I (25 M) used to be absolutely terrible at this. Like, I’d do everything for my friends and family but actually saying “hey, you’re important to me” felt like I was gonna die of embarrassment or something.
I’m one of those people who shows love by doing stuff, you know? I’ll drive you to the airport at 5am, remember your favorite snacks, listen to you complain about your boss for the millionth time. But saying the actual words? Nah, that’s too scary.
Then my best friend from college went through this really dark time last year. Depression hit her hard, and she started pulling away from everyone. One day she told me she felt like nobody actually cared about her – like she was just there, taking up space.
I was shocked because I adored this girl. She was hilarious, loyal, always hyping everyone up. But I’d never actually told her any of that. I just assumed she knew.
So I started being annoyingly direct about my feelings. When my sister made me laugh until I cried, I told her she was one of the funniest people I knew. When my dad helped me fix my car, I didn’t just say thanks – I told him I felt lucky to have him as my dad.
The crazy thing? People light up when you do this. My usually stoic brother texted me back with like three heart emojis. My friend cried (happy tears).
We’re all out here feeling lonely and disconnected, but we’re too awkward to just say “you matter to me.” Meanwhile, everyone’s secretly desperate to hear exactly that.
Your people need to know they’re loved. Don’t make them guess.
TL;DR: Started actually telling friends and family I love them instead of just assuming they knew. Turns out people desperately need to hear these words, and it literally changes their whole day.
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