two testicles. Few have only one. He should have said something like the number of testicles compared to the number of people in the world comes out to … Edited to add that the boss guy definitely demonstrated how people often misuse statistics to misrepresent things.
I read somewhere that 9 out of 10 people really enjoy gan-grape. Also, are you sure the new manager (who sounds pretty rad) wasn’t asking if he was always this TESTE? I’ll show myself out. But you should also throw out any bic or other brand pens on Mr statistics’ desk and replace them all with some fine UNIBALL products. Okay I’m actually going now
Most people have an above average number of arms
No he’s not a prick, he’s just efficient.
During a first time introduction with however many people working in each department he may not have time to listen to a complete and thoroughly detailed history from each individual.
Also, when introduced to Casey the boss quickly taught him a lesson that he clearly needed to learn in an effectively educational way.
And it was Casey himself who attempted to correct the boss in front of the entire department.
So yeah he dug his own hole.
Well, at least Casey had the balls to stand up to his new boss, if ever so slightly
I am 100% sure Casey sucks 🤣
I work in an accounting department. I’m saving this.
Statistically , car wreck above 250 km/ her are really, really improbable.
There a 1 to 234,423 chance there a bomb in an airplane. An there is 1 to 43,863,036 chance that there is two bombs in an airplane. So next time, to be sure, take a bomb with you.
This needs to happen more often
That boss sounds like an awesome person to work for
When I was in college, my statistics professor had a great saying about statistics:
“Statistics are like a bikini on a beautiful woman. What they reveal is very interesting, but what they hide is critical.”
There is a saying out there that states that there are 3 kinds to lies. Lies, damm lies and statistics.
100% certainty that the leading cause of death is living.
If a man has one foot on a block of ice and one foot in a fire, a statistician would say he’s comfortable
That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Reddit!
I love that answer. New goal unlocked : use it whenever I can.
Believe the average person has less than one testicle. Women (1/2 the population) have none and some men (like Hitler) have only one. Have never heard of anyone with three.
What’s scary is if this is the first time he’s heard it from someone in the company. It’s a strong answer and needed to be said, but, man, by freshmen year in college we were schooled in the misuse of statistics (as well as use).
The law of unintended effect was one I didn’t hear until until freshman year of college.
Statistics aren’t truth. They are a tool. A tool can be yielded to good use or clumsily. It can be used for good or evil. And sometimes you are simply stuck holding the completely wrong tool, which is quite useless
I know someone who only has one testicle. I’ll ask them if they know this statistic! At least they may feel a little less nuts! 🤣
Edit: fixed a typo
In 1930 one half of all legally married people in Texas were male.
Statistically accurate, both meaningless and useless.
In second year University I took a course called “Lying with statistics” it was an (unexpectedly) great course.
The average number of skeletons in a human body is more than one.
Creepy, but true. And also useless.
Haha, nice one boss.
Reminds me of this website too about weird statistical correlations.
https://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations
Like e.g. correlation between cat scratches and Coca-Cola Stock Price
There was a book called How to Lie with Statistics.
My husband is a Ph.D Economist which required volumes of statistics classes. He has always said you can twist statistics to prove anything.
And I’m sure he was quoting someone else but one of his favorite sayings has always been, “There are lies, damn lies and then there are statistics!”
“Testy” 🤣
In Germany there’s a saying: never trust a statistic you haven’t falsified yourself.
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
There is a book titled “a mathematician reads the news paper” that was required reading for my masters program. It has forever changed how I perceive any statistics that news reporters cite to. I highly recommend it.
There is a book titled “A mathematician reads th newspaper “. It was required reading for a university class. It has forever changed how I perceive statistics cited by the new media. I highly recommend it.
60% of the time it works every time
Well played by the new boss! It seems like an exception to get a good one.
with data someone who works a lot with data…Casey obviously never heard the saying “There are lies, damn lies and then there’s statistics” Frame the question right and you can prove almost anything with stats.
Took balls to state that statistic
They’ve done studies. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Phrases like “statistics don’t lie” are only created because statistics are pathological liars whenever you need them to be.
Statistics are 2 + 2 does not equal 4, but has a confidence interval between 3 and 5.
That’s great.
75% of the people in America make up 3/4 of the population.
That is NOT an accurate statement. “The average person has one testicle” is FALSE. Very few people have one testicle.
Try something like “people have, on average, one testicle” or “the average number of testicles a human has is one.” There is a difference.
85% of people involved in a car accident ate french fries in the 30 days preceding the crash.
Therefore, if you stop eating fries, you reduce the chances of having a crash by 85%.
The other driver may have had fries in the 30 days prior to them rear ending your car.
Therefore, French fries should be banned in the USA due to public safety concerns!
A conclusion drawn from statistics.